My SVS
by Loves Ironic Tragedy
Summary: Namine has always been a little different, what with the way she's liked the same guy since elementary school and all. What happens when she ends up spending two weeks out of summer with him? Will it be heartfelt or heartbreak? - Namixas
1. Meet Me

Someone Very Special

**One**  
_Meet Me_

_I was in second grade when I met who would become my first love. His name was Roxas Colton and from the minute he stepped foot in Ms. Basset's classroom way-back-when, I was caught. He had a hook, line, and sinker within the first few weeks of me knowing him. I mean, he was a cute kid. Everyone liked him. He was instantly popular with everyone._

_Basically he was everything that I- the one person that thought they were an exception to his cheerful blue eyes and winning smile –was not. I wasn't popular. I wasn't well-liked; even as a little kid I had very few friends. I had a twin sister (older than me by three minutes that she never lets me live down) named Kairi and a couple good friends, one as a little raven-haired girl named Xion whom I loved dearly and another being a girl named Anastasia that everyone just called Asia. But Roxas- he had tons of friends. He had made friends with some of the coolest people at our suburban elementary school before I had time to realize what was going on. He instantly befriended one the most notorious little fireball in our class, Axel Flynn, and from there the sky was the limit for the little blond._

_It wasn't until the middle of third grade that I realized I liked him. We still had our class together, just like last year._

_Fourth grade made me realize that I really liked him. Again, we were still in the same class. I still got to stare blankly at the back of his head when the teacher bored me._

_Fifth grade, I couldn't stop thinking about him. I almost failed Mrs. Mitch's class because of it. Also because one day she threatened to knock my head off if I didn't stop bothering the kid next to me, a heavier set boy named Lexaeus, and calling him an idiot. He never seemed to mind, but Mrs. Bitch Mitch did. _

_By the time I hit middle school, I was officially in love with Roxas. There were no other words for it. Yeah. I loved him alright. Now he was on both the football team and the captain of the junior basketball team, being the only sixth grader to make it onto either team and actually get out there and play once in a while._

_Roxas was everything._

_As for me, I was still nothing. I was too shy to participate in school activities; always had been, thought I always would be. Then one day, my mother got off the phone with her long-distance boyfriend of 4 years, a man I knew little about, only that they had a twenty year age difference, and sat me down on the couch in my grandmother's living room._

_We had been living with my grandma Savastano in the same house she's lived in for over forty years (right next to my uncle Guy's home, in which lived and still live him, my aunt Kathy, and two brothers in bond and cousins, for three years since my grandfather died of esophageal cancer. Now my mom looks at me and tells me we're moving from a suburb of Cleveland, Ohio to fucking rural-ass New Hampshire._

_At first I told people she said New Jersey because I still hardly knew that New Hampshire existed. I ended up telling Roxas (when he asked, of course. Hey, we did talk some you know. Given, my face turned red and I lost my thoughts, but that's beside the point) that it was New Hampshire since he was apparently the only person that I could remember the name of my new "home" for._

_Anyway, continuing on my timeline of how long I've liked Roxas Colton, I started at this shitty school called Sanborn in seventh grade where I met a bunch of really weird people. Everyone out in New England was so much different. Everyone seems closed off and like they're a prick. Even then, all through seventh grade I liked Roxas. I still thought about him. I almost never stopped. No other guys really caught my attention, not even my gorgeous new goofball friend Sora or the even more gorgeous friend we both shared, Riku. None of that matters because I keep going back to Ohio to visit my family and every time I'm out there, guess who I see playing basketball at the local recreation center?_

_Good old Roxas Colton: the object of my affections._

_So eighth grade comes up and I'm feeling good to be at the top of the middle school, but at the same time I've made friends with a parasite-like guy in my grade named Zexion who acts like he's better than everyone around him. It really aggravates me. He also comes onto me a lot and hits on me, despite the obvious advances on him by our mutual friend Demyx. Demyx is like a clueless push-baby. Those things are so small and cute you really just want to take them home with you, ya know? I want one. But my friend Marluxia, a boy who lives across the street from me as my only neighbor since the other house on my two acre lot is unoccupied and his house is the only one I can see from mine, would never allow a creature like that near his and his family's gardens. They grow beautiful flowers year-round and have a couple miniature horses. I call him a hypocritical fart-knocker for not letting me have a push-baby, but he can have three little ponies._

_Notice something? I've made more friends here than I had ever at my old him. Eighth grade is good for me, but I slowly start to sink into a depression. I miss my family. My grades are slipping. My heart has been broken too many times, and my mother's boyfriend who we now live with freaks me out with how old he is. I never thought about twenty year's difference until I really looked at the two of them. He's old enough to be my grandfather!_

_Oh, and Roxas was on my mind a little too. I started to get over it around here. I knew it was never going to happen, so I just started to shove him out of my mind and focus on the great guys I have around me today. _

_Finally freshman year rolls around and I'm pretty chill with the whole idea of becoming a high-school kid. Growing up never fazes me anymore. I've changed so much from the cute little Namine I was almost three years ago into the badass Nam that people know me as now. I wear my Hurley hats like a gangsta and guy's boxers slung low around my waist under baggy shorts and tight-fitted, low-cut shirts. Does my mother care? As long as I'm not cutting myself like I did in up until the end of last summer, she doesn't particularly mind. In fact, she's happy I'm expressing myself, what with the way I spend endless hours on my computer producing digital art and making CGs and rarely leave my room to do anything but play Call of Duty or Legend of Zelda or old Gamecube games on my Wii hooked up to the television in the living room. _

_I'm alive._

_I'm moving._

_I'm fine._

_…Two out of three isn't all that bad._

_So during freshman year I make an even newer friend, still keeping my middle school goldies (including Sora and Riku). My newest friend is a sophomore named Xigbar that seems to get along with my stupid freshman friends and I way better than he does with other dudes in his class. He likes me the best out of us though and we hang out a lot. I sleep over his house. He sleeps over mine. We're good pals. I tell him everything. He tells me anything he can without feeling awkward for talking to a female about his strange addictions and anger management problems._

_Freshman year ends with a bang, seeing as I'm started on an antidepressant and I have a whole summer full of friends and fun shit ahead of me. This has to be the best summer ever. If it's not, I swear I'm going to fall apart. Last summer was horrible. I don't even want to think about it. So that's why I wrote this little… thing about myself; in case something happens to me, I want this half notebook, half sketchbook book to be shown to everyone mentioned._

_Everyone that isn't Roxas Colton because I know for a fact he's forgotten me by now. I was just the girl that liked him from afar for so long and hurt so badly over it._

_Well get this, Roxas: I'm over you. Your seven-year reign of terror over my fragile teenage heart is over._

_X_

_Namine "Nam" Cruise_

-(NC)-

I stand at the end of my thirty-meter Y-shaped driveway, waiting for the traffic to pass so I can cross the street to grab the mail. I stare at the other side at the ratty white house with rotted green shutters hanging from holey screen windows. Literal trailer trash like wheelbarrows and barbecues are tossed along the near non-existent front yard. To the left of the house is a little garden in which my friend Marluxia has planted to try to take attention away from the disheveled state of the property he lives on with his lazy parents, three ponies, stray cat, and annoying dog. It's not the kind of place you'd envision a landscaper-wannabe to live—with dirty people. He didn't choose it, though. We all just live with the hands we're dealt.

A station-wagon (been a while since I've seen those things) speeds by, almost hitting a squirrel, but the squirrel runs off toward my yard, scampering through the small thicket and into a tree.

I jog across the street, my bra lacking total support, causing my chest to bounce uncomfortably. I slow to a walk as I approach the mailbox and scratch my black Hurley-hat clad pale-daisy hair. My splatter-paint camisole is loose on my body, hanging off me like lingerie. And my short blue shorts with frayed bottoms missing two belt loops are tight around my curvy hips, just the way I like them.

"Nam!" a voice calls as I pull open the off-white mailbox labeled '28'. I turn my head in the direction of the Czarwa house, more commonly known as where Marluxia lives- number 26 on our road. I smile when I see my rebellious, pink-haired friend. He apparently started dying it before I moved here so I never got to see his hair its natural color, which I've heard is a chestnut brown.

"Hey Mar," I greet him pleasantly with a smile, skillfully kicking my mailbox shut with one of my flip-flop adorned feet. I hold the mail in one of my armpits to crack my knuckles. "How goes it?"

He leans against the towering wooden telephone pole and grins. "Same stuff different day," he sighs melodramatically, ruffling his mop of 80s-style hair. "What about you?"

I shrug nonchalantly. "You know. Same old, same old is going on. Nothing new ever really happens."

"Got that right," he snorts. I laugh. "Hey, when do you leave for your trip back home?"

Yeah. I still refer to my old life as my home. Wanna make something of it, punk?

That's what I thought.

"Wednesday," I inform him, rubbing my itchy septum with the back of my hand. "I'm psyched, dude."

"I can see that."

"Wanna come over and get your ass kicked in Brawl?" I offer with a challenging smirk.

Marluxia exhibits a soft smile. "As good as that sounds, not today. I have to go to training," he groans.

I raise an eyebrow at him like, _training?_

"I'm getting my pilot's license then going into the Air Force," he explains.

My jaw drops. _Him_? _Never in a million years would I expect Mar to get into a fight, let alone something so dangerous like the US Air Force!_ I pout at him. "Are you sure you even want to go into the armed forces? That's really dangerous, dude." I heard about the Air Force. My great uncle was in the Air Force and fought in a ward. I can't remember which one it was. Maybe it was Vietnam. I don't know. But he told me that some of the things he saw and he had to do disturb him so much that he rarely talks about it. It's why I don't know what war he was even in.

"Maybe I'll just go into the Marines…" Marluxia grumbles. I whack him on the arm. He rolls his eyes. "What did I even do?"

"Why would _you_ want to go into the armed forces? You're a pansy! Literally! You, of all people, shouldn't be jumping on the next train to the Carolinas for boot camp," I rant. A glare finds its way onto my face. I'd hate to see something bad happen to Marly. We're good friends and I don't want to lose that.

He blinks. "I'm not _that_ delicate. Besides, I could use some toughing-up. The military would be the perfect way for me to become more than what I am now, which is nothing."

"You're not 'nothing'," I tell him sternly. "You're Marluxia. You're my across-the-street neighbor. You're my friend. And most importantly you have a future in either landscaping or interior design. Are you really going to leave all of that because you suddenly feel awkward in your own shoes?"

Guiltily, he looks away, hints of a blush materializing on his cheeks. "Some things just have to be done."

"You don't _have_ to do anything. No one's holding a gun to your head," I remind him, making a gun by pointing up my thumb and leaving my pointer and middle finger bonded together. I aim it at his face. "No one's threatening you to do anything. You don't have to go." Personally, I would rather him let me kill him than have him go off and run into a situation that will kill him without my careful advising. Because I honestly consider him inferior (don't give me that look. I warned you once, I won't do it again) to myself despite the fact he's older than me, I feel as though I have to protect him. I'm stronger than him. I could be so much more successful in the forces but I'm not dumb enough to go do that.

"You don't understand, Nam," he sighs, ruffling his hair again. He stands up straight, pushing himself off the pole he's been using for support. His faithful smile returns. "I'll see you when you get back, okay?"

I frown and put my finger gun down. "_Fine_," I groan as I am enveloped in a fierce hug. I feel my lungs burning, begging for air. I can't breathe. "Ox…y…gen…" I manage to croak out.

Marluxia releases me, blushing heavily. He beams. "Have an awesome time."

"I'll try," I mutter while he walks away. I point my makeshift gun at his back, push the imaginary trigger, and say _bang_.

-(NC)-

I fold another pair of shorts, placing them atop the thick stack on my checkerboard-themed bed. With a deep groan of boredom I lift the mass and hobble over to my midsize red suitcase in which a couple expertly-packed piles of various shirts, shorts, and underwear are already packed. I set the new pile of shorts- jeans, for the most part, but a few pairs I ordered with custom quotes off of Zazzle –next to the old one, making an L form out of clothing, leaving a random square gap of nothingness. I think I pretty much have anything that isn't a toiletry. So what could I be missing?

Oh yeah, my aunt is a lightweight and my grandma doesn't get her monthly anymore. So I might as well shove some period stuff in there, as if it won't freak out whoever goes through my bag. It's not like they'll find anything interesting; I don't wear kinky panties or bras, just whatever feels comfortable for the moment. I don't get laid constantly so I don't have condoms or stuff like that.

Then again I've never even _kissed_ a guy. Why in hell would I be getting laid? Of course I've been kissed before. I've made out and made it to third base even, actually. But with a guy I've had nothing.

My former relationship was a chick. It was the biggest mistake of my life. We've been broken up for seven months and she hates my guts now because she found out that I didn't like her like that the whole time we were together. I wasted a year and six months of her life. Ha. It's a year and six months she wouldn't have made it through without me. So she can suck my metaphorical dick. It was also abusive. She used to tell me to go die or go to hell or call me ugly or dumb or worthless. It's nothing big anymore. Lots of people just don't see that abuse in a relationship isn't always physical. That was there too, but far less prominent.

It was the words that really cut me like a knife.

I shove my copy of the newest Jason Myers book, The Mission, into the large netted zip-pocket of my suitcase. I'm not going anywhere without at least one book to read while I'm trapped. I walk over to my computer, which is on and I have iTunes open so I can listen to music while I pack. I have two new IMs and ignore them both since I really don't feel like talking to anyone right now. I want to get this done. My library is currently on _Just Got Paid, Let's Get Laid_ by The Millionaires, better known as one of the worst groups I've ever listened to. But the songs are definitely catchy.

_Think you'll get famous takin' pictures for free? Think again bitch, maybe you should do it like me. Can't believe I get paid to shake my ass on stage. Gettin' drunk e'r day makin' minimum wage. Cuz the life you wish bitch don't say shit. No talent, just lucky that they still wanna fuck me._

My secret shame is shitty music.

I lean over my computer, not failing to notice the fact that guys would kill for this view of my cleavage, and hit fast forward so I don't have to keep listening to it. Something by Brokencyde comes on and I decide I can work with that.

I continue packing, allowing my thoughts to drift very far away from my normal boundaries. I touch lots of random topics, one of them being how my old friends, friends like Xion and Asia, and my family will react when they see me. I wonder if they'll notice the tattoos I got behind my parents' backs. I bummed a fake ID off of Kairi last time she was here, got two kanji symbols. On my left shoulder blade is "fierce" and on the right is "dragon." It suits me. Oh and where does Kairi stay if not with us?

She chose to leave for the trip before I did so she could spend a couple days cleaning up our grandmother's house, that way I won't have to do anything. Generally I do all the chores around the house. This is her sick way of making it up to me.

She's an awesome sister.

Brokencyde morphs into Lovehatehero seamlessly, from _40 Oz_ to _Red Dress_. The latter is one of my favorite songs of all time. I can play it on guitar, too.

Didn't know I play guitar? I'm not great at it, but I don't suck. I can play some My Chemical Romance, some Bullet for My Valentine, and quite a few others. But this song is just _my_ song. I love it so much.

I have _Red Dress_ set as my contact ID for a number I acquired a while ago but never use. He doesn't have my number anyway so he'd be weirded out if I randomly started talking to him.

That's Roxas Colton for you.

I already told you I'm over him, alright? So don't give me any _oh that's so kawaii_ stares or I'll beat you down. My former love for Roxas has dwindled to a memory. My only concern is that when I see him (even if it's just a stupid passing glance), I tend to forget I got over him and I snap the rope I've worked so hard to braid.

That's Roxas Colton: my kryptonite.

Yep. That's what Roxas Colton is: someone very special.

* * *

Wow. I just realized I posted this incorrectly and feel horrible about it. Good thing all of no one read it. There's the good news. The weird news? I'm in the midst of _80 Days, Fad, Or Never,_ and now this because I decided I wanted to try a NamiRoku story. I promise it will be cute and fluffy, but it has to be angsty before they can get to the adorable relationship I have planned for them.

If you don't think this is crap, review it and let me know. I'd love to continue this story under advisement of some people that really like this pairing. I like it, but I like second opinions, too.

Anyways, if you read it, review it. Tell me what you think. I'm sure I'll be thanking sweet Jesus you give a shat.

Scotty.


	2. My Life is Average

**Two  
**_MLIA_

Forty minutes. Forty. Fucking. Minutes.

There's a goddamn mosquito flying around my room. I'm sitting on my bed trying to draw in my tiny black sketch-notebook. I've been working on this weird four-pronged spike design. It's like a plus-sign pretty much, only much edgier. I keep picturing it on a chain like a necklace. I'm just trying to draw and this stupid bug keeps buzzing around my room annoyingly and I'm getting really mad. For the past forty minutes I've been standing in the center of my spatial, organized room listening, waiting for the bug to land so I can kill it and rip its wings off. Normally I don't scream threats at an insect, but when it's midnight and I'm trying to finish so I can go to sleep, I don't want to be kept up by some stupid bug that won't shut up. I've had the flyswatter at ready, just itching to kill something in aggravation.

Never give me a gun. I have the strangest feeling someone would end up dead.

Finally, after ten _more_ minutes of stalking an infuriating waste of space around my room, it lands on the headboard of my bed. I creep over (having lost all regard for what happens to my furniture, just wanting this damn thing to die) and whack it full-force with the old yellow swatter.

Good-bye, Mr. Mosquito. It was a pleasure doing business with you.

I toss the dirtied swatter aside in the direction of my dresser-side trashcan. I turn off my lamp then I leap in bed, pulling my red fuzzy blanket over my body and curl up in a ball, listening as the air conditioner whirs to keep my room at a cozy sixty-eight degrees. I look at my nightlight-alarm clock. I'm afraid of the dark. So sue me. I don't fear anything else so it might as well be something reasonably sensible. According to the light blue illuminated clock, it's 12:30 am. Just my luck—a stupid mosquito _would_ keep me up for an extra hour.

Life blows.

-(NC)-

I'm awake by six the next morning, realizing I didn't finally knock out until after two. And I'm like, wow this sucks. I hate when I don't get sleep. I get so easily angered and then flip a fit on people who don't deserve it. I force myself to sit up with much effort. It doesn't matter if I get two hours or ten hours of sleep; depression takes a lot out of me and I get fatigued really easily. My body is very weak. I have a history of respiratory problems, asthma, motion sickness, and low stamina. Even when I used to play basketball I could never join a team. Not just because I hate people, but because I could never run. My body is frail even though I love to fight.

I shuffle over to the drawers and throw on some clean clothes, not caring that I didn't shower yesterday. As long as I shower every other day I don't smell that bad and my stepdad complains about me wasting water anyway. He complains about pinching the grimiest pennies. It's so stupid. I have to wash my hair, body, and face in ten minutes.

I figure mom and step-ass have already left for work. I hear a knock on our front door though and quirk a lazy brow as I walk to the sunroom to open the door. Who the hell goes over peoples' houses at six in the fucking morning?

I look through the windows to see Riku and Sora standing there, the smaller boy- the brunet with an addicting smile –is giddy when he sees me.

"Come on, Namine! Open up!" he pleads, tugging on the screen door's handle impatiently.

I open the wooden door by the knob and give my friends a weird look. They all return it tenfold. "What are you doing here at the crack of dawn, Stooges?" I ask with a yawn, kicking open the storm door.

Sora bounds in and throws his arms around me. He's a little taller than me, but not by much. So when his arms go around my lower half I am taken aback and start blushing furiously at the contact. Sora's always reminded me a little of Roxas in appearances. They have the same face shape and the same honest, cheery blue eyes.

"We wanted to say goodbye to you before you left us for _three whole weeks_," Sora whines, resting his chin on my shoulder. Riku grabs him by the arm and yanks him away. I sigh with relief, only to be trapped in another hug. I shoot Sora the _I hate you_ look over Riku's shoulder, which I can hardly see over since he's grown so damn much since I met him. He hit six feet a little while ago. Sora is still a decent two inches shorter, making me about three or four shorter than our sex-god of a mutual friend.

"Right," I drawl, rubbing my head awkwardly after a short-lived embrace with Riku. "I was just packing and I was thinking about you guys," I lie. It's just something tiny. It doesn't even matter. I just want to see Sora beam like a happy puppy.

"Were you thinking _naughty, naughty_ thoughts?" Sora asks, waggling his eyebrows. I whack him on the arm with a playful grin. He smiles in response. "I'll take that as an _ask again later_."

"Good luck with that, kiddy," I snort, trailing out of the sunroom and down the hall to my room, Sora and Riku following closely behind. "Excuse the mess, please," I request, referring to the tousled clothes tossed on my bed. My friends give me a WTF look. "What?"

"Everything is fine except your bed," Riku points out.

"Yeah, so?"

"Your room isn't a mess," he notes.

"Yes it is."

"Not really."

"That's what you think."

"That is what I think. Thanks for noticing."

"Yeah, well you're just Riku. What do you know?" I pester, pressing a brown and pink plaid shirt into a pile of shirts I've accumulated. I place a yellow and white striped camisole under it, keeping the outfit together this way. I love the total mismatched way it looks cute with short-shorts. I hold up the set to show them to my pals. They both give me an expectant look. What, do I need to spell it out for them? "What do you think?"

"It's cute," they agree. Those two agree on almost everything, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. I roll my eyes and shove the outfit into my suitcase.

"Whatever, you guys are no help whatsoever."

Sora raises an eyebrow. "We just told you it's cute, what more do you want?"

Good question. What _do _I want? I don't want to keep having dreams about Roxas Colton like I have been for the past few days. I don't want to be thinking about him. And now, thinking about how I don't want to be thinking about him, I _really_ don't want to go visit my family. What if I see him while I'm out there? Or worse: what if he sees me and I don't see him and he catches me being stupid? Ugh, what am I even thinking? This is crazy. I shouldn't be worrying like this. It's _just_ a trip for my family. I'm not going to see Roxas there.

"Can you not stare off into blank space and think about that dude you used to like while ignoring us?" Riku deadpans, folding his arms, leaning against a wall coolly.

I blush and shake my head furiously in denial. "I was not thinking about Roxas. I was _not_ thinking about Roxas Colton!" I squeal. Riku shares another look with Sora then snickers. I glower. "I _used_ to like him. I hate him."

"Of course you do, Nams," Sora laughs, scratching his head. He folds his arms behind his head. "Just admit it. You _looove _him," he teases, winking.

"No I don't!" I yelp, putting a stack of socks between piles of shorts and shirts.

"Yes you do," Sora replies.

"Do not!"

"Do so."

"I do _not_!"

"Yes, you do."

"Shut up, I don't!"

"Shut up, you do!"

"Nyeah!"

"Ne!"

I whip around and tackle Sora, shoving him into the wall. "I don't!" Sora pushes me over. I fall over onto the floor of my room. Under my bed I see my sixth grade year book—the book from the year of middle school I lived in my old town. My heart sinks. I frown. I know he doesn't remember me. I know he doesn't care. Though I think that as if he _did _care about me at one point; who am I kidding?

I'm so unloved… so deprived.

Like I said, bitch, story of my life.

-(NC)-

Murphy's fucking law is at work. No lie. Let me tell you how it happens.

So I get in town, and I'm staying with Kairi at our crazy grandma Maleficent's house. (Grandma is a bitch, just saying. She has this ass-crazy boyfriend named Pete that looks like a dog and has tried to get me to take off my hat since I got here, but I've been hiding behind it. When I wear my hat I feel tough. I feel powerful. I feel… safe. It's my wall. It's like a barrier I use for all these deeply emotional psychological reasons. Put it together, baby. I wear it to hide the real me—the vulnerable, weak girl that just wants to be loved. Maybe it's because my grandmother hates me and she smacks me around for dressing less feminine than my sister. She tells me I'm inferior. She tells me I need to be more girly. I think that she only does it because she wants to live out her dreams through me just because she's ugly and Kairi's a bit of a ditz.

Ooh. Deep.

Like the black hole that is my soul.

Ooh. Rhyming.

Anyway, so I'm in town, right? And I'm chilling with Kairi. She has her pink and black bike parked at the end of the gravel driveway with my blue and white monster of a bike next to hers. She herself is sitting on the seat of hers, tiny black shorts riding up her thighs. You can catch a glimpse of her red thong if you look real close. Her pink tube top is tight on her body, tiny white cellphone in hand, typing away a text.

"Sora says hi," she informs me, pushing some of her perfectly silky auburn hair behind her small ears. She continues by telling me that, "Apparently Riku says hi, too, and that he misses you."

My cheeks redden. "Tell 'em ditto for me, will you?" I request, throwing one of my pale legs over the crotch-killing seat of my bike and putting my gray flip-flop down on the pedal. "Do you want to go now?"

Shoving her phone in her slim front pocket, Kairi puts a black Converse down on a pedal. "Let's bolt."

We bike down the street, take a left, cross the street, bike down the main road, hang another left creating a giant right-angle, and then we arrive at the local recreation center, formally referred to as The Rec by people in town. We park our bicycles on the rack and lock them up with combination locks. I set my combo at 25012.

"We haven't been here in over a year, you know," Kairi tells me. She scratches her head as we walk up the path to the entryway.

"I know, I fucking suck at basketball now," I snort.

"We could always play at the neighbor's house," she suggests.

I pull open the door for her. She mutters a "thanks" to me. We walk in to see the white-with-splattered-primary-colors tiled floors still dirty with footprints. Kairi follows me, our shoes clapping against the tiles; fluorescent lights pissing off my eyes. There are six sets of double doors into the gymnasium, which is what we're here for in the first place. There is a rack stocked with basketballs of different weights. I choose one good for bouncing; there aren't a lot of high numbered ones anyway.

Kairi grabs one too, curiously glancing at a boy a couple years older than us. He has fiery red hair, tarnished emerald eyes, and a cocky smirk. He's insanely tall and terribly lanky. His eyes switch their gaze from a weird deadlock with my sister to giving me a questioning look.

"You look familiar," I brainlessly say to him.

This is Axel Flynn. He was Roxas Colton's best friend.

My heart jumps in my chest. What if he's here? He _could_ be here. He likes basketball. Axel likes sports, too. This should be him. So if he's here, then Roxas should be here! What if he is? I could finally kick his ass at basketball like I've always wanted to. Oh, how I wanted this day to come.

"Yeah, you do too," Axel says. He taps his chin. "In case you're not sure it's _Axel_. Got it memorized?"

I think I glow. "Yes! I know you," I say stupidly.

He smiles fondly at me. "I know you too. You're Namine, right?" I nod. I momentarily wonder where Kairi went, but I figure she found her way about. She likes the hoops, too, so it be all good, brah. "I haven't seen you in forever. How have you been?"

"I've been good, thanks." I look him up and down, taking in his height. "Man, you got big! Puberty done you good, bud. You look fierce."

Fierce? What the hell am I saying?

"Thanks. And you look," he pauses, drinking me in with his eyes. He scans me up and down, hungrily taking in every curve. I feel him eye-raping me. Is it creepy? "You're looking fucking great. You used to be all awkward, but now you're really pretty."

I dribble the ball over to a free hoop, Axel trailing close behind me. He's dribbling a heavier ball. He must have tough arms if he's doing this so effortlessly.

"Why thank you."

I bounce the ball, prop it up on my palm, and shoot. It hits the rim and rebounds right into Axel. He knocks it back to me. I shoot again and it swishes. He claps his hands. "Wasn't that girl that looks like you just here? Isn't she your sister?"

Now that he mentions it…

"Yeah, that's Kairi. I don't know where she is though." I flip my hand and shoot the ball again. It hits the backboard. "She's a big girl. She can handle herself."

Axel laughs openly, taking a shot and swishing it easily. "You're nice."

"Axel!" a raspy voice demands the redhead's attention.

I turn to see the owner of the voice. I think I used to know him. He has perfectly-sculpted dirty- blonde hair. He's wearing a pair of baggy khakis (in summer?) and black shoes. He has also a white and black short-sleeved vest. I'm not going to lie—he is a fucking _babe_. And those eyes? Oh my fucking _god_, don't get me on the eyes. Ha. It's funny. They look a lot like they belong to…

"Roxas," Axel says, chucking the heavy ball right at his pal.

Yeah, I meant him.

"Who's your friend?" Roxas asks Axel. The former skims over me with those shimmery deep-sea blue eyes, a small smile creeping onto his flawless face. "Namine Cruise," he surprisingly says. "Lookin' _good_," he drawls.

Please tell me why I feel more alive than I have in ages. And while you're at it, give me the reason that being in front of me is making me burn all over. I feel self-conscious in my jean shorts and baggy white Hurley shirt; my backwards hat most of all. I shudder when I see his eyes. I melt when they meet mine. Everything disappears.

"T-thanks…" I manage, shooting another hoop. It swishes. Roxas and Axel applaud me. I turn tomato fucking red.

"Hey Nams," Roxas starts. His eyes are boring through my head. It's freaking me out. "The Homedays are this weekend. Do you want to come with Axel and me?"

Axel gives me the best puppy eyes he can manage. "Come on, it'll be fun. You can bring your sister along."

_This can't be happening. This is one of the weirdest moments of my life. _

"Uh…" I avert my eyes, subtly looking for Kairi, wondering where she is. I see her on the other side of the gym. She's sitting on the bleachers texting. What a bitch. She peeks up from her phone and smiles at me, giving me a half-assed wave.

_I could set her up with Axel if I tried…_

"Sure, why not," I agree. A make sure a smile is on my face, even though I'm nervous. Even though my heart is about to burst; even though I am about to explode; even though I want to _die_ in front of Roxas right now, I'm alive. Somehow, I'm alive. Do you _know_ how my thoughts are? All they're doing is saying _Roxas_ on repeat.

_Roxas. Roxas. Roxas. Roxas. _

_Oh, hey, guess what?_

_What?_

_Roxas!_

…He has a massive effect on me, even as a badass motherfucker, that is deadly. Have you noticed?

Good, because I haven't.

Axel cheers. He pats Roxas on the back. "Huzzah! We get to take two pretty girls to a fair! And we hardly even fucking remember them!"

Roxas purses his lips and elbows Axel in the side. "Right, you just keep on being a dumbass." He turns his attention to me. "We'll pay for everything there, rides and all."

I laugh nervously. "Ha. Yeah. Sounds good to me," I tell them both.

A nimble finger taps my shoulder. I turn around to see Kairi with her chin on my shoulder. She bats her lashes. In Roxas' direction, perhaps, but it better not be.

_Bitch please. I'll whack you so hard you don't know what hit you, sister._

_Oh wait, you _are_ my sister…_

"Hey Nams, who're your friends?" she asks flirtatiously.

I love how opposite we are—her confident, me shy; her flirty, me subtle. I can't even believe we came out of the same womb. I live in her shadow and it sucks.

"That's Roxas, this is Axel," I introduce, pointing to them respectively. I try not to make myself sound interested in Roxas. If I even _hint_ to him about the huge crush I've harbored deep down for all these years, I'd probably die.

I feel Kairi's jaw drop. She whispers in my ear, asking if this is the Roxas I've always liked- the one we went to grade school with. I grimace and nod stiffly.

"You don't like him anymore, right?" she asks. I mutter something like an agreement to that statement. She squeals right in my fucking ear and bounces up and down, parting her hands from my shoulders. "Awesome! Free game!"

My eyes widen slightly then narrow into a noticeable glare in my twin's direction. "No way," I yell at her.

Axel, Roxas, _and_ Kairi give me queer looks like, _what?_

My face flushes bright red. I hang my head. "Ah. Nothing, it's nothing. I _sweaaar _it's nothing," I lie. I grab Kairi's arm and yank on it. "What do you think you're saying?" I hiss.

She blinks. "What?"

After two minutes of frantic spasms at Kairi, Axel taps my shoulder. I only know because when I stumble backwards and collapse into his arms, I can tell he's twig thin. Roxas is built, not lanky.

"Uh..." Axel awkwardly props me up and lets me stand. "Can we give you our numbers? It's time to go," he says.

I pull my phone out of my pocket, fumbling with the buttons on the Samsung Intensity. "Right, right, I'm sorry about that. Here, type it in," I order, passing my phone to Axel. I turn to Kairi while he types away. I give her a death glare.

_I mean fucking business, sister._

I receive a peaked eyebrow from Kairi. _What are you talking about?_

_You know what I mean_, I think incredulously.

_Of course I do, sister dear. I'm going to beat you to Roxas before you leave the starting line._

My eye twitches. I clench my fist.

_That's what you think._

* * *

I feel bad because usually I'm so focused on Or Never that nothing else ever gets written. So I'm trying to take a little break from that whilst writing an epic, long-ass chapter that adds new characters, has tons of twists, and all that fun stuff. But this story is something I'm liking so far. I mean, It has two chapters. So what? Doesn't mean it's not good. Ah well.

If you like this story, please review. It- for some reason -makes me work harder. :k

Scotty.


	3. Time To Go

**Three  
**_Time To Go_

I realize too late- as in I'm lying on the couch in my grandma's basement at three in the morning while attempting to ignore her watching television upstairs –that earlier when I asked Roxas and Axel to put their numbers in my phone, I already _had_ Roxas in there and he must have seen it.

_Oh dear motherfucking God, why do you hate me?_

I sigh. Chunks of my platinum hair escape from under my hat and brush over my long eyelashes, cold cheeks, and also brush over my neck that is long rigid from lying in an awkward position.

_Why me?_

Good question. Why me? Why do I have a bitchy sister that wants to steal the one guy that makes my heart pound? Why does she have to be like that? I can't remember a time when I ever honestly stopped liking Roxas Colton. It just never crossed my mind to give it up and go home. Something about him draws me in. It always has and always will. But Kairi just wants him because he's hot.

I don't know too much about him unless I go by what I knew when we were younger, but I do know he's a lot more things than just _zomg hawt_. There is no possible way that there's only one fact to that guy. No way. There has to be something behind his eyes. The eyes say everything. But when in the world am I going to get a chance to stare at his eyes? I can't do everything with one glance.

All this _can't_ is making me sick to my stomach; I can feel it churning in self-loathing inside me. It's nasty to say the least. It almost feels like I'm going to throw up and I hope to the heavens I don't because cleaning that shit up is nasty.

My eyelids weigh a ton. In no effort to stop myself, I drift into Dreamland, hoping that when I wake up I'll feel less defeated. It goes without saying, though, that while being asleep I miss a few texts, one of them being something I really should have stayed awake for. My dream follows the song _Red Dress_, and that's all I find important, even in the midst of a heavy sleep.

-(NC)-

The Homedays are supposed to start this afternoon around four and I _hate_ tearing clothes out of my suitcase and finding out I have all of nothing to wear. It's such a femme dilemma and normally I would never peg myself as a victim of it, but damn does it suck! I'm going to be spending my evening with _Roxas Colton_. Roxas. Fucking. Colton. It has to be perfect.

Perfect, I tell you!

So I took the liberty of inviting my perverted cousin that's two years younger than me to the mall so he could help me pick a new outfit with the _male perspective_ in mind. Having him walk into Pac Sun with me was a little bit more than awkward. People thought we were together—EW—because he's my height already. He has big feet.

You know what they say about guy with big feet, right?

Let's pretend I didn't just think about the size of my younger cousin's dick…

Eventually we (as in Kairi and I) leave the house and start the walk up to the fair. Maleficent threw a major fit about us going with guys and it was slightly more than annoying. She also said that Kairi looked great but me? I looked like a less-than-average Joe. She doesn't know it, but that really hurt m. I don't like being reminded that I'm not like my sister.

Kairi and I are walking slowly, me in my faithful Converse and her in feminine flip-flops that she'll, eh, _most likely_ try to use to get Roxas' attention. Does she not realize that he is mine? Does she not realize that he is supposed to like _me_ not _her_? Given, my luck really sucks and I can only hope it will actually happen, but. You know how it is.

"So you're taking Axel and I'm taking… Roxas," Kairi says.

My eye twitches. "Uh, no," I tell her. She tears her eyes from her phone and gives me a look of panic and distress. "What? Roxas asked me, not you." I snort. "Did you _really_ think you're going with him..?"

"Well…" she drawls, folding her arms. "Of course I did. I always get the better guy, remember? It's been that way since middle school," she explains like it's obvious.

I stop walking and scowl at her, turning my Hurley hat around so I'm wearing it backwards.

Shit's so going to go down.

Axel's not even a bad guy; he was cool before Roxas even knew him. She shouldn't be hating on him.

"Do you want me to hit you?" I ask my sister. She gives me a questioning look. My scowl deepens visibly with aversion. "You have to be kidding me."

She shakes her head and shrugs, twisting her lips. "No, actually, I wasn't. I thought I got Roxas."

"Well you don't," I declare.

Kairi gapes. "What do you mean _I don't_?"

I reach for my phone in my pocket because I feel it vibrating. "I mean, he's not yours just because he's a _babe_." I open the new text message.

_New Text Message Roxas_

_ We already got you wristbands for rides n stuff. Meet us by the Tasmanian devil?_

The Tasmanian devil is one of those circular rides on the platform that spins you all around in one direction and twirls you up, down, all around until you get sick. I turn bright red at the thought of going on a ride with him. The Ferris wheel sounds nice.

_Holy shit. Roxas and me on the Ferris wheel… It gets to the top and stops and we're left looking over everything… And he'd kiss me sweetly and… _

_ /Drool…_

I text him back and agree to meet him and Axel by the Tasmanian devil. It's technically called the _Trabant_. Kairi trails behind me as I start walking after sending my text.

"Honestly, Namine? You think that _you_ could get a better looking guy than I could?" my sister asks.

My jaw almost drops, but I bite my lip to hold it back. It's not just because I'm mad she's insulting me like this. She wasn't always a bitch, but ever since she hit middle school she became a total jerk. And it's not just because she's treating my feelings like they don't exist; I'm totally used to that. People have a tendency to do that to me. After a while it doesn't faze you. The real reason I'm biting my lip is because I think I'm going to cry. She couldn't have picked a worse time, but Kairi did it. She picked a horrible time and now I'm starting to cry. I want to hold it back so Roxas and Axel don't see. I've waited for _over half my life_ to get an opportunity like this with Roxas. I can't let Kairi ruin that. But that doesn't mean the reminder of her superiority to me doesn't hurt.

It still really hurts.

"Huh," I muse aloud, "I guess I thought you'd give me this one, but I was wrong."

I look away from her as I cross the street, my twin trailing close behind me. The library parking lot is packed; the lot behind it is where they set up the Homedays. There are a couple small roller coasters, a power tower, a Ferris wheel, the Trabant, and a bunch of other rides. There are a handful of game booths and dozens of food kiosks around. It reeks of funnel cakes and pizza, lemonade and pop. People smell sweaty from the 86 degrees of heat, lack of clouds, and the gentle wind that doesn't exist.

I ignore Kairi as we shove through the packed parking lot. She continuously tries reaching out to me and pulling me back to talk to her, but I don't want to argue. I don't want to look at her. I don't want to look at anyone with these tears in my eyes. They'll see me about to break and all my walls- including the extra barrier provided by my hat –about to crumble. I don't need that. I don't need the love of my life's first half to see me cry the first time we spend time together.

Sure enough, Roxas and Axel are leaned up against the Trabant. I can see them through a gap in the crowd. How can I be sure it's him? I've liked him so long that I could see him from a mile away. And _damn _does he look beautiful. Not hot. Not sexy.

Okay, so he _is_ hot and he _is_ sexy. But at the same time, he is so beautiful right now I can't even express it. His head is thrown back in laughter, hair whipping around him as he moves. The sunlight strikes his smile, causing it to light up like the moon at night upon reflecting that same light. He has on this baggy _Fox Riders_ shirt the color of his eyes with black splatters on it, black shorts that hang low on his hips and touch the base of his knees. They look perfect on him! He knows how to wear shorts.

Guys should wear shorts two ways: slightly above the knee, or all the way below it. If they hang to the middle of the knee it takes away from their height.

But that twinkle in Roxas' eye that I can see from a few meters away is stunning. I've never seen anyone so dazzling in my life. He just looks so… And his laugh is so...! He's everything I could ever want in a guy. Sure I still don't know him that well, but I know him better than Kairi does.

That dumb broad. She doesn't stand a chance.

Axel notices us approaching them before Roxas does. A smile touches his face. He nudges Roxas and whispers something to him. Roxas blushes and shoves his _far_ taller best friend. They shove each other back and forth until Kairi (to my displeasure. I was enjoying watching them…) interrupts them.

"Are you done yet?" Kairi rudely intrudes on their little _male bonding _moment.

Roxas and Axel stop abruptly. They awkwardly look at her.

Silence.

Silence.

"Um… Yeah, I guess," Roxas awkwardly drones to her. He scratches his head. He has that look on his face that just screams, "WTF."

Believe me man, I know how you feel.

His eyes turn to me in my pale blue jean shorts and floral tube top. Its flowers are purple and teal against white. My hat doesn't _entirely_ match, but I can't take it off. Not now.

"Hey Namine…" he whispers. "You look… really pretty."

Can I see his face turning red?

Oh yeah. I made Roxas Colton blush.

Aw hell yeah.

His eyes are averted and he's holding out two bright orange paper wristbands—one for me, one for the queen bitch beside me. "These are yours," he informs us. Kairi excitedly snatches one and epic fails at attempting to put it on. It slips out of her hand and the sticky part adheres to her knee. She looks retarded as she tries to pull it off. I snort a laugh at her.

I love it when she gets what she deserves, the dumb bitch.

I remove the tape from the band and start trying to get it around my wrist. I fumble with it a bit before sighing angrily. I glare down at the band. I get mad at the stupid thing for making me stinking fail. Roxas smiles at me, watching my hands. I bet he's wondering how I'm failing so badly. "Do you want help?" he asks.

I nod. "Yes. Please," I grumble, still giving the neon wristband a death glare.

Roxas takes it from between two of my fingers and wraps it around my wrist easily, attaching the sticky side to the paper. It settles around my wrist like a bracelet, like it's supposed to be worn.

Isn't this embarrassing…

"There," Roxas triumphantly states, "You're good."

I thank him. He blushes a little.

Maybe he's not blushing at all. Maybe it is sunburn. It'd make a lot more sense.

Not once in my life had I ever seen Roxas Colton trip up at all with a girl. He always has this hurricane of confidence going for him. He never, _ever_ has a problem with girls. I'm sure he's kissed plenty, made out with more than a few, and fucked at least a couple. He's just that good.

And then there's me—virginal little Namine who has yet to even _kiss_ a guy. Is that pathetic or fucking what? Someone please smack me for being such a loser. Maybe I should go on Tool Academy because—Lord fucking knows—that I'm going to end up using a guy just to get my first _meaningful_ kiss. Not that kissing _some guy_ would be meaningful. That really defeats the purpose.

It'd probably mean something if it was one of my guy friends, like Xigbar or Sora or Riku.

Mm… I wouldn't mind planting kisses _all over_ Riku. He's one gorgeous sonofabitch.

I'm in like with Roxas, though!

I guess I'm kind of into Riku, if you really think into it. But I don't think into it that deep. He's my pal, y'know? I'd willingly give him my virginity because we're close, but does that mean I would date him or be in a relationship with him?

No, I wouldn't.

Oh my god, I _am_ a Tool!

A look of horror crosses my face. It earns queer stares from the three companions I'm keeping today.

"Uh… Nam?" Kairi pokes me a couple times.

I don't respond.

"Naaaaam…?" she tries again, poking me some more.

No response.

"Namine!"

"Shut up you homosexual lemon!" I yell at her snappishly. She blinks, taken aback by my outburst.

Axel grins, laughing openly. Roxas' eyebrow is raised. "Nice one," Axel says, "Way to flip a shit on your sister."

I mutter something about her deserving it.

Roxas nods like, _right…_ He claps his hands together and smiles. "We ready to go?" He looks from Axel to me, me to Kairi, Kairi back to me, and keeps looking at me, straight in the face. Straight in my fucking face that's turning bright red from the attention. "That's a yes. Axel, don't rape Kairi while we're gone."

"Wait, what?" Kairi's head turns this way and that, eyes gleaming in confusion. She doesn't understand that she really just _isn't_ getting Roxas and I am.

Axel groans and leans back against the Trabant. Yeah, he's stuck with a dumb brunette today.

"See, Kai," I talk slowly as if I'm talking to a retard. As far as I'm concerned I am anyway. "You and Axel are doing your thing; Roxas and I are doing our own. We'll meet up later."

"You're leaving me with _him_?" Kairi squeals in disgust.

Axel snorts. "You're leaving me with _that_?" he asks Roxas, rolling his eyes in the blond boy's direction. Roxas elbows him. "What? She's a—OW!"

Roxas sucker punches him in the gut. I stifle a laugh.

_I could really learn to love this guy. Oh wait I already did. _

"Axel!" Roxas hisses. Axel winces in pain. "Stop being a douche bag."

"I'm not being a douche bag!" Axel defends himself cheaply.

Roxas laughs. "Sure you aren't."

"But I'm not!"

"…But you are."

"Shut up you homosexual potato!"

"I'm not gay!"

"_Sure you aren't_," Axel teases, mocking Roxas' tone and sticking out his tongue. Out of the corner of my eye I see Kairi trying not to giggle, but she's finally put her cellphone away, officially acknowledging Axel's existence.

Roxas' face falls. I can see the anime sweat drop on his forehead.

"Stealing my line, Axel?" I ask shiftily.

Axel smirks, waggles his eyebrows at me. "Would _I_ do that?"

"And now you're copying Steve Urkel!" Kairi interjects giddily.

Axel snaps his fingers on his left hand and holds his right out, offering a high-five to my sister. She gladly whacks his hand. It makes a loud _crack_ sound. "Alright, we got a nineties television fan right fucking here!" Axel cheers. He takes note of the few steps Kairi takes closer to him.

"Nineties television was the best. Hands down," I agree, nodding.

"The seventies were pretty good too," Roxas adds. He asks, "Ever seen _Taxi_?"

"Yes!" I squee. "I didn't think anyone else still watched that!"

_It means we have more in common. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge._

"What show is that?" Kairi asks, looking at us curiously. Axel has the same hopeless look on his face that she does. Huh. Maybe they'll get along better than I thought.

Roxas explains, "It had Danny DeVito in it playing an asshole and that guy who played Danny Zuko's best friend in _Grease _playing an unknown actor. The show is awesome. You guys should watch it sometime." In a quick turnaround from our old TV conversation, he pats his friend on the back then turns to me. He reaches for my hand and grabs it (causing my 'sunburn' to worsen). He beams. "Let's go."

I nod vigorously. _Thank yoooou, Roxas! That weird stare Kairi is giving us is starting to freak me out. She looks like a scared bug._

_ Ew. Bugs._

"That sounds good to me! Bye, Axel!" I shoot Kairi a passing glance as Roxas pulls me away. "Bye Kairi."

"Wait, Namine!" Kairi calls after me as my excited new friend drags me off into the horde of fair-goers.

I pretend I can't hear her. It's all just an annoying little buzzing sound anyway. I hope she learns to get along with Axel, though. He's not a bad guy.

She's a bad girl, but he's not a bad guy.

_Good luck, Axel. You're gonna need it._

Roxas and I slow down to a walk and stop in front of the Ferris wheel. I resist the boiling urge to say we should go on it. That wouldn't be embarrassing or anything… So Roxas asks, "What do you want to do first?"

My eyebrows shoot up. _He wants me to pick? How… funny. He's different from Kairi and my grandma and, well, almost everyone else around me._

_ I'm so unloved. _

_ Insert random hyphen-dot-hyphen emoticon here._

_ -.-_

_ Yeah, like that!_

"Don't you want to choose?" I question nervously, not meeting his gaze in fear it'll turn me into a babbling idiot.

"Why would I do that? You're the girl," he explains. I can almost hear him scratching his head curiously.

I lift my head. A grateful smile cracks on my lips. Without realizing it I throw my arms around him and squeeze him in a cozy hug. God, his body is so ripped. I can feel it through his shirt. I can also feel his muscles when he hugs me back, wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me tight.

_Oh fuck yeah._

_ Roxas, you're something else. _

_

* * *

_

Woop! Chapter three for the win. Tell me whatcha think, kiddies! I'm glad you guys are liking it so far. :)  
Sorry for the late update, too... I have a tendency to do that lately.

Scotty.


	4. Happy Time!

**Four  
**_Happy Time_

I stare down one game booth in particular because it's staring at me, challenging me, fucking _daring_ me to take it on. It's a shooting game. There's a piece of paper with a small red star on it. You have to shoot out the entire star to win. The star intimidates me in the way only a slightly psychotic game could make me. I glare at the booth.

"Bitch you're going down," I hiss.

Roxas squeezes my hand. "You want to play?" he asks.

I beam and nod fervently. "Let's do it!" I yank him by the wrist up to the booth. A homely brunette woman is working there. She holds out her hand, expecting me to hand her the money. I dig my hand into one of my pockets and fan through my money, trying to pick out three dollars.

Roxas grabs my wrist. "I told you I was going to pay," he reminds me.

My jaw drops. "I didn't know you were serious!"

"Of course I was serious! I asked you out so I have to pay!"

"So if I asked you out then I could pay?"

"Sure, why not!"

"Then go out with me!"

"We're already out!" he exasperates, flailing his arms animatedly. He halts immediately. "Wait, you just asked me out," he points out.

I nod like, _no dip_. "Well… Yeah, I guess I did. Got a problem with that?"

He laughs this enchanting laugh and finally hands the lady three bucks so I can play the shooting game. I stare down the red star on the four-by-four sheet of paper fifteen feet away. The gun is chained down so I only have so much room to aim properly. The gun _also_ doesn't have a scope. My eye twitches. This is uncool.

_You're so going down_. I forewarn the star in my mind. _I am going to win the giant Knuckles the echidna from Sonic the Hedgehog! I will win it and I shall treasure it!_

"Yeah, Naminé, go for it!" an obnoxiously familiar voice cheers for me. I grimace and look over my shoulder to see Kairi fondly arm-in-arm with Axel, walking around like a brother and sister would.

Insert anime sweat drop here…

_She's not even that nice to _me_!_

_…Damn it._

"Nami, Nami, she's our girl. If she can't do this I'll fuckin' hurl!" Axel sings, clapping his hands.

Kairi awkwardly pulls her arm from his. "About that…"

Axel pouts. "And I thought we were getting along so well, too," he sighs, shaking his head in self-disappoint.

Kairi stares uncomfortably in my direction with fret written all over her features. I nod in understanding. Is it me, or is she actually getting attached to Axel? Or maybe with the way she's looking at _my man_ she's getting attached to Roxas!

_WHAT THE HELL? BITCH. HE'S MINE._

"Hey Roxas," I call; pulling his attention from something Axel said that appears to have been funny. I motion for the object of my affections to come over to me. He does so.

"Yeah?" he says, wondering what I'm talking about.

I grab his arm and tug him closer. "Do you know how to shoot?" I ask him. He tilts his head and stares down at the rifle. He flushes and his face tinges green. I try not to laugh. "Want me to show you?" I offer, nodding toward the paper on the end of the long string.

"That's… not going to kill me… is it?" Roxas reaches with shaky hands to lift up the gun. His eyes go wide when he realizes the weight. "Holy shit… You could kill someone with this!"

I nod, grinning all the while. "That's sorta the point." I settle a hand in his hair and subconsciously start running my fingers through it. It's really soft and as I push strands out of the way of others a strangely fruity scent wafts into my nostrils from the breeze and our closeness. I savor it before guiding Roxas' body with my arms, showing him how to aim properly and such.

My chest touches his back. My face presses into the warm hair on the back of his head. His anatomy pretty much spoons my own as we stand there, him form fitting to my position. I turn bright red, but thankfully he can't see that. He's still shaking, though.

_If he doesn't cut that out he might hurt himself. Or worse! He might hurt me!_

"What you're gonna wanna do is aim a little bit lower than you think the star is because this thing is really deceptive. They try to rob you like that," I explain, trying to steady his hands by gripping them tightly with my own. His knuckles are white, I notice. He tries repositioning his fingers multiple times, accidentally pulling the trigger once. I yank his hand off of it. "Stop freaking out, will you? Nothing is going to happen! This thing is attached to a chain attached to a _very _large set-up. Do you honestly believe you're going to hurt anyone that isn't yourself?"

He blushes and sets down the gun. "I've never even touched a gun before. I've always been a little freaked out by them," he admits.

My eye twitches. "_You_ are afraid of guns? I'm a girl and I fully enjoy shooting shit, but you're _afraid_ of artillery?" I narrow my eyes. "My friend just went into the armed forces. What if he comes home and decides he wants to show off some of his cool gun tricks while you're there?"

So it's not _entirely_ a lie. I live near Marluxia and he _is_ my friend and he _is_ going into the forces, but he doesn't live here in Ohio. So I doubt Roxas would be around to see that.

I whack Roxas in the arm. He rubs the red spot mildly. "Stop being such a… _girl_," I tell him, poking his forehead and staring intently into his eyes. I'm determined to make this work.

My dream guy hasn't even picked up a gun before.

Well fuck me…

Roxas glares at me, whips around to grab the gun, and before I know it the whole red star in the center of his paper is shot out singlehandedly. My jaw drops. Axel's jaw drops. Kairi sighs dreamily. Roxas pivots on his heel and glowers at me accusingly. And I'm all taken aback because he just pulled that out of nowhere like the Incredible Hulk.

"I'm not a girl," Roxas mutters coldly, eyes stony and dead.

_Whoa, what's up his ass?_

I blink. "I… Sorry," I whisper, not meeting his frightening gaze.

"Eh. Not your fault," he says rather cheerily. Then he looks up at all the prizes hanging around the stand. He passes me a smile. "Which one do you want?"

_As if I wasn't already the most startled person in the world. You now offer to let me pick the prize?_

_Ugh. What a sugary sweetheart. I could just eat him up—literally _and _figuratively._

I unsteadily point to Knuckles. Roxas says something to the homely lady running the stand. Within moments she has the four foot-high echidna sitting on the ground before me, staring up at me behind those ginormous SEGA eyes. I scoop it into my arms and pet it affectionately, not taking my eyes off of Roxas.

"Thank you, Roxas."

Yeah, I'm just trying not to give off how fucking ecstatic I am I just got a giant echidna to add to my stuffed animal collection. I already have a Sonic and a Shadow. Now I have Knuckles! The gang's all here!

"He looks just like Axel," Kairi dumbly points out.

Axel's jaw drops.

Roxas laughs.

I hold Knuckles close to my heart.

_Now all I need is Amy and I'll have a full set._

What, exactly, do I mean by that? Axel is Knuckles. I've always considered myself Shadow, but now Kairi can be Shadow because she's just so damn _evil_. Roxas can be Sonic and I'll be Amy. Ha. Just like Rouge and Shadow. Or maybe I should be Shadow and Roxas should be Rouge (because I'm way too masculine to be that slutty bat)?

"Hey Roxas," I begin. He watches me for a moment expectantly before I ask, "How would you feel about being a slutty bat?"

Roxas seriously contemplates this for a long moment.

_Oh my god I can't believe he's actually thinking about it._

_Faaaaaggot!_

"Depends; am I a _sexy_ slutty bat?" he wonders, waggling his eyebrows.

I roll my eyes.

_Like I said—faaaaggot!_

"Uh… If that's what you want to call it then sure?"

"Definitely."

_He doesn't even want to know if he's going to be a chick or not? Ah well, his loss._

-(NC)-

Earlier today, after the whole _I-want-Knuckles-and-Roxas-just-shot-the-shit-out-of-a-piece-of-paper_ incident, I invited him and Axel (unbeknownst to Kairi) to come swimming in my uncle's pool (while he's out of town) late at night. For some reason I've always preferred night swimming to going during the day. Maybe it's because the water is cooler or there's something beautifully ominous about nighttime. Anyway, I didn't expect either Axel or Roxas to want to go, but for some reason at 11:45 pm, they both knocked on the front door to my uncle's house, presumably seeing the light on in the back yard. I had to be careful with how much our presence may or may not be known so I dimmed the light; that way no one would notice that there's going to be two horny teenagers and Roxas in someone's pool.

See, I kind of stole the key to my uncle's house and got into his back yard through his sliding door. I've been sitting on the back porch for a while now.

11:45 and there's a quiet knock on the front door. I sneak over to the edge of the porch to eavesdrop.

"Are you sure this is the right house?" one person asks.

Another answers, "Of course it is. I've been here before."

"When was that?" the first person asks, sounding rather pissed at the second.

"I don't stalk her, if that's what you're implying."

"Dude, this isn't even _her_ house. It's her uncle's!"

"…It's creepy that you know that."

The higher voice (the first person) sighs in annoyance. "She _told us_ her uncle is out of town, Sherlock. No shit I know this isn't her house."

"Well excuse me for staring at her rack instead of listening."

I turn bright red. That's a faintly-over-embarrassing thing to hear about yourself when no one realizes you're listening. I silently push open the sliding glass door and sneak into the weakly lighted dining room. I trail across the kitchen and open the side door for – I never would've guessed – Axel and Roxas. They stare at me awkwardly as I stand before them in a periwinkle bikini. It has string-tied bottoms and a halter top that leaves little to the imagination—just enough to the imagination that Axel is staring, trying to see through my top like he has x-ray vision.

I grimace. "Can you _not_ stare at my chest please?" I greet him unpleasantly.

Axel sheepishly grins. "I'm a guy. What do you want from me?"

So we all go into the back, closing up everything in my uncle's house to make sure it looks exactly the same as he left it as we go. When we get onto the porch, I skillfully close the sliding door. Axel and Roxas stare at the pool from the deck, staring at its six-foot depth. Sure, it's not the deepest pool in the world and it's about five feet deep along the edges, but it suffices for a swim.

After splash fights and wrestling, we make up a strangely amusing game similar to Marco Polo. Someone closes their eyes and someone else rides on their back. The person with their eyes closed has to listen to the directions of the person on their back and try to catch the person swimming around.

Let's just say watching Roxas carry Axel was amusing.

And let's just say that attempting to carry Roxas was a rather difficult feat.

And _let's just say_ that I never got carried by anyone because I didn't trust either of them. I guess I trusted Roxas, but if I allowed him to carry me I would be all wet and clinging to him and it would be awkward.

And after that we're all just mindlessly floating around until Axel suggests, "Let's play 10 Questions."

I should've known that this would begin my downfall.

Axel explains, "One person takes turns asking the other two people ten questions as a pair but they each have to answer it. So if I asked you questions, you would each answer all ten. Make sense?"

Roxas nods queerly. "Sure."

"I'm game," I approve, balancing carefully on a Styrofoam green pool noodle. "Go easy on us," I plead.

_Yeah, the last thing I need is to confess my feelings for Roxas accidentally while we're swimming in my uncle's pool. I can think of few things more embarrassing than that._

"Um… What's your favorite color?" Axel asks.

I boo him. "Worst fucking question in history!"

"Agreed," Roxas declares. Then he says, "Blue."

"Gray," I answer Axel's question.

"Hmm… Pancakes or waffles?" Axel asks.

"Waffles hands down," I state.

"Pancakes all the way," Roxas disagrees.

I glare at him. "Waffles."

He glares back. "Pancakes."

"Pancakes are stupid," I scoff.

"Waffles are made in the toaster," Roxas retorts. "Only losers use toasters."

"Only losers say only losers do stuff."

He blinks.

"Score: one for me, none for you, biiitch!"

Axel interrupts my gloating. "What song do you think represents how you feel right now?"

I tap my chin. _I really hope they've never heard of Lovehatehero. Then again I could always come up with an excuse as to why I picked Red Dress…_

_On the other hand, that's way too obvious. It's my ringtone for him. And since he had my phone he knows that it is. That would totally give me away._

"Dancing With Her Eyes Closed," I decide, nodding as I do so.

Axel raises a fiery brow. "Who's that by?"

"Mission Hill," I tell him. "Look it up." Roxas still hasn't answered, I notice. So I pester him. "What about you, Roxas?"

He turns furiously red.

"Pool too warm for you?" Axel snorts.

Roxas glares at him. "Shut up."

"Why don't you make me?"

"Fine, my pubes aren't the color of fire, Fire Crotch," Roxas grumbles, throwing a huge splash in Axel's direction. "Friday Night Boys—She's Finding Me Out."

And out of fucking _nowhere,_ Axel starts singing, "I'm not sick but I'm not well, and I'm so hot cuz I'm in hell!"

I join him in our own shitty rendition of Flagpole Sitta. "Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding. The cretins cloning and a feeding," I pause and point to Roxas.

He smiles at me and practically screams, "I DON'T EVEN OWN A TV!"

We all sing, "Put me in the hospital for nerves and they had to commit me. You told them all I was crazy. They cut off my legs and now I'm an amputee. GODDAMN YOU!"

Roxas and I harmonize for a few seconds on the chorus before Axel starts doing his own funky dances in the water, splashing around like a mermaid. "I'm not sick, but I'm not well. And I'm so hot cuz I'm in hell. I'm not sick, but I'm not _well_. And it's a sin to live so well!"

And then Axel breaks into screaming like that Craig Owens dude that used to be in Chiodos, "Paranoia, paranoia, everybody's coming to get me. Just say you never met me. I'm running underground with the moles, digging holes."

I hit the higher notes. "Hear the voices in my head; I swear to GOD it sounds like they're snoring. But if you're bored then you're boring. The agony and irony, they're killing me."

And like a set of best friends we all join in on the final chorus. "I'm not sick, but I'm not well. And I'm so hot cuz I'm in hell. I'm not sick, but I'm not well. And it's a sin to live so well."

At the end, Roxas jumps off the pool ladder and dives onto Axel, tackling him to the bottom of the pool. They become a fury of floating fists and splooshing kicks. I just watch them and think, _damn,_ unable to believe that I missed out on these guys this long.

* * *

Shortest chapter in this story thus far and you have my apologies; I'm extremely rushed for time. And just because I need to add this, I don't any of the songs mentioned or the lyrics to Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger, even though I strongly prefer the Chiodos version. Review..? Because the next chapter is already done and coming soon. :D

Scotty


	5. Chauncey and Theodore

**Five  
**_Chauncey and Theodore_

"Y'know, as much as I love hauling shit around Axel's house, I didn't plan on getting a workout today," I inform Roxas. We're helping Axel move into the master bedroom while his parents are out of town.

He had said, "They won't know the difference. It don't matter where they fuck 's long as they're fuckin'." He had rolled his eyes. "Horny parents_… _freaky," he muttered.

And that's how Roxas and I got dragged into this: we were both available, Axel was ready, and he needed help. I'm not his maid, but for some reason he's paying me for my work and not Roxas. Maybe it's a best friend thing? Not the point, though. Point is I'm out of the house, away from my bitchy grandmother Maleficent for the day. Oh how I wish she wasn't such a bitch! I don't like living with her at _all_ if you haven't noticed. The Savastano side of my family is way cooler.

"Don't complain, Naminé; it only fuels Axel's desire to torture us," Roxas grumbles, setting a box filled with Axel's clothes down in the master bedroom down the hall.

I place a similar, smaller box right next to it. The room already has a dresser in it—Axel's dresser now, since his parents' stuff is 'out the window' as he said—and the closet is cleared out, waiting to have hoodies and skinny pants hung up in its depths. The room is relatively large; it's at least _twice_ the size of Axel's old room. According to him his parents hardly had anything in there anyway so they didn't need all the space. _He_ on the other hand needed room for his basketball and track trophies and medals, his numerous pairs of shoes, and his army of hair-care products.

"Don't stop working, kiddos, got it memorized!" Axel yells up the stairs obnoxiously.

_Swear to God I'ma punch 'im out._

"I'm calling my parents to keep them out of the house longer," he tells us. "Five bucks to the best excuse as to why they shouldn't come home."

Roxas and I exchange challenging facial expressions. We stare at the door before racing down the stairs, shoving each other into the wall and yelling insults as we descend.

"Faggot! It's mine!" I yell at Roxas over our thunderous footsteps.

"Whore, you already get paid enough!" Roxas retorts, shoving me into the railing. I hit it, making an _oof _sound_._ His face turns concerned for a moment. "You okay?"

"Yep," I lie. _My ribs hurt like a bitch, but that's perfectly fine because it was you, you stupid tool bag. _

We slam through the open doorway into the kitchen, hitting opposite walls. Axel gives us weird looks. We glare back.

"Five bucks?" Roxas double-checks, raising a blond brow.

Axel grins and nods. "Yeah, five bucks to whoever gives me the best excuse starting…" he pauses dramatically, watching the clock. "Starting _now!_"

"You have your girlfriend over!" Roxas suggests.

"Nope," Axel dismisses it. "What girlfriend? They'd want to meet her anyway."

"You're trying to sleep and don't want to listen to them go at it!"

"They don't care."

"You're jacking off!"

"HELL NO!" Axel screams. He yanks at his hair to calm down. I snicker. He notices and gives me a wry smirk. "What about you, Naminé? You want five bucks?"

I purse my lips and think for a moment._ I thought fer sure the jacking off would be the winner… _I look around the kitchen then snap my fingers in a genius moment. "OH! I got it. You should tell them you have a surprise for them but it's not ready yet!"

Axel taps his chin. "It's not a lie… yet not quite the truth…" He grabs both sides of my face and plants a kiss on my forehead playfully. I blush. He pulls a fiver out of his pocket and shoves it in the front pocket of my shorts. "Brilliant, Naminé," he praises, running to the other room and dialing his phone.

I roll my eyes in Roxas' direction. "Want to go back to moving shit?"

"Thought you'd never ask," he groans, trailing up the stairs steadily behind me, feet making _thuds_ as we go up. "How did you even get dragged into doing this with us?"

I shrug as I drag a box from the hallway into Axel's old room; I think it's his mom's lingerie (ick) and his dad's chew toys (EW). Now that I think about it, how _did_ I get dragged into this?

"I don't… really… know," I tell him.

"UGH! I can't carry all this shit," he suddenly whines. I peek out the door to see him referring to the overstuffed cardboard box his arms are wrapped around. I raise an eyebrow. "And the _shirt_," he complains, noting how his button-down shirt the color of his beautiful eyes has come completely undone since we got back upstairs. I have a _sweet_ view of his lean body. You have no idea how much I just want to run my hands over it and feel it and touch him and…

What am I saying? I already decided I didn't like him.

_Yeeeah, too bad your head and your stupid-ass heart say two entirely different things, eh?_

Yeah.

Too bad…

"Can you button this for me?" Roxas asks sheepishly, glancing between me and his shirt.

You have got to be kidding me.

I turn redder than a tomato. Then I become the color of a cherry.

And finally I'm as red as Axel's hair!

"You can't just do it yourself?" I ask Roxas, refusing to look at him. Something about this is demeaning and freaky and awkward and _sexy_ and… Wait, what was that about sexy?

Ah well. Must not be important.

Roxas frowns. "What, you wanna keep looking?"

I roll my eyes. "You say that as if I have a view," I scoff.

He sighs. "Are you gonna pretend you don't or are you going to help me out?"

I turn around to face him and stick my tongue out. "Are you gonna pretend you're not an ass?"

He smirks. "Hardee har-har," he exaggeratedly, sarcastically laughs. I fold my arms. "I don't recall ever being an ass. Do you recall having one?"

"Gee, thanks!"

"No problem."

I give him a nasty glare.

He sighs. "You know I love you," he says, voice _oozing_ an eye-roll. I find myself blushing. "Now are you going to help me or what?"

I lament melodramatically. "Sure, why not."

I observe his position, trying to figure how to do this as un-awkwardly as possible. I suggest he keep his arms on the box but rest it on something like the large étagère's lowest level. He obeys. Before I notice that I _am_ in fact about to make this awkward, I crawl up under the gap between him and the box. I stand up.

Small gap, lemme tell ya.

Our faces are _so close_ to touching. My breath hitches. Our eyes lock. His face flushes. He accidentally stumbles, pushing our bodies closer together. Ha. I find it interesting that he's just as nervous as I am.

"So," I casually say, "the shirt," I remind him.

"Oh, right. Sorry…" he mumbles.

I carefully tilt my head down, place my fingers on the first button. I fumble with all of them as I go all the way up until one button is left. Not gonna lie, I like the view without it done. Cramped, I pat his chest, implying my being done.

"All good," I tell him. Then the weirdest thing happens. Something pokes me in the leg. I'm like, WTF! I don't like that shit. I don't have a pet, so I don't understand the endearing looks they earn when they act stupid. But when I look down, it's not a pet… well it's not _exactly_ a pet…

_Someone has a haaaard-ooon!_

"Ah!" he gasps, jumping away like I'm on fire, letting go of the box completely. It falls to the floor beside me, dumping out all Axel's parents' kinky shit. "I'm so sorry!" He turns away and starts cursing under his breath. "I'm uh… sorry, Naminé. _Shit_ that's embarrassing!" He runs a hand through his hair.

"Hey, Rox, it's okay," I assure him, patting his lower back friendlily. "You're not the first guy to get a boner for a pretty girl." His back goes rigid. "Hey, don't go hard on me," I snicker. "Get it? _Hard-on_? It's funny because-"

"Yeah, I know I have one. Ha. Ha. HA. You are just _too_ hilarious," he deadpans.

"God, don't be such a stiff," I mutter, trying not to laugh.

"What was that about being stiff, Roxy?" Axel asks, walking in at a perfectly choice moment.

"You have no idea," I tell him, pointing shiftily at Roxas' situation.

Axel cracks up. He wipes tears from his eyes. "Aw, are _Wallace_ and _Gromit_ begging to come out and play?" he sneers.

I assume he's referring to Roxas' left and right nut.

"You named them?" I ask, directing my question at a seething Roxas.

"…No," he bites, "Axel did."

I snort a laugh. "Like he has the right to poke fun!" Roxas raises a brow and looks over his icy shoulder at me. "I named his-"

"NO!" Axel screams. "DON'T! IT'LL DISRUPT THE EARTH'S BALANCE!"

_Oh he's squrmin' now._

"What's a matter, Axel? Don't want to tell your pal the names of your _special little friends_?" I tease, putting special emphasis on _special_ and _little_.

Axel scoffs. "They ain't _little_, girl." He crosses his arms over his chest, trying to appear masculine.

Roxas noticeably brightens at his friend's demise. He looks completely pleased at being able to rag on Axel for something instead of the other way around. "Humor me," he snaps at Axel. Then he looks at me pleadingly. "Come on, Namine. Tell me..?"

He pouts.

I lose.

I tilt my head innocently and look back at Axel. "Humor me too," I suggest wryly, smirking. "Show us _just how big_ Chauncey and Theodore are!"

Roxas bursts into laughter. "_Chauncey_ and _Theodore?_" he sniggers. "Way to be a faggot, man!"

"Shut it, Woody," Axel hisses through grit teeth.

Roxas flushes and rubs his arm sheepishly. He chuckles uncomfortably as if to say, "about that…"

The room goes quiet after that. For a long minute none of say anything.

_Awkward silence…_

I clap my hands and rub them together. I inhale. "So…" I quickly and enthusiastically ask, "Who's up for lunch?"

Roxas and Axel smile in agreement. I beam.

_The fastest way to a guy's heart is totally through his stomach._

_Or maybe his dick…_

_Nah, it's the stomach._

"Fucking _starved_," Axel groans, patting his flat abdominal area.

"Ditto," Roxas grouses.

I throw an arm lazily around Roxas' shoulder and lean into him, resisting the urge to peek down. Something about the wood in his pants is making me _hor-ny. _

Psh. Me and my silly teenage libido… Know what I mean?

"Burger King on me sound good?" Axel suggests. I shake my head fervently. He raises an eyebrow. "What?"

"BK on _me_ sounds _way_ friggen better!" I squeal. I don't miss Roxas' arm wrapping snugly around my waist, his fingers fiddling with my shirt playfully.

"Looks like the pretty girl wants to stay on mah good side, Rox!" Axel happily claims. He races out the door. "Damn, this is the first winning lotto ticket you've got in like, _ever_! I'm driving!" he yells.

"Dibs shotgun!" I call after him, tapping my nose.

Roxas groans. He sways into me, pulling me into his arms. "Damn. I wanted to play with the radio, too."

I smirk. "Then that's just too damn bad. I've got control."

"You know what, Naminé? You're awesome. Have I told you that?" he whispers against my lips. He intentionally presses his forehead to mine, making sure our noses ghost over each other. It's perfect. That's what this is. I wanted this for the longest time and now I have it. So soon, too! I mean, normally I would freak about not knowing someone that well before being close to them, but then again… I've known Roxas since elementary school.

Sort-of… But that's not the point.

"Mm… Thanks…" I hum. My eyes slip shut, lips part in relaxation with a sigh. It's because something in this moment has turned from silly to sensual, quick to quiet.

I'm left defenseless.

"Mind if I try something?" he requests. I nod subtly. I feel my hat parting from my head. My eyes shoot open in panic. Roxas hushes me. "Ssh… Nothing bad is going to happen. You're safe."

I blink. The concept confuses me. "I'm…safe?"

My wall, my protection, my special barrier I used to create confidence, hide behind, and keep the truth inside has been thrown aside like a pair of old socks.

And I'm left defenseless.

"With me you are. That much I promise," he declares gently. He locks his fingers in my hair before recommending that I don't wear the hat. He says, "The vulnerable look works for you."

"It doesn't feel like it does," I mention.

"YO, DANNY AND SANDY," Axel screams from downstairs. "IF YOU'RE DONE SINGIN' SHOWTUNES, GET DOWN HERE! I'M HUNGRY!"

I—out of sudden reaction, not better judgment—shove Roxas away. He stumbles, yelps before almost falling. "Roxas!" I squeal, grabbing his arm and pull, causing him to fall in my direction and push me to the floor so he doesn't hit it.

"Naminé, what the hell!" he yells at the back of my head, seeing as I fell face down in defeat.

"Eep!" I squeak, scrambling to put my hat back on. "Sorry…"

He huffs as he sits up, making sure he helps me up, as well. "Jesus fucking Christ, Nam; why did you do that? You could've gotten hurt!"

I blush. _Aw. He cares._

"Just… Don't do it again, got it? I don't care if I get hurt. Besides, it'd make me look like a shit if I let something happen to you," he grumbles, rising to his feet. He holds a hand out. I take it. "Get up." He pulls me hard.

My mind is still reeling with boner jokes.

"Thanks," I mutter, heading out the door. Then I look over my shoulder at his reddening face. "By the way…" I wink. "Shotgun spot's mine, bitch!" And he chases me out to the car.

-(NC)-

I shove Axel into the wall agitatedly. "Dude, are you_ ever _going to order? I'm not getting any less hungry," I remind him, scowling. Roxas and I share the same facial expression- agitation directed at Axel.

"Shaddup, will ya?" His eyes glued to the large, illuminated menu above the counter. "Things like this take time," he insists.

"Five minutes not five hours, Ax," Roxas says, glaring at all of the floppy spikes atop Axel's head bouncing into Roxas' face when Axel moves. He swats them away like you would a fly. "And do something about the rat's nest, would you? You over-gel way too much."

"I have a hair brush," I tell him, volunteering my black hairbrush with a plastic blue gem on either side of the handle. It's in my small ersatz purse… satchel… whatever. Satchel makes more sense. So I volunteer my black hairbrush with a plastic blue gem on either side of the handle. It's in my small satchel.

"Give it here," Roxas orders. He holds out his hand. I set the brush in it. For the brief moment our fingers touch, a jolt goes through mine and races down my spine to my feet, causing me to jump a little in startle. "Thanks. _Ooh Axel,_" he drawls, sneaking to the other side of said flamer.

Axel whips around, getting hit in the head with the prongs of my brush. He yelps. Roxas starts yanking the brush through red locks. Axel screams. His hair must be chlorinated from the swim yesterday. That would explain why it hurts him so much.

Watching him writhe is funny.

"Get that thing out of my hair!" Axel shouts, reaching to pull the brush out of his hair. Roxas releases it, but Axel doesn't realize that the brush stayed and is now hanging from his knots, making him look like a sped. "Thank you," he grumbles. He turns to the cashier and starts to order.

I snicker and look at Roxas. "Nice work, right?" he asks. Something about the tone of the voice makes him sound like he's really searching for my approval.

_What could he want with my approval?_

"Yeah, you did great. His hair looks _fabulous_," I vivaciously drawl, purposely sounding like a fag. I flip my hand. "Mm, he can borrow my brush _any day_." Roxas smiles. "By brush, I mean my dick—my _gigantic_ dick. I just want to shove it right up his—"

"Are you going to order?" the petite girl with a bitchy face at the cash register asks. "You're holding up the line."

I keep up my gay voice and glare at her. "Listen, missy. I'm not going to deal with you and your stupid straight-girl shit and pretend that I don't have feelings for this beautiful redhead right here." Axel's eyes are wide, gleaming with mischief and embarrassment at the same time. Roxas is trying not to laugh. "I love him and I want to spend the rest of my life with him." I slide down onto one knee. "Will you give me Chauncey and Theodore for the rest of your life?"

"What the hell," the counter girl grumbles, rubbing her forehead. I glance at her tag to read it. So her name is _Ashly_, huh?

"Hey… Ashly… Where's the _e_ in your name?" I ask her, standing up.

She raises an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"Your name should have an _e_ in it. Where is it?"

She gives me a disgusted, queer look. "My name doesn't have an _e_ in it."

"They didn't want to spend a couple extra cents to put the _e_ in? Come on, that's not even cool!" I exasperate. I turn dramatically to Roxas. I grip his shoulders and passionately stare into his eyes (not on purpose, it just kind of happened!) as I shake his shoulders. "BURGER KING MISTREATS THEIR EMPLOYEES!"

"Can someone please get her out of here?" Ashly calls to no one in particular behind the counter.

I stare at her with the biggest puppy eyes I can muster, pleading for pity. "But… I've been working all day and I haven't eaten since last night. Do you _know_ what time it is? It's four pm. Four pm. Four o clock in the damn afternoon and I'm hungry and I've been putting up with these two all day!" I yell in Ashly's face, motioning to Axel and Roxas.

"Hey!" they whine in unison.

I shoot them a secret smile. "You know I love you," I whisper. Axel beams and winks. Roxas blushes and sharply stalks away, guiding Axel to a spot a couple feet back. "Anyway!" I turn back to Ashly. "What right do you have to deprive me of food? I thought your motto was '_Have it your way'_! Well if I was getting it my way right now I'd be getting fucked on this counter your dirty hands are contaminating!"

"Someone PLEASE get her out of here!" Ashly pleads.

"GIVE IT TO ME MY WAY!" I demand, slamming my hand down on the counter.

"GO AWAY!" Ashly screams.

"MAKE ME!" I scream back reaching over to choke her. Before I can wrap my hands around her pale throat, Roxas grabs both of my arms and restrains me. "Let me go! Let me go!" I cry as he drags me out of the restaurant.

Axel grabs his bag off the counter, presuming his meal is in it. He nods at Ashly and smiles apologetically. "Sorry about that. She has a week and a half to live."

Ashly's eyes go wide. "Oh… I'm sorry. It doesn't give her an excuse to disturb the peace, but…"

Axel shakes his head. "Nope, it's not your fault. She's just trying to get noticed in her last days of life."

"That… That's sad," Ashly quietly says with a frown. "Tell her I wish her the best."

"Yeah, I will. Tell your boss I'm sorry she flipped a shit."

"Oh, it's no trouble. I'll make sure he doesn't find out."

Axel winks at her. "Thanks. You're a doll."

She turns pink and looks away. All this I saw from the parking lot. Roxas is apparently great at reading lips. He used a feminine voice for Axel and a deep one for Ashly. Roxas smiles at me.

"See? It all worked out. We just can't go to this Burger King ever again," he proposes. "With you, anyway," he adds.

I nod and laugh. "Looks like I only have a week and a half to live." I notice that's peculiarly the amount of time until I have to go back to New Hampshire. "Ha. I go home in a week and a half," I tell Roxas.

I think I see his eyes water. He says, "Really, that soon? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why didn't you ask?" I retort, folding my arms over my chest. "It's not like you can just come up and visit me, right? Not that I would mind if you did or anything," I grumble, leaning against Axel's Camry.

Roxas' eyes flash. His frown curls into a suggestive smirk.

"Oh God, what's that look for?"

"Nothing, nothing," he innocently says, shaking his head. "What if I _did_ come up for a couple weeks?"

I try not to imagine him and me lying on my bed watching TV or playing videogames or talking. I try not to imagine him on my bed in general. Other than that, wouldn't his coming to visit be great? We're decent friends now; better than I ever thought we would be for sure. I'm hanging out with him and he's asking to come up and visit me? Awesome! I think it's awesome! I love this. I've almost completely forgotten that I like him so much I could hurl.

I blush and grin at him, hoping it touches my eyes. "We'd have a blast," I assure him. "Go places, do things…"

_And do each other…_

"And do each other?" Roxas offers playfully. He winks and nudges me with his elbow. I shove him teasingly. He laughs. "I was just kidding!"

"Could've fooled me, kink," I snort. He stands next to me, leaning against the car. I find myself leaning onto him, resting my head on his shoulder. His arm wraps around my waist. And I'm hoping I'm not getting played, but it's starting to feel like we're slightly more than friends.

Yep. I feel pretty special.

* * *

Even my mom liked this chapter with all the Roxas victimizing. So if you don't, I will most likely cry. Just remember that.  
Because the last chapter got good reception and I already have six mostly written, I figured I'd do back-to-back updates to be a good authoress :D

Scotty


	6. wtf?

**Six  
**_…wtf?_

"Is disco ever going to make a comeback?" Axel asks, staring deep into the night sky. His hands are planted firmly on the porch table, his feet dangling off the edge.

Roxas is lying down on the long bench with a leg hanging off either side suggestively. I'm sitting somewhat between his legs with a leg on either side, facing his direction with my hands resting in front of me, about a foot from his no-no zone. Awkward? Somewhat. I can feel heat coming off of his body, traveling through the air. It feels… pretty damn nice.

"What a waste of a question," I snort, shoving Axel playfully. He tips a little, but doesn't move much.

"I have six more, I'm fine. So is disco gonna make a comeback or not?"

I purse my lips. "Eighties metal did. Disco might as well."

Roxas adds, "Eighties metal never died, dude."

"Shut up, it so did," I argue, "In the nineties when Nirvana was the shit."

"Cobain died before they had a chance to _be_ the shit."

"You're retarded, Roxas. You, are _fucking_ retarded,"

"Yeah, you love it," he drawls, reaching out and lightly drawing circles on my wrist with the tip of his finger. I start to blush and to stop it I twist my wrist and grip his hand in my own. He mutters, "Told you."

"What's the _most retarded_ thing to happen to you recently…" Axel pauses, holds up a finger. "That _isn't_ Roxas," he finishes.

I wave my hand in a dumbass attempt to get his attention. He raises an eyebrow. I hold out my hands like I'm trying to steady myself. "So I'm watching the Angry Videogame Nerd complaining about the CD-I on YouTube and I'm cracking up, but my uncle walks in right at the part where he goes, 'time to drop some f-bombs!' and starts swearing his ass off. And then my uncle tells me to turn it off because it's vulgar."

Roxas snorts. "It's like he hasn't turned on the TV since ninety-nine…"

"Exactly!"

"Agreed," Axel declares, nodding.

I angrily clench my fist and punch the bench, causing it to shake. "And you know the worst part?" The two guys look at me expectantly. "He loves the movie _Dumb and Dumber-er_ and he's seen _My Cousin Vinny_ twelve times. He calls the nerd dude vulgar?" I scoff. "What a joke."

Things go quiet for the next few seconds. It feels like five minutes, not thirty seconds. The only sounds are the chirping of crickets and the soft lapping of the pool against the side in the nighttime wind.

"So… have you ever been in love?" Axel asks out of fucking nowhere dreamily. His hair is pushed back and hanging behind him limply from the dampness. "I mean, the only person I've ever been in love with is my _sweet, beautiful Roxy_."

The only person I've ever been in love with is his "sweet, beautiful Roxy." How do you tell someone that? God, my face is burning up. I don't want them to know. This is definitely _not_ the time or the way for me to confess my feelings for him. I don't think I ever will, either, so it doesn't matter anyway, does it?

I just shake my head. "I pass."

"Aw, come on Nam. Don't be such a stick-in-the-mud," Axel pleads, trying to give me this puppy-dog look. For the record, it doesn't work for him at all. He's too… I dunno. I guess I consider him too masculine for something that childish.

I shrug innocently. "I don't see the big deal. Why does ever being in love matter anyway? God, I'm not even old enough to drive and you think I've been in love?"

Roxas points out, "Young love, y'know? It just grabs you by the throat and chokes you to death."

Axel beams and waggles his eyebrows at his beguilingly situated friend. "You've so been in love."

"Nu-uh…"

"Dude, I'm your best friend. You tell me everything."

"Faggot. I don't tell you _everything_…"

"You don't have to." All serious Axel says, "Your eyes give it away."

Roxas shoots up, almost hitting me in the face with his head. I lean back a little farther so he doesn't. Thank fuzz. That'd be embarrassing.

"Aw, Roxy's in love?" I tease, pulling my hand from his at last and poking his forehead. "Who's the lucky girl?"

"No one."

"Lies!"

"I'm not lying!" he exasperates.

"You're SO lying!"

"Am not."

"Are too!"

"I am not lying."

"You are! You have to be!"

"I'm not in love, dammit!"

"Gawd, you're just like Sora!"

"Who the hell is Sora?"

"YOU'RE SO DUMB!" I yell much louder than anticipated.

At the best time in the world, too; a cop car is right outside my uncle's front door. I can see the flashing lights and I can see his flashlight. Oh. Shit. Not good. Roxas is opening his mouth to retort, but I clasp my hand over it. Axel gives me a look. I nod in the direction of the fence. He peeks over from his position and notices. His eyes go wide. I mouth for him to get down. He quietly climbs off of the table as I drag Roxas down the steps inaudibly. He struggles against me and it starts to get really annoying.

"Hey!" the police officer out front yells at us. He can't know for sure whether we're here or not though. "Who's there?"

And with that, Roxas' struggle against me stops entirely. He willingly follows me down the stone path, past the pool, and toward the back fence with Axel sidling against the green brick garage close behind. I direct them toward the further-most point of the fence. I beckon for Axel to come closer and give me his cell. He passes it to me. I look down at the screen. Good. The volume's off.

I have a plan.

I release Roxas and I tell them, "In the corner there's a small gap. You should be able to fit through it. It takes you into my grandma's backyard. Whatever you do, don't get caught. I'll handle this here." I hear the gate rattle. To throw off the officer I add, "YOU BURN IN HELL!"

"What, you're just going to throw yourself under the gun?" Axel hisses as I shove him and Roxas in the direction of the gap in the fences.

I nod. "Just do it. I don't need any more run-ins with the police than I already have," I hiss. "I'LL SEE YOU THERE, BITCH!"

I glare down at the phone in my hand and head cautiously back toward the front. The police officer is standing there with his small white flashlight aimed right at my face. He's way taller than me and his chest is bulky. His skin is dark. Geez, not this guy again. This is the third or fourth time he's tried to get me for disturbing the peace. When he realizes it's me, he sighs.

"Naminé Cruise…" He shakes his head impatiently. "You'd think that after an eighth incident you'd give it up."

I grin sheepishly. "What can I say? I'm trouble with a capital T-R-U-E."

He tilts his head. "T…R…U…E? What about the other letters?"

I nod. "True. I'm true. The other letters don't spell anything."

"…Right. I heard some cacophonous screaming from this house and recognized the source. What was it this time? Another break-up or is your grandmother calling in a grocery shop?"

I sigh deeply. "You have no idea." And I start telling this ridiculous story about why I was screaming. You don't want to hear it… Wait, you do? Okay. I tell total bullshit to the officer. I say that, "I'm swimming all chill n shit and all of a sudden my phone rings. So I get out of the pool to answer it and it's my best friend calling me a bitch, saying that I started dating our other friend without telling him first. And we _always_ promised that we wouldn't date within the friend-circle without telling each other first so we wouldn't ruin the flow. Anyway, Sora's yelling at me for no reason – because I _didn't_ start dating Riku for the love of fudger nutters – and he has the nerve to call me a liar just because I happen to be on vacation at the same time as Riku and he says I fucked Riku behind his back and I'm like, dude I can't fuck a guy behind his back because I don't have a dick. And then Sora's like, I could've fooled him. What kind of shit is that? It's not cool. You know how it is when your friend accuses you of dating another friend and he just flips a shit on you. Sora isn't even gay, either. He's liked my sister for as long as I can remember. It's just… gay. It's gayer than gay. It's so gay it's… It's a dude in a pink Hollister shirt."

The police officer (his name is Officer Squall by the way) had nodded in all the right places. I think he actually bought it! Oh yeah. Score one me! Score Law Enforcement: NONE. ZERO. NADA.

Put _that_ in a juice box and suck it.

Squall now just shakes his head. I raise an eyebrow. What was my flaw? Where was the mistake in my story? It made perfect sense! Damn it. This _would_ happen to me.

"And I was so close to trusting you this time, too," he mutters, rubbing his temples. "I can't believe I almost believed that."

I sigh in defeat. _Yep. It _did_ happen to me._ "Can you at least tell me where I screwed up?"

Squall pulls a small yellow notepad from his pocket and flips through it. He drags his finger halfway down one of the pages and hums in assurance. My eyebrows shoot up higher. What did he find?

"I recall you telling me previously that Sora is a 'total sweetheart' and would 'never say a bad thing about anyone.'"

"You don't _recall _that! You're taking _notes_ on me now? Come on, do I really cause that much trouble?"

"Yes," Squall simply says, patting me on the shoulder. "As a matter of fact you do."

I hang my head and grumble. "Un-fucking-cool," I mutter under my breath.

Squall ruffles the pale blonde hair on the top of my head. He bends down to my eye level and stares straight through me. "You should really learn to watch your mouth."

"You're asking too much of me."

"Yeah," Squall sighs. He stands up straight and backs down the sidewalk toward the gate. "I'm giving you another warning. I can't keep letting you get away with these little disturbances of yours," he informs me. "I can only cover you for so long, kiddo."

I pout. "Yeah, I know. Sucks, don't it?"

-(NC)-

"So are we gonna finish our game?" Axel asks as he returns to his post on the porch's table. We're all back to the way we were before Squall took it upon himself to interrupt us. "Roxas never finished telling us about him being _in love_!"

Roxas groans. "Really? I thought we were past that."

I shake my head excitedly. "Nope, not exactly—we still want to hear _all about_ the lucky girl!"

His mop of blonde hair is static clinging to his form, face shadowed by his poufy bangs that are dry compared to the rest of him. His eyes are glued to Axel, shooting a distress signal in his friend's direction. His electrical, blue eyes are dancing with… fear maybe?

As if he's figured it out, Axel makes an O with his thin lips. "_Her_? I thought you liked the girl that's kind of like her."

Roxas' face contorts. "No, it's the first girl. They're way different anyway."

"_Du-ude_, I never would've guessed. That's like, the twist of the century!"

"I know, right?"

"Who are we talking about..?" I ask, feeling like one of the geeky kids left out of an inside joke.

Axel hushes me. "So you like the first girl? The other one is _way_ better though! What do you see in her?"

"I don't know. I just do. Maybe it's the eyes," Roxas blandly admits, shrugging it off.

"Who?" I ask, desperately wanting to be part of the conversation. I like knowing these things. How dare they leave me out?

"Their eyes are the same. The second girl is way hotter anyway. At least she has substance," Axel argues. Then he adds, "Maybe it's my preference for blondes to redheads."

Why does it sound like they're talking about Kairi and me? What if they are? That would be mortifying. That would be so disturbingly mortifying.

Axel rolls his eyes in my direction. "Naminé, have you ever heard of a girl named Yuna that goes to the school you used to?" When he says this, Roxas looks oddly relieved. "Yuna has this pal named Rikku and I kind of like her, but Roxas – who usually doesn't go for girls like Rikku who are genuine and real - goes for girls like Yuna who are stereotypical to say the least. The point is, even though I kinda like Rikku I know he'd be awesome with her and I _know for a fact_ he likes her, he won't admit to it because a this 'not my type' bull. And for the record, Rox," Axel pauses to glower down at Roxas, who looks really upset. "Rikku is fucking amazing and if you don't make a move, _I will_."

They share a few seconds of glaring.

Maybe I shouldn't be disappointed that they were talking about Yuna and Rikku instead of Kairi and me. It would be awkward if either of them liked us anyway, right?

Then why does it hurt deep in my heart? Why does it make me sick to my stomach thinking of Roxas liking another girl? I think I'm going to throw up… The very thought of him loving… liking someone else makes me want to die. I like him for so long but at the end of the day it means nothing? How pointless is that? Maybe it's about time I give up. Maybe I should stop pretending that I might mean something to him. This is just some stupid summer thing where he messes with the head of a geeky girl. Psh. _Awesome_ my fucking ass. I don't mean anything to him. And both of them just shoved it in my face.

My heart just broke into two large chunks and both crashed down onto my diaphragm, nearly knocking all the breath out of me. I don't even want to breathe. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry like the pathetic teenage girl I am. Once both of them are gone and I'm back in grandma Maleficent's house after carefully sneaking in, I _do _curl up in a ball and I _do_ cry like the pathetic teenage girl I am.

* * *

Ugh. Shame on Roxas for liking a girl other than Nams. But you know they weren't _reaaally_ talking about the FFX kids. Just saying. So decode it from there.

A very un-funny chapter. But that's okay. Sorry for the extreme wait. :(

Scotty


	7. Something Good Out of Something Bad

**Seven  
**_Something good outta something shit… and then back to shit again._

Kairi slurps down her chocolate McDonald's milkshake slowly, making a show out of the way her lips fit perfectly around the straw. It kind of looks like she's giving it head, much to my disgust. Why I chose to sit across from her I don't even know. I could've sat a completely different table. Me, on the other hand—_I_ drink my vanilla milkshake quickly, purposely trying to give myself brain freeze.

It feels cool. So sue me.

When the shock hits my gums, I scream. "Holy fucking shit out a donkey's ass on a Cadillac in summer of sixty fucking four! SHIT!" I press my thumb to the roof of my mouth. People stare.

Kairi, embarrassed, hangs her head. Her hair blankets her face. "Shut _up_ Nam. People are staring!"

I snort. "You think I don't know that?" My phone vibrates in my pocket. I reach in and pull it out. A text from Axel is waiting for me. "_Axel_?" I wonder aloud, hitting VIEW.

_Hey girrrl what's good? ;P_

Ignoring Kairi's complaining about my inappropriate public behavior, I respond to my pal.

_Hangin with Kairi, being bored out my ass, n all that good stuff. :P cool, right? What up with you?_

"You know what your problem is, Nam?" Kairi asks pointing one of her perfectly done-up nails directly at my nose. I lean back a little and slap her fingers away. "You're disgustingly crass. You could probably get a boyfriend if you weren't so… gross…"

I roll my eyes. "Do I look like I care whether I'm crass or gross or whatever? Because honestly Kairi, I don't. I don't care."

"And that's the exact attitude that will be your downfall, dear sister of mine." Kairi slams her hand down on the table. She snaps her fingers and claps once, too.

Phone buzzes. I look down at my newest Axel text.

_Basketball with Rox then this party tonight that you are now cordially invited to ;)  
But you have to bring Kairi, too. :|_

I groan at the message.

"Excuse me, Nams. I am _trying_ to help you here," Kairi sneers, waving her drink around like she knows where it's at.

She don't know where it's it. I _know_ she don't know where it's at. I'm like that bitch from _Bad Girls Club_. I run LA! Maybe not LA, but… I run Cleveland! Wait, I can run Lower Akron!

Fuck yeah, I run LA!

I respond to Axel, trying to ignore Kairi's snarky comment.

_…ew…you sure you want me to bring It along?_

And within the next ten seconds I have a light-speed response leaving me wondering, "How does he do that?" quietly aloud.

"What was that?" Kairi asks, trying to look over the edge of the table to see my phone. I hide it deeper between my legs so she won't want to look.

_Wasn't my place to say. Personally i wouldnt touch her with a ten foot pole. ._

I snort. Funny, Axel—neither would I. I have to though because I'm related to her. Somehow. By some mystical force of Hell that wants me to suffer.

_Lawl. I can see why. Ok we'll be there._

"Come on, tell me!" Kairi whines.

"Will you just shut up?" I snap.

She looks taken aback and I don't care one bit.

I get another text from Axel. It's typed all seriously.

_Look hot, but not too hot. I wouldn't want someone to steal my Nami-time ;)_

And then I start blushing. Kairi starts whining again. I glare at her. "Will you just leave me alone? Please? I'm trying to have a conversation with someone."

"So am I, but you're completely ignoring me!" she exasperates, setting her cup on the table. She clenches her fist. "Nami this isn't fair. You don't even talk to me at all anymore. What happened to us?"

I shake my head at her and feel my heart sink. There is nothing I can say to her. I grab my own vanilla milkshake and rise to my feet. "We're going to a party tonight at some local dude's house. Axel will text you the address." I head off toward the exit of McDonalds.

Kairi squeals after me, "Wait, where… why are you going? How will you get home?"

I don't tell her I hate her being the favorite child.

I don't tell her I hate being the outcast.

I don't tell her that I hate what she's become since she hit puberty.

My heart squeezes. _We're supposed to be sisters… But to me you're nothing more than a ghost—a ghost of my sister. _I hold on to my milkshake tighter, crinkling the cup a little.

"Somewhere," I ambiguously tell her, pushing the door open. "I took my bike, remember?" I kick the glass open the rest of the way and walk outside into the summer heat.

_TO: Axel, Roxas_

_hey guys! guess who's taking you guys out before the game? me! meet me at my uncle's house, okii? i got plans for you two ;)_

-(NC)-

The look on Axel and Roxas' faces are priceless when we arrive at the karaoke bar in the center of Middleburg Heights. Their jaws are slack, their eyes are wide, and Axel looks scared shitless.

"Karaoke…" they muse in fear aloud at the same time.

I nod proudly. "Yep. You, me, Dupree, and karaoke."

"You have got to be kidding me," Roxas groans, hanging his head.

I shake my head. "Nope. And you guys have to sing too."

Roxas repeats, louder and whinier, "You have _got_ to be kidding me."

I shake my head again and pat him on the back. "Nope. No jokes here. It's us, the mike, and a hundred and twenty seven other people."

Axel wraps an arm around my shoulder and slings one around Roxas'. "Come on, kiddo. Don't be such a spoil sport. You know how to _siiing!_ This should be a good male-and-Nams bonding experience!"

_Oh buddy you have no idea._

-(NC)-

Fifteen minutes after we get there I'm wasted.

Sixteen minutes after we get there we've already heard a fat guy belt out _Dude Looks Like A Lady, _a familiar-looking spunky teenage girly-boy sing _Hurricane Streets_, and some faggot attempting to rap _Not Afraid_ by Eminem. Dude. No one shows up Eminem.

NO ONE.

AT ALL.

EVER.

I decide to show everyone up in the midst of my drunkenness. I mean, I can sing. I actually have a _damn_ good voice but I'm going to waste it on an A Day To Remember song from _For Those Who Have Heart_ called _Monument_. It's a song that's really personal to me. It's almost like the song that tells my life story. Or it tells about how I feel constantly.

And I can't help but love Ohio for having a karaoke bar with ADTR songs available.

I grab the microphone, ruffle my hair, and set my hat on the barstool behind me. I push the chair away and bring the microphone to my lips. Everyone is staring at me. And you know what? I'm not nervous at all. I don't get stage fright. I don't care that I'm preforming in front of Roxas; I preform in plays before my eight-hundred population high school as the star so a hundred-something people isn't going to bother me. I smile and find myself moving to the music as it starts playing.

Like the pro I am I lower my voice a little in an effortless, smooth way so I sound a little more like a guy so I can sing, "It's Monday morning and I would kill for a chance to drive. Get so far away from here with you my dear that I'll never leave your side. Nobody knows the troubles I've seen in a van, on a soapbox for the world to see."

I hold the last note a little long, hitch a breath, and continue. "Miles away and I wish this didn't mean so much to me to be a monument for the rest of them. Miles away and I wish this didn't mean so much to me to be a monument for the rest of _them_. We're getting older. I've started to fear for my life! Is this the way that it should be? This whole thing's riding on me. It's been a long road so far—with nowhere to turn. There's no looking back from here." I go deep within my throat to pull out a scream just like the band's lead singer would pull so I can keep the song sounding good. "No more dwelling on my fears! Miles away and I wish this didn't mean so much to me to be a monument for the rest of them. Miles away and I wish this didn't mean so much to me to be a monument for the rest of _them_." As the bridge kicks in, I turn it down a little and take in the people watching me. Most of them are bobbing their heads along. Some of them that look strangely familiar are head banging and dancing like dumbasses.

So I finish the final bridge and kick into the breakdown. I do another deep, throaty, bellowing growl sound, trying to mimic the way guys do it. Not a lot of girls can do this, but I can.

It's a skill.

"And I'll scream so loud that everyone in this place will hear every word I say 'cause this is MY time. This is MY time to shine. Let nothing stand in our way. Twenty bucks says you'll remember me when you see me on your TV screen. It may be the first time, but it _won't_ be the last time."

I finish by kicking over the barstool, sending my hat flying. But I'm so drunk right now I _reeeally_ don't care. How I pulled the ADTR out of my ass I don't even know. My head is pounding and I'm wasted and I'm just having a huge fucking blast.

I stumble off the stage, falling into Roxas' arms. He's waiting for me, staring at me with these admiring eyes and I could just explode with the way he's looking at me. I point to my hat and mutter something about wanting it. And someone else – probably Axel – puts it back on my head. His hands brush through my hair once in a strangely gentle… _tender_ way? _Axel_? I mean, WTF man?

I sit down on the squishy booth and throw my head back, laughing like a total Tool. "Oh my gawd that was sooooo much fun! Can I go again?"

Axel pats me on the head and slides in next to me. "No, I don't think you should Nami. That might be a bad idea."

"But _whyyyy_?" I whine, kicking my feet like a toddler. Axel throws one of his legs over mine, using me as a leg rest. "Humph." I look away and snort, grumbling about him being a party pooper.

I notice now that Roxas is up there now. And he's singing… Jesse McCartney? Why the hell Jesse McCartney? And why the hell _Beautiful Soul_? The song is pretty and all but I think that it doesn't—

Holy shit.

Holy mother of shit.

Holy mother of Jesus Christ's shit.

Roxas opens his mouth to sing and he sounds exactly. Like. Jesse. Fucking. McCartney.

Damn. What'd he drink to make his voice do that?

I nudge Axel. "Dude, since when did he sound_ just_ like Jesse McCartney?" I ask, dazed. _He sounds just like him. Oh my sugar shiz._

Axel rubs his head and sighs. "Uh… Puberty?" he guesses, shrugging. "I dunno. He just does."

I nod. _That's pretty hot…_

At the end of the song I'm halfway to tears from how silky Roxas' singing is. I never pegged him for a singer. But we all have secrets, huh? That's just a little more than shocking coming from a basketball-playing player like him. And you know the best part? He sounds just like Jesse. Fucking. McCartney. Now that I think about it his voice does sound identical to Jesse's too. And they both have blonde hair. Whoa. Freaky.

At the end of the song, I'm even closer to tears because some girl walks up and kisses him. I can't see her face because she has dark red hair that hides it. She's wearing too-short shorts, flip-flops, and a really loose, flowing camisole. And you know the worst part?

He kisses her back. He wraps his arms around her and kisses her like she's some sort of goddess.

You know what it was like watching the Twin Towers go down on nine-eleven-o-one?

Watching me crash from seeing that is far more devastating. It's like that times three. I know I've seen him go through girlfriends before and I've seen him kiss a girl before. But this? This just kills. This just tears my heart into shreds and stomps on the pieces.

Anyone have a duck I can kick in the balls?

Tears well up in my eyes. I hang my head and tilt my hat over my face. I bite my lower lip; tell myself I'm not going to cry. I'm better than this. Besides, last week I was still telling myself that I didn't like him anymore. Boy was I ever wrong. I was so wrong. I'm just going to sit in my wrongness and feel wrong about how wrong I was.

I gently push Axel's leg off my lap and pull my knees up to my chest, holding onto them, hiding my face. I keep repeating in my mind that I won't cry- that I'm better than this. Yet it feels like someone just tore my heart out. Over these past few days I've felt closer to Roxas Colton than I ever thought I would have a chance to be and now here he is, crushing my hopes. I doubt he even knew that I felt this way still. One of these days I'm going to punch him so hard in the face his teeth will end up Sandusky.

Do you know where Sandusky is?

It's an hour away—an hour and forty minutes with Cedar Point traffic. That's where he deserves to be kicked to. He deserves to have his ass kicked into next week for this. He deserves to be hurt. Badly.

Too bad I could never do that because I'll always like him. He's my first love. I _have_ to have a soft spot for him.

God fucking damn you, Roxas Colton. I hate you. I hate you so much it hurts.

"Naminé..?" Axel calls out to me quietly. I hardly hear him over my drunken state, rage, and heartbreak. All I can hear is my heart shattering into pieces. "Naminé, are you okay?"

"Of course I'm not okay!" I hiss rather loudly, bashing my head against the seatback. "That little whore just… GAH. I _need _to kick a duck in the balls. Like, now."

Axel suddenly takes one of my hands in his own. He uses his free hand to turn me to face him. His eyes flash with sadness. Why?

"Whatsa matter?" I ask him, tilting my head curiously and squeezing his hand.

"Do you want to kick the duck in the balls because that duck is you?" he asks.

I raise an eyebrow. _What's he getting at..?_

"The duck never did anything wrong. It just lived its life. And you want to go along and kick it for no reason. Have you ever thought you want to kick the duck because you're just like it? You live your life, waddling along, but someone just always comes along and kicks you." He is dead serious as he says this and usually I would be laughing hysterically. But something about right now… right here? It feels… right. And it feels proper that he would analyze me like this.

And now I feel like someone's torn me open and read me like a book.

Jade eyes peer into my soul, reaching out to it, holding its hand, inviting it to dance to the _very_ good rendition of (_You Want to) Make a Memory_ by Bon Jovi being sung in the background by an attractive male in his mid-to-late twenties.

"You're telling me I want to suffer?" I question Axel, scooting slightly closer to him, timidly reaching toward his cheek. I lightly brush over the smooth skin with shivering fingers. I push a few of his red spikes back. I wonder why he keeps his hair like this. It's off-putting. He could be even more attractive if he did something about this mess.

I then realize I was just thinking about how _hot_ Axel is—and it's not just the color of his hair.

_Am I starting to like him…? Like, _like_ him like him?_

"No… You just want someone to suffer with you because it's the only way you can think of to not be alone." He leans closer to me and whispers in my ear with cold, steady breaths, "You're not alone."

I swivel my head a little, trying to see his face. I realize just how close we are. Our noses are nearly touching. His eyes can't decide whether to stare into mine or glance down at my lips so they do both rather impulsively. My heartbeat slows down to a steady, comforting, controllable pace. Two heavy pairs of lids close as both of us find ourselves leaning in closer ever so slowly, careful as not to shatter the strange serenity we seem to have found. And I expect to feel nothing when he presses his surprisingly soft lips against my own.

I expect _wrong._ So very _wrong._ In my head I try to wallow about my wrongness but I'm too busy attempting a suppression of my urge to squeal like a teenage girl that just got her first kiss. What do I feel? I feel a certain… warmth. Yeah, that's it—it's like I've been sitting in an igloo and someone _finally_ lit a fire and it's quickly warming me up into a reasonable temperature at which I _won't _get hypothermia. I don't feel wasted anymore. I don't feel upset. I feel… I feel… God, what's the word for this? I've never felt it before. I think I feel… special. I feel like someone wants me. I don't feel so useless and worthless and miserable. All that sadness has faded away in a matter of moments.

Fuck. If I'd known kissing made you feel this good I would've become a slut a long time ago.

I pull back from Axel hesitantly. I'm not really sure what to do now because I've never kissed anyone. I look shyly into Axel's eyes. Their smile matches the one on his lips perfectly only they hint at something slightly more… longing maybe? No… it's more pleasant than that. It's… content? Yes… content sounds right.

I flinch the slightest bit away and he chuckles, kissing my cheek. I blush bright pink and I know it because I memorized how hot my cheeks get when I blush at certain levels. I find myself smiling still though.

"I've waited way too long to do that," Axel tells me, not letting go of my hand. He smiles this adorably nervous smile.

"Way too long?" I wonder.

"Yup."

"How long is too long?"

"Um… the last day of sixth grade?"

I choke on my breath, cough a little. I look at him like, _whaaa?_

"Yes," he says, nodding. "During the class picture shoot I remember exactly how four people ended up sitting—it was me, Roxas, you, and Xion. I think that Anastasia girl was on the other side of her. Anyway, I remember Roxas asking about you moving and you said that you were moving to New Hampshire. I was so upset when I heard that… I had liked you for like, the whole year and you were moving." He sighs.

I'm still about to puke from the confession that I definitely did not expect.

"I was sad, y'know? No one likes it when the person they like leaves." He smiles sadly.

I blink. "You realize I was ugly in middle school, right?"

He shakes his head. "In no ways were you. In fact, when I caught glimpses of you over summers when you visited here I couldn't believe it was possible for you to get prettier."

I blush. "T-thanks… I don't agree, but…"

He shakes his head again and smiles, more playfully than not. "You don't have to."

"Oh hi, guys!"

…The voice of the devil? Satan is here? What the hell?

I look over and see Kairi snuggled up in the arm Roxas has around her. My jaw drops.

Holy.

Fucking.

Shit.

And at this moment I decide that Kairi is going to die.

* * *

Oh yeah. Again, less funny than usual. But more ridiculous chapters are a little later. I even have a cheer for Roxas during a basketball game! :D  
1-2-3-4! Somebody please close the damn door!  
5-6-7-8! Roxy's tryin ta masturbate!  
:3  
So what'd you think of this chapter, kiddos? -pushes glassees down nose- How did it make you feel...?

Scotty


	8. Kill Me in My Sleep

**Eight  
**_Kill Me in My Sleep_

"I am going to kill you," I tell her, eyes threatening her as much as I am.

Kairi looks taken aback. "Why?"

"I am _going_ to kill you. And then I'm going to burn your body," I repeat, adding an extra threat. By the way Axel taps his fingers on my hand I guess he approves of it. I slyly pull my hand out of his and slide out of the booth smoothly.

"What are you talking about?" she exclaims, slowly wriggling out of Roxas' arm. I stalk the six feet over to her. She backs up as I step toward her. "Naminé, what are you doing?"

I look at her with nastiest death glare I can pull out. "You backstabbing bitch!" I yell right in her face. "You stupid fuck!"

"What's going on?" I hear Roxas ask Axel in the background. I pivot and glare at Roxas to which he raises an eyebrow. "What?"

"You stay out of this, asshole," I warn dangerously. I try not to laugh at the goofy, admiring grin on Axel's face. I resist the urge to wink and turn back to Kairi. I keep my eyes narrowed. "_You_," I spit, "are the worst, nastiest, dumbest, bitchiest, most _worthless_ piece of shit that anyone has ever had the MISFORTUNE of calling their sibling!" She gasps and starts to talk. I interrupt her promptly "Shut the fuck up! I didn't say you could talk. And you know what? I'd like it if you never talked again. You are fucking _scum_. You are a backstabber, untrustworthy, and the worst part? You're stupid! At least if you're going to go behind your sister's back do it _without_ getting caught! Who the hell even told you to come here?"

Kairi's frightened, deep blue eyes glance at Roxas. They pupils are slowly growing. The irises are turning lighter in fear. Good. She should be scared.

I look over my shoulder and snort. _Of course that douche had something to do with it._

"So why are you here, huh? Are you here to shove it in my face that you always win?—that you always get what you want and you always get what I want? Is it that you thought I was going to _finally _beat you to something but you had to take it and rub your victory in?"

"N-no…" she weakly mutters, hanging her head and looking away.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" I demand. Her head snaps up. I take deep breaths to calm down. Quietly I talk to her now. "You knew, Kairi. You betrayed the trust I put in you and for what—a stupid boy and another victory? Is it worth it knowing I hate you now? Is it worth it knowing I wish you would die?"

I take notice of some tears falling from her eyes. I only notice because they roll down her arms and her collarbone. A few even make it down to her legs.

I don't feel guilty at all.

She earned this… right?

_…right..?_

_Is it?_

My breath hitches and I turn to walk away.

"Naminé, please…" she meekly calls after me.

I stop walking.

_Please don't make me keep walking. I don't want to do this. I don't want to fight, especially over a guy. Don't ruin this, Kairi… Please…_

She almost inaudibly says, "Never mind."

I clench my fists at my side then unclench them. I continue walking, trying to maintain at least some of my pride. I won. I'm the one who beat her for once. I step to the door and open it.

I hear Kairi suddenly scream, "I'm sorry!"

"No." I stop her, hold up one of my hands. Then I drop it and shake my head. "I am."

-(NC)-

I hold my breath, remaining on the floor of my uncle's pool. Wouldn't it be weird if they came back from their vacation and found me dead in their pool when they took the cover off? Just let me sink. Let me drown. Let me stay in the water and look up at the warped world above me. Let me stay in the warmth. Let me stay in the thick atmosphere. Teach me to live under here. Teach me to hear in the silence.

There is no noise down here. There is no pain, no suffering—only water. There is only water. That's all I wish the world was. This. This is nice. This is calm. This is beautiful. Maybe it's not my uncle's pool, but the water and the way it makes me feel.

Just let me stay in the water.

Let me stay down here.

Let me lie here in peace.

Let me die here in the warmth.

_Let me die in the warmth_.

-(NC)-

My eyes pop open and I'm coughing. Water is spurting out of my mouth. My lungs are burning. My chest is heaving. My body is wrenching. And all the while I'm coughing up water and blood. I am shot into consciousness painfully.

"Naminé!" a voice yells through a muzzle.

No… not a muzzle. There's too much water in my ear. I tilt my head slightly and let some of it drip out, disgusted with how wet I am. My hair is stuck to my face and my neck, clinging to me for dear life. My eyelashes feel stringy. Every inch of my skin is icy cold.

And then it's warm… Arms are around me, a face is buried in the frozen crook of my neck, and it's warm… So warm…

"Thank God," the voice, muzzle gone, whispers happily. "I thought you were going to die."

Why can't I see..? I can't see the person. My eyes are open but I can't see? What is this? I close my eyes and open them once more, the world slowly coming into focus. The pine trees' prickles are sharp. The chipped paint on my uncle's garage skids off the brick and tucks into the dirt. The well-cared-for flowers all stare at me with expectant blooms.

"Who..?" I choke out, the side of my face hurting. I can't see who helped me. My body is too weak to move. I don't want to move anyway. I don't want to go anywhere anyway. I just wanted to stay in the warmth.

"You can talk too… Phew…" A sigh of relief follows. "Naminé, can you see anything?"

I cough. "Is the pope catholic?"

Another sigh of deep relief escapes the – I decided that this must be a – boy. "Thank God _again_."

I shiver and remember I'm freezing my ass off. "Warm…?"

"Warm? What do you mea—oh! No dip you're cold. Eh… my house…? Sound good?"

"Who…are you?" I ask, honestly wondering. I don't even know who's holding onto me like the most important thing in the world. I don't know why he's cradling me in his arms. I don't know why I'm still getting wet!

Staring blankly into the sky, I see the dark storm clouds and the rain.

I remember… I'm supposed to go to a party… with Axel and… Roxas. And I want to hurt Roxas for hurting me with Kairi's help. No… it was Kairi who wanted Roxas' help. He didn't know I liked him for so long. And Axel… has liked _me_ for so long. I guess… I should want Axel then. The party… before that is the basketball game, right?

I sit up sharply in random shock. "The game!" I should, frantically looking around. But my eyes don't graze over my savior. Or maybe he's my enemy since he stole me from my new world…my watery world that I love so much…

I collapse back into the anonymous man's arms and allow him to pick me up and carry me in a random direction. I let my eyes slip shut because I don't want to stay awake. I tried to die and failed. I tried to find a new world, but it's inhabitable.

"The game? What are you—right! The basketball game," he drawls fondly of the sport. He kicks a door shut behind us. He hikes me up in his arms and holds me closer. "No, you didn't miss it. It starts in half an hour but you're not going."

"But… Axel…" I mumble almost incoherently. "I should be there…"

I hear a chuckle and the man pats the side of my knee, which he has his arms hooked under. "No you shouldn't. You just tried killing yourself. You're not going anywhere."

I grumble. "You can't tell me what to do… Nh… What happened to Roxas?" I find myself asking mindlessly.

The person's steps stop momentarily and I hear the turning of a doorknob. "Roxas? What do you mean?"

"Roxas… I yelled at him… and I… I said some things I didn't mean at _all_," I brainlessly admit to whoever has been carrying me for the past fifteen minutes to some building. I think it's a house. But I keep talking. "I could never mean that about him… ever… I've liked him too long…"

"How long might that be?"

"Since second grade," I say. "But he won't forgive me… not for what I said. I waited… _so long_ to be friends with him. And I ruined it because of my sister." I add under my breath that she's, "my stupid fucking piece of shit bitch sister."

The boy laughs openly and pats my shoulder. "I'm sure he'll forgive you."

I am set down on a couch or a futon. Something like that. I think it's a futon. But he's not pulling it out. Instead, a warm, snuggly blanket is laid over me completely. I immediately curl into it comfortably and groan in happiness. I mutter a thank you. Then I ask doubtfully, "How do you know?"

A hand pushes damp bangs out of my eyes and tucks strands behind my ears. I open one of my eyes slightly and catch a blurry glimpse of a glowing, secretive smile. "How could I not?" A light kiss is placed on my forehead and the boy walks away.

Who… was that?

-(NC)-

I force myself off the futon long after I hear the door close and a boy call out something about the Rec Center. I wrap the blanket around myself, not daring to expose my fragile body to the cold anymore. The random question of "where the fuck is my hat?" pops into my head, but I quickly discard it. I blink a few times, trying to focus. Finally everything is truly clear.

Whose house is this and why is it so nice and clean? The living room is black and white with a checkered ottoman to kick feet up on when in the white recliner near the _huge_ LCD TV.

And I'm like, "Ho-ly _shit_!"

A motherly voice starts talking to me out of nowhere. "We watch our mouths in this house young lady—oh! I thought it was my nephew. You sound similar when you swear." A woman with blue (has to be dyed. You can_not_ naturally have hair the color of Hollister skinny jeans) hair walks in, wiping her hands off on a kitchen towel that looks identical to one I have back home in New Hampshire. "You must be that girl he came into the house carrying. Is there anything I can get for you? A hot bath? Food maybe?"

I hold up a finger. The woman looks familiar, but why am I in her house? "Um… I'd just like to know why I'm here." I add, "And who you are might be nice. I'm kinda inwardly flipping shits right now."

"Oh! He said you might not remember when you wake up. So Roxas wrote out a note for me to give you. Now if only I could find it…" She trails back into what I guess is the kitchen. I hear crashing, clanking, and banging and wince at the unassuming sounds. "Found it!" she squeals, skipping back in. She holds out the note in her pale hands. "My name is Aqua by the way. I'm Roxas' mother."

_That's why she looked familiar! I've seen her so many times before! Oh God damn it. Please don't tell me I look like a whore. Please tell me I look somewhat okay._ I glance down at myself. _What am I saying? I'm in her living room wearing a blanket!_

I take the note from her and nod gratefully. "Thank you Ms. Colton."

"Just call me Aqua," she insists, flipping her hand like _p-shaw!_ "I don't like feeling so _old_ when people call me 'Ms. Colton.' My name is Aqua anyway." The smile on her face is absolutely brilliant. It doesn't look like Roxas' though. He must get it from his dad. "If you don't mind I _must_ return to dinner. But Roxas also brought your phone when he brought you. It's on the end table in case you were wondering." A loud beep emits from the kitchen. Aqua blinks like she's scared and runs into the kitchen screaming.

I honestly don't remember her being this much of a spaz. It must be where Roxas gets his weird side from though.

_Roxas…_

_That bastard led me on then made out with my sister in front of me! What the hell! I'm so going to kick his ass into next year._

I unfold the oh-so-carefully folded note Aqua handed me and raise an eyebrow. I never would have pegged Roxas for the kind of guy with good handwriting.

_You were drowning so I helped you out. Was it on purpose? Saved your life really._

I snort quietly out loud and mutter, "No shat, Sherlock."

_I'm at the game. Axel's here too. Party's later. Still going?_

"Wouldn't miss it, man," I mutter.

_& I know we have some stuff to talk about. For now just stay with my mom. My distant cousin in-law should be coming over a little before the party so just… yeah. Keep him company. He's psycho. And annoying. And whatever you do, don't mention the karaoke. He has a thing for Jesse McCartney and likes to tease people. A lot. _

_See ya later… I guess?_

_Roxas_

"So you're distant cousin's gonna keep me company while you play basketball, huh?" I yawn, stretching out my back and setting the note beside me. I lean over and look at my phone's front screen. Two missed calls, a voice message, and two texts. Geez aren't I popular.

I ignore the voicemail. As for the missed calls, one is from Sora and one is from Kairi.

Grr.

Kairi.

I go through the texts, too.

_From: Axel_

_Hey are you ok? You kinda just left earlier. What happened? I worried about you :'(_

I smile slightly at the cuteness. Aw. Axel's so adorable and sweet. He was worried about me.

_From: Sora_

_Omg do you EVER pick up yer damn phone? -.-_

As a matter of fact I do. I just happened to be dying when you called. You know, attempting suicide and whatnot.

_From: Kairi_

_I am SO sorry bout earlier. =[ don't be mad, please._

It's _too _late for that. Which really sucks. I gave you a chance to say the right thing and make it all okay, but you passed it up. You put a boy before our sisterhood. I mean, I know I've done the same thing and that makes me a bit of a hypocrite but you… you do it so much and it gets real old.

I hear the front door of the house get tossed open; the doorknob hits the inner wall with a _thud_. I don't bother looking because – whoever it is – I really don't care. I just want to get out of here because it's awkward and I'm relatively sure that I am in ROXAS COLTON'S house with ROXAS COLTON'S mom holding on to ROXAS COLTON'S blanket.

"Auntie is Roxy here?" a feminine voice calls. I thought Roxas' cousin was supposed to be a guy.

"No, he's not," Aqua calls back. "He already left for his game. He told me to tell you to stay put here until he gets back."

The boy huffs and closes the door rather lightly. "Gawd it's not like I can't handle myself. He's such a shallow cheese puff."

I snort. "Cheese puff?" I find myself repeating, shaking my head and still not looking at Roxas' cousin. If he's cute I'd be insanely embarrassed and no, I don't want that. "That's nice."

"Well he _is_. What, you think I'm gonna—Naminé?"

I sharply look over my shoulder to see Roxas' cousin gawking at me, jaw hitting the floor. And boy does he look shocked. I'm sure my eyes are wide as plates right now, too!

"_Sora_?"

* * *

HA! Random semi-twist there. I needed a bridge to bring the New Hampshire peeps and the Ohio peeps together into one place and since I hate life in NH so much I figured that everyone would end up in Ohio because I'm like that. I'm very partial. And you know what? I don't care because I'm nuts. :)

I have a _thank-you_ I'd like to mention about the previous chapter. I was extremely stuck on it and all I kept having was the little piece about Nams and Kairi at Mickey Dee's, but then miss **Murkle Mugs** reviewed, struck up a conversation, and greatly assisted in the creation of that chapter. I couldn't have gotten the ideas without the inspiration. So, thank you. :D

Alright... I'm done here. Peace, fools!

Scotty


	9. Courtside Seats

**Nine  
**_Courtside Seats_

"Sora, you're Roxas' _cousin_?" I yell, flailing my arms.

"Naminé, you're half naked in Roxas' house?" Sora yells back, throwing his arms up in the air.

We both yell at the same time, "What the hell?"

I start mumbling. "If this isn't the most awkward, freakish twist I've seen I don't know what is. Not only is Roxas an on-leading sonofabitch his cousin is my best friend who never told me that I was in like with his distant fucking cousin!" By the time I'm done I'm yelling again. "Why didn't you tell me!"

"Why didn't you ask?" Sora retorts, practically jumping over all the furniture to get over to me. He sits down and holds me in a tight hug. "Oh my gosh I can't believe I'm seeing you!"

I grumble, "I can't believe you never told me you go to Ohio."

He holds me out at arm's length and looks at me peculiarly. "I don't. This is my first time here," he admits sheepishly. "I brought a few other people along too. We drove out here."

I blink in total shock. "May I ask _why_?"

Sora shrugs and hugs me tighter again. "Aw I don't know. Aqua called my mom and asked if I wanted to visit my distant cousin that looks like my twin. So I said sure. And when I found out he was the same Roxas you've been obsessing over your whole life I _had_ to come out here to meet him and to see you! I've missed you!"

My eye twitches. "Dear God, Sora! You're nucking futs!"

He raises an eyebrow. "Don't you mean 'fucking nuts'?" he corrects me, tilting his head. His hair flops cutely to one side.

I fume. "OF COURSE THAT'S WHAT I MEAN!"

He winces and yells back at me, "Geez, you don't have to yell!"

"YES I DO!"

"It's real scary so STOP IT!"

"NEVER!"

"UP SHUT ELSE OR!"

"'THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" I exasperate, my arms flailing around in the air by this point. Sora's all up in my face and we're basically glaring at each other in a strangely intimate way that only _he_ could make me look at someone. He's Sora. He's adorable and irresistible. Can you blame me?

"I _don't know_!" he cries, yanking at his chocolaty hair.

Interrupting us is my cellphone. It's ringing. Why in the world is it ringing? It's not even ringing for shit's sake, it's on vibrate so it's _buzzing_. Ex-_cuse_ me for improper terminology. Just fuck me up the ass.

Not really. Don't get any ideas, dude.

I reach over to the end table and answer my phone without looking at the caller id. "Sup ho?"

"Uh… Hi." It's Roxas. _Roxas_ is calling me. Why in the world is Roxas calling me? He should be at the game right now!

My face instantly heats up and I start blushing like a giggly teenage girl (which I am). Sora gives me this weird look. I respond to it by clasping my hand over his mouth so he can't talk. "Hi, Roxas… What's up?" I ask nonchalantly as if I'm not at his house, half naked, wrapped in one of _his_ blankets.

"I was wondering if my cousin got there yet and if you two were planning on coming to the game. We're only in the first quarter and you haven't missed much other than Axel pulling a couple amazing shots out of his ass." Cheering and whooping in the background ensue. Roxas screams a 'hell yeah' while laughing and I can hear him slap someone's hand.

Hoping he'll hear me the first time so I don't have to annoyingly repeat myself I tell him, "Yes. Your cousin Sora is here. And I don't have clothes so how in hell am I supposed to go there," I point out like, _duh_.

Sora gives me a mischievous grin from behind my hand and waves his hands in the air like a maniac with an idea.

"What, Sora, you got an idea?" I mutter. He nods vehemently, bouncing up and down on the couch. I roll my eyes. "Fine." I sigh and catch Roxas's attention by calling him a faggot.

"I'm not a faggot."

"You made out with my sister, so you must be."

Someone goes _burn, dude_ in the background and I laugh. I can hear Roxas cuss him out. "No comment," he grumbles.

I smirk. _Damn straight you better have no comment, bitch boy._ "So yeah, we'll be at the game in what, ten minutes, Sora?" I ask, specifically directing it at one of my best friends. He pulls my hand away from his mouth so I can see his pearly grin. He shoots me a 'thumbs-up'. "Ten minutes and we'll be there."

Roxas just says, "Sounds good. See you then. Bye." And then he hangs up.

And I'm like, _wow he's rude_. But in the back of my mind I know it was mostly because I made that comment about Kairi to him. I mean, he had the choice to _not_ make out with that whore. If I see her at the game I will so flip a major shit and kick some ass. Why couldn't she be with someone else? I'm sure there's someone else who likes her.

...wait a second...

Sora leaps off the couch and latches onto my hand. He starts pulling me in the direction of the stairs, probably thinking that he'll find what he's looking for up there. "Let's go get you ready!"

"Where are we going?" I ask skeptically, standing up and following him.

Sora smirks evilly. "Wouldn't it be great if you showed your support for Roxas by showing up _in his clothes_? More specifically _one of his jerseys?_" Sora suggests with this amazing smile on his face. His eyes are practically _glowing_.

I bet if I told him what happened between Kairi and Roxas he'd be in even _more_ favor of this little plan he has. You know why? Because Sora's liked Kairi since she and I moved to New Hampshire. He's _always_ liked her and always been devoted to her but she never gives him the time of day. I bet… that if we're on the same side in this we can both get what we want. Hell, I'm sure there's even a happy ending for Axel somewhere in there.

Oh damn, I _forgot_ about Axel. He likes me and that makes this way difficult. I don't want to hurt him, but at the same time I _really_ want Roxas mine.

If there is a God, this will work out. (Hear that God? I just threatened you. Prove to me you exist, big man, and we won't have a problem.)

-(NC)-

"I can't believe I'm doing this," I mumble, awkwardly shifting the pair of pants Sora forced me to wear. We're walking through the Rec Center's halls and I'm getting lots of strange looks. Is this what it means to get checked out? Because if so, Sora has quite a few eyes on him, too; if those hoes even _think_ about stealing my friend from me, caps in asses are going to be popped.

"Nams, you look hot. Don't question it," Sora commands, nudging me with his elbow. He has an arm coolly wrapped around my waist and it's all the proof in the world that I don't like him like that because I don't feel a thing. I just think it is two friends walking to the huge main gym.

By _hot_, Sora means he told me to wear a pair of Roxas's favorite baggy black jeans and one of his electric blue basketball jerseys that has his last name and number on the back—_COLTON_ and _17_ respectively—with a white t-shirt under it. To my pleasure I got to wear a hat as well. It's not my Hurley hat, but it'll have to do. It's a Cookie Monster hat. And it looks badass.

Sora and I stride into the gym and go over to the right-hand occupied court. We push through tons of people and tons of people glare at us because tons of people aren't happy that someone who's obviously a girl is dressed like a guy and pushing through them trying to get a decent spot on the bleachers. Sora and I end up sitting right behind Axel and Roxas's team's bench. I know because I know Roxas's dad is their coach. Basketball is their family's _life_.

Right now the game is in the middle of the second 20-minute quarter. I look at the court to see if I recognize anyone out there. Axel and Roxas are both already playing. When I spot Axel he's leaping into the air and he dunks the ball, sinking it right into the net. I think he's the only person on his team tall enough and light enough to pull that off and _damn _does he look good doing it. The team is full of people I do and don't recognize from when I lived out here. A kid I think is named Alec is on their team, as is an Axel-wannabe named Lea who I went to school with for all of a week since he moved in when I moved out. There's a blond named John Crouch that I remember everyone just calling 'John Crotch'.

I'm bored again shortly because the other team keeps calling time-outs and I really just want to watch the game. Sora has taken his hand off of my hip and I lean on his shoulder as a pillow. He's far more exuberant and into this than I thought he would be. Then again, since I've been gone he had to have spent every single day with Riku and Riku plays basketball religiously. It's part of what makes him so sexy to me; basketball is a _very_ sexy sport.

I yawn and almost fall asleep, but someone taps on my shoulder. I whip around sharply and yell, "What!" a little too nastily, only to find out that I just yelled at Kairi. So I wasn't too nasty. That's good to know. "Oh, it's you," I grumble.

She pouts. "Come on, Naminé. Please don't be like this. I already apologized."

"I'm not accepting your apology," I promise her. When I say that, Sora turns to look at me, then twists his back so he can see who I'm talking to. His mouth hangs open and his face turns bright red. I can hear him stammering like an idiot in his head. "I'm not accepting her apology," I inform him.

"H-h-hi Kairi…" he greets her mildly, shyly, totally contrasting the goofy, hyperactive Sora everyone knows and loves. I know this side of him too, though. And frankly it makes me laugh.

Kairi blinks in shock. Her pink lips form an O. An innocent smile works its way onto her face.

I'm tempted to beat her, but if she gets closer to Sora like I'm hoping then I can take Roxas and won't have to worry about her anymore. Genius, right? I thought so, too.

"Hey, Sora!" Kairi exuberantly bends down from her seat on the tier above us and wraps her arms around his neck. He hugs her back. "Ooh, what are you doing here? In Ohio, I mean."

Sora releases her nervously and flushes. "Well… uh… my cousin lives here and I came down to visit him."

"Oh really? Who's your cousin?" Kairi asks stupidly as if you can't plainly see the resemblance. Maybe she just hasn't looked at Roxas enough. Lord knows I have.

"His name's Roxas," Sora says.

Kairi pales. "R-r-really…" The awestruck look on her face is _way_ far beyond priceless. I pat her faux-comfortingly on the shoulder and wish her luck quietly and focus my attention back on the game.

Roxas isn't on the court anymore, I notice. I sigh in discontent, unhappy that I can't watch him now. I stare down at the nearly-packed bench of the players that's only a couple feet away from me. One of the jerseys reads _COLTON_ on the back. My heart starts pounding. I inwardly squeal. Without a second thought about Sora and Kairi's predicament to work out, I jump off the bleachers and sneak up behind Roxas. I tap on his shoulder.

He tilts his head back as far as possible to get a look at me. I think I hear his neck crack, but I'm not sure because his relieved smile is distracting me. "Naminé, you made it!"

"Told you I wouldn't miss it." _Even though that's what I said about the party, not the game. Smooth, Nam. Real smooth._

"I'm glad," he says. Our eyes lock and he doesn't seem to intend on breaking the gaze, not even to glance back at Kairi, who is now in a fully awkward-looking conversation with Sora.

"Roxas!" his coach calls him over. Roxas's head shoots up and he is no longer looking at me. "You're going in next time out. Take Axel's place."

"Gotcha," Roxas says back without getting up. He tilts his head back once more to look at me. Deciding this is getting difficult, he fully turns around and checks me up and down. At first he looks confused, but then he smiles victoriously like he just won something. That look makes me blush. "You look _fine_."

I wink. "I dress like the best." (Where the hell did that come from?)

"ROXAS!" the coach yells. "You're in! Get over here!"

Roxas frowns and his dad and sighs. "I'll see you after this quarter. We get all of five minutes of a break."

I snicker. "Don't have to tell me that. I know how to play a city game of basketball."

His smile returns and he flicks the Cookie Monster face on the hat I borrowed from Sora. "Of course you do." He parts from the bench without another word and jogs over to his teammates.

Replacing him as my conversation buddy is Axel, who has the most luminescent, overjoyed smile on his face that I think I've ever seen in all the years of knowing him. He leaps over the bench effortlessly and pulls me into a hug. My face turns bright red. People are watching. I hug him back unsurely, burying my face in his chest. Never have I disliked the smell of sweat, and Axel's was no exception. Disgustingly enough, I sorta like his.

"Nice to see you up and moving," he says, kissing me on the cheek. I blush as he pulls back from our embrace and sits on the bench, facing the court. He motions for me to sit next to him, but instead I stand behind him and sling my arms around his neck from the back and rest my chin on top of his damp head. "Sorry, I'm kind of gross."

I shake my head and smile, patting his chest affectionately. "I don't mind."

"Funny," he says, "most girls would."

I shrug. My eyes follow Roxas as he dances on the court, weaving between the opposing team and ricocheting the ball between his hands, under his legs. "I guess I'm not most girls."

He passes the ball to John Crotch, runs over to the 3-point line, and gets the ball back from Crotch, whose jersey actually reads CROTCH on the back in huge letters. The bright blue eyes, visible from even this distance, glance at the clock and catch notice of the ten seconds left in the second quarter of the game.

Axel kisses the top of one of my hands. "Can't argue with that."

Roxas bounces the ball twice, shoots, and swishes the ball right into the net from the line as the buzzer goes off. The three points put them ahead for the end of the first half of the game. Axel and I cheer for him, along with everyone else behind us. Roxas throws his fist up in the air, even though this would've been far more dramatic at the end of the game. His teammates still swarm him and pat him on the back, bump fists, tackle him, etc. His gaze drifts over to me and Axel.

_Is it me or does he look… upset?_

He holds up one thumb and smiles halfheartedly. I return the gesture, trying to help the fact I feel slightly disappointed in myself.

-(NC)-

In the Recreation Center, just outside the main gym, is a cafeteria/snack bar area-type-thing. (That was articulate…) There are tables, chairs, and couches set up throughout the room which has gray tiles, a huge bar, and a skylight.

Axel, Roxas, Sora, Kairi, and I have seated ourselves at a table together, taking a couple minutes to break between the second and third quarter of the basketball game. I bought nachos that all of us have been digging into except Kairi. She looks scared to eat anything that I buy, like I poisoned it. See, the table order is like this clockwise: Sora, me, Axel, Roxas then Kairi so that everyone is near someone they can talk to. Kairi is engrossed in her cellphone. Roxas is talking to Sora from across the table while periodically stealing a Lays Barbecue Chip from the bag _I_ bought for myself, but I refuse to argue with him as he reaches over Axel and steals one. Axel and I talk about basketball in general and what their strategy is to keep in the lead for the second half of the game.

"If we win this we get to the semifinals," he tells me. "You know that since Rox and I started playing for this city when we were younger, we made it to the semis every year. But we've never made it to the finals, much less win. The other teams were shitty but I think we have a great chance this year."

I nod in total agreement. "You have a great lineup. When did you get John Crotch, by the way?"

Axel laughs and throws his arm around my shoulder. I catch him glancing at the clock and noticing the three minutes we still have left. "Last season. He's not that bad. I don't like that Lea kid. He keeps trying to steal my spotlight as the tallest dude on the team and it pisses me off."

I shrug and munch on a chip, then a cheese-covered nacho. "You two look a lot alike."

He grimaces. "Don't remind me."

Changing the topic I randomly drawl, "So about that party tonight…"

"You're still going, right?" someone—that isn't Axel but is Roxas—asks me out of nowhere. I lean back in my chair and look behind Axel. Roxas does the same.

"Yeah, I am. Why shouldn't I? You don't want me there?" I pretend to feel bad for myself and pout, wiping fake tears away from my eyes.

He snorts. "And what if I didn't?"

I gape and reach past Axel to slap him upside the head. "Douche."

"_Priss_," he coolly hisses. I can tell he doesn't mean it because his impish smile gives it away. I smack him again but she shields himself this time.

I snicker and shake my head, fiddling with the Cookie Monster hat on my head. "Dunno who you're talking about, but it sure as hell ain't me." I fix my chair and return to eating nachos. They're almost totally gone. I raise an eyebrow. Teenagers are pigs. I glance over my shoulder at the clock in the gym through a window wall. There's only a minute and eight seconds left before the game resumes. "Guys, let's go back. The game's restarting soon."

Axel groans melodramatically and pushes himself out of the chair. He even pulls mine out for me like a gentleman would. I notice Roxas doing the same for a disgruntled Kairi. She seems to tell him something and they have a small discussion about it. I join up with Sora and the two of us race back to the gym, trying to get our amazing seats on the bleachers before any sons of bitches can take them. When we take our seats, I look over at him.

I ask, "What were you and Kai talking about?"

He shakes his head and shrugs emptily. "I don't even know. It's like she's not the Kairi I remember anymore. She's…"

"Bitchier?" I finish for him.

He nods desolately. "That's the word…"

I sigh and pull him close to me in a side-hug. "We're going to a party tonight. We'll have plenty of time to talk about my bitchy sister afterwards. But right now, I want you to have fun." I kiss him on the side of the head. He laughs and shies away, flushing a little in embarrassment. Probably in case people presume we're a couple- which we never have been, never can be, and never will be.

Sora's face lightens up and he's back to being the goober I know and love as the stupid best friend he is. He shoves me away from him and laughs. "We can talk about our bitches later?" he asks.

I wink. "I have tons of those," I say suggestively. We both laugh then return our attention to the resumed game. Two minutes into the third quarter, neither Axel nor Roxas is on the court. I take a shifty side-glance at Sora.

Inside, I feel bad because he look like someone tore out his heart and stomped on it twenty four times and I know it's because of Kairi. I growl.

_She's not getting away with this again. If she causes someone pain one more time, I won't hesitate to hurt her physically, mentally, _or_ emotionally._

I smirk at my devious thoughts.

_Bitch it's fucking ON._

* * *

**A/N: **o.o; holy shit this took me so long to write. I was always stuck at the part where Sora shows up and I never got past that, but I forced my way through it and ended up making this the longest chapter of this story thus far! That's a total turnaround! And the best part is I'm very happy with how it came out.

_Can I get an honest critique/review of this chapter please? Quality, characterization, etc?_

So the next chapter is the party and I promise there is going to be some majorly major drama there. There has to be! Or else this story won't work. -.- I know that this hasn't been funny the past few chapters, but it will be soon enough... That is, if you like Kairi getting her ass kicked by Nams and Roxas by Sora. Axel's just going to find someone else maybe, too, so that gives him a happy ending _and_ there are MORE SURPRISES COMING! HELL TO THE YEAH! Not all of them are good and one of them might just break your heart if you remember why it matters, but I think I did damn good on this for the time it took. Almost 4,000 words, this chapter is. ;) Hard work so pays off.

Love, Scotttty


	10. Slightly Better Situations

**NOTE:** For the italicized part of this chapter right at the beginning, I strongly reccomend listening to **Invisible** by **Clay Aiken** because that's what I listened to when I wrote that. The rest of the chapter you can listen to anything dance or pop-ish like Cascada's newest album or Breathe Carolina or Cobra Starship. Those are just suggestions. You don't have to listen, but I think it adds to the effect. :D Okay, you can go read now.

* * *

**Ten  
**_A Slightly Better Situation_

_He was playing out the last quarter of the game with Axel when he turned to me and shot me a heart-stopping smile. I blushed and gave a half-assed wave back. I had always enjoyed watching him play basketball since he was so passionate about it; it lit a match under him and got him up and moving like nothing else, like _no one_ else did. Watching him was fascinating and from the first time I watched him play when he was only in fourth grade, I was hooked. But now things were different. He was a smooth operator now; so smooth he got my sister on his arm._

_I sighed and pulled my phone out of my pocket. I flipped through the contacts list until Roxas's name was highlighted. I hit 'edit', then started looking for a new ringtone for him. I couldn't keep it on Red Dress anymore. It was starting to break my heart. At that moment I knew I had to pick something that actually fit the situation I had gotten myself into. _

_I settled on a song, changed the ringtone, and a forlorn, worn-out smile stretched across my face tiredly. My eyes drooped at the corners and you could tell I was sad. But no one was paying attention. _

_Clay Aiken, I couldn't have said it better myself._

"_What would it take to make you see that I'm alive? If I was invisible and I could just watch you in your room; if I was invincible, I'd make you mine tonight. If hearts were unbreakable and I could just tell you where I stand I would be the smartest man. If I was invisible. Wait…I already am."_

-(NC)-

I throw my fist in the air as the final buzzer beeps, echoing throughout the gym. They had to go into double overtime and holy shit was it the most exciting game I have ever seen played by high school students. Man, was it ever exciting. Everyone is still cheering over the victory and watching the two teams give condolences and congratulations. My mind has been fucked.

MINDFUCK!

I jump off the bench like it burned my ass and bolt onto center court where Axel and Roxas are. They're talking about how awesome the game was and how happy they are that they finally get to go to the semis and maybe win the tournament this time. Axel is the first to notice me and a smile lights up his face. He opens his arms for me and I willingly fall into his embrace. I stand on my toes so I can wrap my arms around his neck and hold onto him tight. He hugs me back and I laugh when he squeezes me a little too tightly.

"That was awesome. Congratulations," I say directly into his ear. I can smell the sweat on him and still, instead of hating it I find it very sexy. It's manly.

Axel pulls back. We stare at each other for a minute before I notice he keeps glancing down at my mouth. I blush. Oh my gosh he's so going to kiss me again. Holy shit. What if he does? I don't know how to kiss well! He just stole my first kiss earlier today! What the hell am I supposed to do?

GAH!

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO KISS!

In my frantic mind I'm freaking the fuck out, but in reality I'm still calm and collected. My face is more-than-likely beet red and that's more-than-not embarrassing. Then I explode when Axel kisses me.

It's not shy, not innocent, not anything like I would kiss because I'm a fucking n00b. No, it's full of excitement and heat. His whole body is hot from the game and his lips are no exception. Shocked, I can't respond for all of two seconds before realizing that—oh shit—I'm supposed to kiss back. I end up moving my mouth against his and I feel him smiling into it.

He lightly eases out of it and gives me one last butterfly kiss. His stunning jade eyes seep into my mind as they pierce through the barriers of my soul. I can feel him trying to read me, trying to get into my head.

It's real unnerving how it's actually working.

Am I really that weak?

He winks at me. "Not bad for a newbie," he says.

I flush. "You can still tell I'm new to this though."

He shrugs and buries his face in the crook of my neck. I think I hear him inhale my scent, which is probably way better than his right now. Out of nowhere he stops. He holds me away at arm's length and looks me up and down skeptically.

"Why're you wearing Roxas's clothes…?"

Damn it. Forgot about that. How the hell can I make up a fantastical excuse about how I tried killing myself in my uncle's pool then woke up in Roxas's house and stole his clothes thanks to the help of his distant twin-cousin-something-something-removed, better known as my best friend from New Hampshire who never had the mind to tell me that his cousin is the guy I liked since… like… forever?

How the fuck do you come up with a story for that?

"Naaaaaami," the whining of Sora interrupts the awkwardness. He comes up next to me and grins like a stupid idiot. "And who's _thiiiis_?" he asks, eyes dancing menacingly the way his do when he tries to look Cheshire.

I groan and slap my forehead. Axel raises an eyebrow at this. He introduces himself as, "Axel. Got it memorized?"

Sora nods. "Nice to meet you!" He sounds like a giddy adolescent Hannah Montana fan right now and it's making me want to throw up and laugh at the same time. Can't decide which would work better.

I look past Sora to see Roxas and Kairi together. My mouth forms an O. _So that's why he's being overly hyper… He's trying to ignore _that.

By 'that' I mean Roxas with his hands on Kairi's hips, placing a kiss on her lips that she returns tenfold in the whorish way that _she would_. A growl erupts from the base of my throat and I just about go over and punch her fucking lights out, but I don't. I have more class than that.

Not really, but a girl can dream.

I remember Axel still doesn't know who Sora is and introduce them. "Axel, this is my best friend from New Hampshire, Sora. He's apparently Roxas's distant cousin."

Axel nods knowingly, giving Sora a queer 'wtf' look. "Right…" He smirks and suddenly catches Roxas's attention. "Hey Rox!" he yells, releasing me. In the two seconds before Roxas looks over, he whispers something to Sora who grins and has a diabolical gleam in his eye. Roxas looks over. "We made up a cheer for you!"

Roxas looks afraid. Very, _very_ afraid. His face pales in horror.

"Ready?" Axel asks Sora. Sora nods.

In unison in the gayest way I have ever seen. "1-2-3-4, get a room and close the door! 5-6-7-8, Roxy wants to FORNICATE!"

…

…

"HAHAAA!"

An obnoxious laugh much like Sora's comes out of me and I double over, clutching my stitching side. I can't… stop… laughing! It sucks that the joke is about Roxas and _Kairi_ and not Roxas and _me_, but for whatever reason it's way funnier to see her mortified than me.

_Maybe I should forgive her. This is torture enough for her._

Said bitch retorts, "Well maybe _we will_."

Axel laughs and jogs over to them, kissing my cheek before leaving me and Sora to keep giggling like idiots.

_On second thought…_

Sora and I are both taking heaving breaths in attempts to calm down. After like, three minutes we finally do. I give him a look. He gives me a look.

And we're back to square one.

"This isn't so bad, is it?" I ask him with much difficulty between outbursts.

He shakes his head. "Nah, it's not… If this is just the game, imagine the party."

"Oh sheeee-it it's gotta be _damn_ good to match up to this weed-smoking."

"Shush!" he hisses, covering my mouth with one hand and holding onto the back of my head for support with the other. I blink at him. He whispers, "Want to know a secret?"

"Whufff?" I try to ask through his hand.

He releases me and twirls in a huge, epic circle. "I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico!"

My eye twitches. "Leave it to you, Sora. Leave it to you."

"Leave what to me?" he asks innocently, stopping on one foot and wobbling as he tries to balance. "Whaaa! I don't wanna faaaaall!"

I roll my eyes and smile one of those '_you crazy kids_' smiles and stand next to him, ready to catch him in case he falls. "You won't fall now. And leave it to you to know exactly where to buy the weed."

He narrows his eyes and waggles his eyebrows. "I have my sources…"

I mutter, "Obviously."

"Hey!" Roxas yells at us. Sora and I both whip around attentively to face him, Kairi (ick), and Axel. Sora stumbles a little and I have to hold him up so he doesn't collapse drunkenly. "You ready to go? We have an after party to go to."

I stand straight up and pretend to act like a proper lady. I even talk in a stupid British accent that sounds so fake coming out of me. "Are you ready to go, my dear?"

Sora mimics me, only as a guy. Because if he was pretending to be a British woman I'd be very afraid. "Of course I am, milady." He offers me his arm and I latch my own around it, smiling at him fondly. He returns the gesture and plants a goofy kiss on my cheek.

I laugh and wipe my face vehemently. "Eww, Sora! That's gross!"

"You're mom's gross," he replies, sticking his tongue out at me. He shoves me a little and I shove him back. I can only think of the Family Guy episode where there were fake adds interrupting for "Shoving Buddies" and "Slowly Rotating Black Man" because who doesn't love Family Guy?

-(NC)-

"Whose house is this again?" I ask whoever feels like answering from the front seat of the killer Benz Roxas bummed off of his mom for the night (apparently). Sora, Kai, and I are in the backseats much to my displeasure because I don't like being next to her, but luckily I'm in the middle protecting Sora from her so he's alright. Axel and Roxas are up front with Roxas driving and Axel fucking with the radio.

"It's Crotchy's house," Roxas responds, informing me that we're going to the house of John Crotch—Crouch.

Dammit. I can't even call him by his real last name anymore. I mean, what kind of last name permits you to be called _Crotch_? I have a relative named Chris Cruise so when the family members that don't like him talk about him they say _Piss Crotch_ instead.

"Right then…" I fall back into the leather seat and tilt my head back, starting at the ceiling of the car. Sora does the same.

I turn to look at him and catch him staring crestfallenly at Kairi. His eyes are teeming with tears and I feel so bad for him. I reach down and hold his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. He mutters a thank-you.

We pull up to this upper-middle-class home that's located right here in the burbs and there's already music pounding from it. Cars are lined up going down the block and I'm like, _holy shit there are a lot of people here_. People my age are sitting on the hoods and trunks of cars smoking, drinking, and all that fun stuff. It really is a party. Lights are on and I'm surprised that no cops are crashing it since these people live only three blocks away from the police station, which is right by the middle and elementary schools. This house is on the same road as Roxas's, I notice.

I also notice that even though I'm so close to my grandmother's house, where I'm supposed to be staying, I feel so far away because I don't want to go back. I want to stay with someone else. I don't want to deal with my grandma Maleficent telling me how inferior to Kairi I am and I don't want to deal with Kairi and her constant texting of Roxas when he's not with her. I just don't want to be around them anymore.

We all file out of the Benz, Sora being the jumpiest and most excited out of the five of us. Lord knows that no one in New Hampshire can throw a good party.

He asks Roxas what the address of the place is. Roxas tells him and Sora pulls out his cell. I wonder why he does it, but it's so weird I can't help but ignore it. Axel comes up behind me and slings an arm around my waist.

He says loudly over the music, "I'm going in ahead of you, okay? There are some people I want to see. Can I introduce you to them a little later?"

Aw. How cute. He wants to introduce me to his jock friends. Wonder how he would feel if I told him I really _don't_ want to meet them because I don't care. I just shrug in response though and nod halfheartedly. As if I can every put my whole heart into anything anyway.

"Are you sure?" he asks, eyes filled with guilt.

Nice to know a guy actually cares about how a girl feels. "Yes, I'm sure," I reassure him, rubbing his shoulder blade. "Besides, I want to bond with Sora."

"Oh yeah, what's the deal with him?" Axel asks, shiftily glancing at Sora with a strange look in his eye that may be confusion, may be disgust. If it's the latter I won't hesitate to kick his ass because _nothing_ comes between me and Sora.

If I crossed my fingers I could say, 'We're like this.'

I fold my arms and narrow my eyes at Axel. "He's my best friend."

"Well yeah, I know that but…"

"But what?" I snap a bit too snappily.

He winces. "Are you sure there's nothing _else_ going on."

My eyes pop wide and my jaw drops. I start chuckling, which evolves into laughing. "Y-you think something's going on b-between me and _Sora_? _Sora _of all people?"

Axel raises an eyebrow at me.

"Of course not! For fuck's sake, we've gone to large sleepovers together with our friends! He's helped me pick out _underwear_!"

"That sounds like 'something else' to me…" Axel mutters.

I sigh… groan… whatever. "Honestly, Ax. Don't worry about it." _Yeah, if anything you should be worried about Roxas. Dude already has my heart no matter how much I hate him._

-(NC)-

"Sora, why haven't you gone inside yet? It's like, sixty-something degrees out here." I sit down next to Sora on the sidewalk and watch him as he intently stares down the road like he's waiting for something. "Dude, Prince Charming doesn't ride up on asphalt."

He sticks his tongue out at me then returns to waiting impatiently. I only know because his foot is tapping to the music and whenever he gets tapping, he's not happy. "I'm just waiting for someone."

I'm a little taken aback by that. "I thought you didn't know anyone in Ohio. How could you be waiting for someone?"

"Well…" he sighs and smiles pleasantly like the Sora that _isn't_ mopey over Kairi. "You know how I said I brought some friends with me?"

I nod. "Yeaaah…?"

"They're kind of your other best friends…"

My jaw hangs open. _My friends are here? In Ohio? And I get to see them?_ I grip Sora's shoulders tensely. He looks shocked but smiles. "Please, _please_ tell me you're not joking, Sora."

He nods in the direction of a red Volvo that's pulling up to Crotchy's house. "See for yourself," he says. He leaps to his feet, takes both of my hands, and pulls me up with him.

Joy swells up in my chest. I don't think I've ever been this excited in my life. I start bouncing when the lights go off and the car parks. The first person that comes out is from the driver's seat and it's none other than Riku, followed by Xigbar from the passenger spot and Demyx from the back. Tears overflow from my eyes and I cover my mouth with one of my hands and cry.

The Cookie Monster hat is taken from my head by Sora. He combs through my hair with his fingers once and gives me this amazing smile and I want to cry onto him but there are too many people around in this black night illuminated by lighters, a bonfire, and streetlights for me to not humiliate myself by sobbing.

Sora then says, "You're prettier without it." And I know he's talking about the barrier I use a hat for; the way I use it to hide myself.

A squeal explodes from Demyx and he bolts from the car, scoops me up in his arms, and spins me around merrily. "Aw Naminé, it's so good to see you!"

Too shocked to say more I just tell him 'ditto' and hug him back briefly. He's torn off of me suddenly by Xigbar, whose hair is still up in his trademark ponytail and he re-dyed it so he could keep that funky gray streak in it like the freak he is.

He throws his arms around me like a little girl would do to Nick Jonas. "Kiddo, it's been too long."

"I'm not a kid," I mutter, patting him on the back.

He snorts. "As if you're not…"

And then _he's_ pulled off of me and dragged away by the collar by Demyx who lectures him about interrupting epic hugs. They get into this cheesy argument that I find absolutely wonderful and familiar. Finally, Riku steps into my view. He's standing far taller than me now and I feel like a goddamn midget compared to him. He's probably taller than Axel. And he has _way_ more muscle than either him or Roxas. Yep, that's Riku for you: 100% doable on any day of the week.

What I wouldn't give to give him my virginity right fucking now.

Not really. I'm kind of almost taken and that would be slutty.

…Okay, I don't care. It's Riku. He's a babe. _And_ he's straight!

My face turns bright red. Seeing him looking so… _sexy_ is very tempting. He's wearing these faded blue baggy jeans and a yellow tank top that shows off those _delicious_ arms.

It's hard to believe I don't like him like that. It's purely lust. Purely, purely lust. If it meant I could go with Riku in a desire-driven relationship for a while, I would drop Axel in a second because after this summer I won't see him until the next time I'm in Ohio. Riku is always around and nothing can ruin our friendship so why not try, right?

That sounds _so_ nice right now… just throw Riku up against a car and kiss him like I've wanted to for ages but couldn't because I was still a kissing virgin. Now I have a full eight hours of experience.

Not that it makes much difference.

Riku cups the side of my face with one of his large hands and strokes my cheek with his thumb. "You look so different…"

I smile and hold the wrist of the hand he's touching me with. I find myself tracing circles and enjoying this strange intimacy. It's like there _isn't_ a huge, bumpin' house party going on to my right/his left and it's like there aren't a shit ton of people around that could be watching.

This is what I call the "Riku Effect." It works on ninety percent of females and sixty-four percent of males and it is _dangerous_.

"I could say the same to you," I tell him.

He tilts his head and long silver waterfalls of hair cascade past his shoulders. "Something's different…" He smirks. "You got your first kiss."

HOW DOES HE KNOW THESE THINGS?

I flush. "Heh… Whatever gave you that idea?"

"You say that as if I'm not a total sex god. I am jealous though." He purses his lips and his eyes crinkle in the corners like he's smiling, but he's not. Maybe he's more aggravated. "I thought I was going to be your first kiss," he teases. He winks.

I push his hand off of my face and laugh, whacking him on the arm. "You snooze you lose, oh mighty god of sex."

Riku smiles fondly and nods in the direction of Crotchy's house. He calls over his shoulder, "You guys ready to go in?"

"Fuzz yeah!" Demyx woops, swaying his hips in a very feminine way.

Xigbar elbows Dem in the side like he's embarrassed and nods. He gives us both thumbs up. "I'm game."

Sora is the last to—wait a second, where's Sora? He's not outside anymore? He probably just went in ahead of us because he got bored of the touchy-feely sentimental moment. But these are his friends, too… I wonder if he's okay.

Me and my posse of two bad-asses and a flamboyant homo (guess which is which) head up to the door and are greeted with the stench of alcohol and cigarettes and extremely loud music that currently sounds like _The Dressing Room_ by Breathe Carolina.

I take a whiff of the gross air and smirk.

_This is definitely where it's at_.

* * *

**A/N: **As a present for the lovely amount of updates, you gorgeous people, I did back-to-back updates and just wrote this entire chapter today from start to finish, making this the second longest chapter written. Sorry for delaying the drama; that's coming next. I had to give these parts of the story.

And I know you all love seeing Sora, you... chicks ;)

So. Opinions? Questions? Comments? Concerns? Porn?

...what was that about porn? o.o

Wiff luff, Scotttty


	11. YOU's a Drama Queen

**Eleven  
**_Y-O-U's a Drama Queen_

I have the strangest feeling I didn't mention this sooner because I was so busy freaking the fuck out about the party and my friends being here. But did you know that I actually _can_ dance? Not the queer White Kid dancing, either; I'm talking legit moves and epic fluidity. And might I say it's getting me a lot of attention.

Someone gave me alcohol.

Not just alcohol, but _too much_ alcohol.

WTF AM I SAYING? You can never have too much booze. And I'm going to have a horrible hangover after this, but I don't really care because I'm having way too much fun for my own good.

And it _is _pretty funny knowing that Kairi's watching you and getting jealous that the attention of half the guys in the cramped living room is on _me_ and not her. I happen to be dancing on a shockingly sturdy coffee table enjoying myself to _Misery Business _by Paramore.

And the coolest, best, most fantastic fucking part of this is that Roxas is watching, too. His arm may be around Kairi, but his eyes are on me. Well, probably me. Unless he's staring at Xigbar because Xigbar is up there with me and we're making quite the scene. For someone older than me, he is one of the worst influences all of _ever_. But I do love how to a song like this, the same Roxas Colton I've liked for shit-knows-how-long is paying attention to me instead of someone else.

If I sang along I'd be singing to Kairi because that bitch needs to let him go and let me have him. No one else could be better for him than me. NO ONE.

Except maybe Axel, but neither of them are gay so that doesn't work… But wouldn't that be hot? I'm a closet yaoi fangirl. Sue me.

So here's me and here's Xigbar up dancing on a table like we're fucking celebrities, grabbing the hands of the people jumping around the coffee table. You ever been to a real rock concert with mosh pits and shit? Right now, me and Xigbar are the band and everyone wants to party with us. I don't think I've ever felt this free or proud to be myself. I feel loose, I feel relieved, and I feel like I can do anything.

The lights in this room are almost nonexistent; it's very dim and someone was cool enough to put in some spinny thing that makes a bunch of insane neon colors on our clothes. I mean a black light. Yeah. John Crotch's house has a black light. For once in my life I don't want to make fun of him because that's pretty damn cool. The walls of the living room, I now notice, are totally doodled all over in black light marker because if you walked in while these lights are off you wouldn't notice a single marking.

Something tells me this kid throws a lot of parties, but that's just me. What do I know?

Some may be wondering where Demyx and Riku are. Well, Demyx is like a reckless fan of Xigbar and is making sure to keep him within arm's reach at all times. I wasn't kidding when I said he's a flaming homo. He likes men. Maybe not Xigbar, but he sure as shit acts like it sometimes. As for Riku, just like Demyx is the person staying closest to Xigbar in this huge party of people that wants to do us because our tractors are sexy, he's my Demyx basically. He's staying close to me and making sure no one tries to hurt me.

I tried to tell him I can take care of myself, but he's a protective douchebag. It's part of what makes him appealing as a 'sex god'. I have a hard time understanding why he doesn't have a girlfriend right now.

Oh wait, he's Riku. He doesn't need one.

I think he's kind of slutty… But don't tell him I said that; I don't want to insinuate anything.

WOW. I'm tanked and just used the word 'insinuate'. I feel fucking cool.

The next song that comes on is _Smooth_; not the Carlos Santana original version, but the Escape The Fate version that's way heavier and far more badass. Like the jerk that I am, I use my hip to knock Xigbar off the table and onto Demyx, who catches him. Xigbar ends up crowd surfing.

Instantly jealous, I dive backwards into the crowd and don't even notice the grabby hands touching my ass or the feely guys trying to touch other places. I'm drunk. I don't care. Besides, if anything bad were to happen I have Xigbar and Riku to back me up. Not Demyx though. Demyx is a wuss that really doesn't like to fight.

When the awesome people finally drop me off right at the entrance to the kitchen, I spot Axel standing with a few of the guys from the basketball team. Much like him they've all put on regular pants but kept their jerseys on. Maybe they think that wearing a nylon thing with BPK, their last name, and a huge number on it is sexy.

Dunno about you, but I find it _very_ sexy.

Axel looks at me with an eyebrow quirked as I slap the hands and asses of many random people I don't know and even have a few numbers written on my arm in Sharpie, which, where the hell did the marker come from out of curiosity?

"Oh hey there, Axel!" I greet overly-cheerfully in the kind of way Sora would. (Seriously, I still don't know where he is and I'm worried.)

Axel's eyes gleam and he smiles at me. He waves me over and I pleasantly comply. "Having fun?" he asks me loudly, over the sound of _Past Praying For_ by Versaemerge.

I give him two thumbs up. "Fuck yeah!"

He laughs and kisses me on the side of my face. His posse blinks like they're in disbelief. Axel's like, "Guys, this is Naminé. Naminé, these are my buddies Larxene, Xaldin, and Luxord. Xaldin and Lux are on the team."

And I realize why Larxene isn't right away. "HOLY SHIT YOU'RE A GIRL!"

She glares and flips me the bird lazily. Why is she wearing one of the guys' shirts if she's not on the team? She's wearing a BPK away jersey. Why? SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON? "No shit I'm a girl. I'm going to get something to drink. Do you fuckers want anything?" she asks.

Luxord and Xaldin—an English-looking guy and a muscle-head wrestler-type respectively—put in orders for beers. Axel says 'no thanks'. When Larxene turns around, her short blonde hair doesn't budge and I wonder how much gel she uses to get those pokey antenna things to stay still. But when I read the jersey's back it all makes sense.

The name is _FLYNN_ and the number is 8.

I don't know whether to be happy he isn't set on me or to be pissed that another girl has his jersey. So I pass it off as an IDGAF thing because really, I don't care. He can do what he wants. Besides if he likes her it makes me going after Roxas easier.

And it's time to break the fourth wall!

:| _So you know how everything is kind of a load of crap? This actually doesn't help me. I feel kind of used, but right now I would never admit to that because I wouldn't want to make Axel upset. But I think he doesn't know that he made _me_ upset by giving that girl his jersey._

_I think if a guy likes a girl he should just do something about it and if the girl has to make the first move she should. In Axel's case, he should stop being around me and go for this girl._

_Wait… I saw that look in his eye. He was watching her when she walked away._

_My foot is going up his ass if he doesn't do something about this._

"YOU DUMB BITCH!" is screamed suddenly in my face, breaking me away from my thoughts. Or maybe it's the major slap right across my cheek that snaps me into reality.

"What the fuck?" I sneer, rubbing the side of my face. The slap didn't really hurt, but it did really shock the shit out of me and I have no idea where it came from. So yeah, I'm pretty fucking mad.

You wanna know who had the _nerve_ to hit me?

"YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!" The shrieking ruptures my eardrums and I feel a migraine coming on. I blink a few times and make sure I'm hearing this right.

As in, is the song in the background _Pessimist_ by TAT? Because if it is, Crotch has great taste in music. I love this song. It's all rotten angst.

Like I was saying, want to know who had the _nerve_ to accuse me of 'ruining everything'? Poor prostitute is about to have all the anger of this song released upon them in a wave of wrath like no one has ever seen come from me in my entire life.

I clench and unclench my fists a few times, wipe my mouth with the back of my hand then send a punch flying right into her face—right into _Kairi's_ face. A twisted snigger shows up extremely visibly on my face. Axel has taken a few shocked steps back, as well have his friends.

"Excuse me, what was that?" I ask her evilly, cracking my knuckles. She's covering her nose and I presume that's what the pops and cracks are coming from. "_You_ have the fucking _nerve_ to accuse _me_ of ruining everything for _you_?" I grab the collar of her skanky black shirt and slam her into the wall. She yelps. "YOU are the fucking most SELFISH BITCH in the world for even _daring_ to say something like that. You have fucked up _everything_ I have ever wanted in my life. You DESTROYED it. ALL of it," I snarl, not daring to yell at her for fear of looking like the bad guy.

"YOU'RE the selfish bitch!" she yells back at me, kicking her feet.

Did I mention her feet are about a foot away from the ground? Yeah. The bitch is so light I can throw her higher than my height and hold her there with little effort.

Maybe I'm just strong.

Or maybe I'm just really pissed off.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I exasperate, holding my knee between her spread legs so she can't keep kicking me in the same spot anymore. I mean she's _really_ pissing me off! I release her with one hand and now she's hanging a little lower and her shirt is shocking her.

It's time to show my true colors.

The hat's coming off.

I take Cookie Monster off my head and toss him aside. My flaxen hair is probably a wreck, but my eyes are set to kill and I want her to know it. I don't care if my bangs are rough and edgy right now and my cheeks are red with rage. I don't _care_ if I'm wearing Roxas's jersey and his clothes and I don't _care_ if I don't know where Sora is. I don't care if everyone's watching and I don't care that I'm about to commit homicide.

Kairi keeps squirming in my grip and I plant my extra hand firmly back against her shoulder, holding her to the wall. At least now she can't keep writhing like someone is sexing her brains out.

She squeals, "HE WON'T TALK TO ME!"

"I repeat, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

"He said he doesn't want me. He said he doesn't want to be _around_ me!"

"Well then that's his problem, not mine!" I remind her animatedly, digging the heel of my palm into her collarbone. She writhes some more. Oh LORD is this fun or what?

"N-no!" Kairi tries to hit me in the face again, but I lean back a little, just out of her weak reach. "I-it's _your_ fault! You did this!"

I roll my eyes. "How did _I_ do this? I've stayed out of the way of this thing you've developed. Besides, it just happened today! How can it be over already?"

"Because…of…YOU!" she snarls. Her knee comes up to her stomach and her foot goes straight into mine, knocking the wind out of me. I drop her accidentally and cough, trying to catch my breath. Oh shit. That almost hurt.

Almost: it only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

"I'm sure you're just being dramatic," I choke out while attempting to stand upright. I'm not going to lose my pride in a fight against this bitch. No way am I going to lose to Kairi.

I bet her nose is still bothering her. There's a little blood on her face and the whole right side of her nose and a little of her cheek is black and blue. Her jaw looks a little out of place, too. Her clothes are all disheveled and her face is flushed. She looks like she's about to cry.

Well ain't she a sight for sore-eyes?

"I'm not," she pauses to take a few heavy, shaky breaths. She looks like she's going to break under the weight of them.

And suddenly, I feel guilty…

"I'm not being dra…dramatic. H-h-he said he made a mistake… with the karaoke place and the coming here with me and the behind-your-back stuff…" she huffs.

And suddenly I don't! Ha! Isn't it great how that works?

"What 'behind my back' stuff might that be?" I ask, folding my arms over my chest and exploiting her with my glare. She turns red and has a 'crap I'm screwed' look on her face. I've got her right where I want her. "Come on, _Kai_. We're sisters. You can tell me _anything_."

A sob erupts from her. "We were going behind your back since the day at the Rec when we saw them." It's more than understandable that she's talking about Axel and Roxas; and she's telling me that she's been secretly with Roxas since the first day we saw them again.

My knees go weak and I slide down, falling down onto them.

_She really did beat me again…_

"But he tells me that he doesn't want anything to do with me and he told me it's because of _you_," she spits, making a show of towering over me menacingly. I don't think I've ever seen her look so cruel…

_I waited nine years for a chance…and she took it away in nine minutes…_

"This is _all your fault_," she declares, pointing at me shamelessly like she's pinning the blame.

I'm stronger than this. I'm stronger than the tears that start pouring from my eyes and I'm stronger than the way my head hangs limply, my hair falling in front of my face, saving me from more disgrace. She's always gotten everything she wanted. She was always…the favorite, the pretty one, the popular one. She had all the boyfriends. She was always the girlfriend. I was always the friend-girl. I was nothing more than that. And she always made sure it stayed that way.

I'm stronger than this… but I'm not better than it. I'm not better than her and I never have been. As far as anyone should be concerned I never will be.

"Naminé!" Riku, Xigbar, and Demyx's voices all call out to me in unison. I hear them entering the room and I hear them running closer to me.

I clamp my eyes shut and cover my face with both of my hands, hiding the infamy I've brought myself. This really is my fault…

A hand places itself on my shoulder as someone kneels down next to me. It turns out to be Demyx and I only know because he's the only guy I know who wears his hair like that and I can see Riku and Xigbar's feet inching closer to Kairi through the cracks between my fingers.

"Ssh," Dem hushes me, pulling me closer to him. "Nami, it's not your fault…" he tries to tell me. I just shake my head.

"What the hell is your problem, Kairi?" I hear Xigbar asking her angrily. I wonder if he's about to pull a gun out from somewhere because the gods know he'd do that. He sounds so pissed and I can see his boots getting closer to her flip-flops and I really don't care what he does to her.

"You've always done shit to Naminé. She's never done anything to you," Riku's agitated voice reminds her. "What the fuck gives you the right to say those things?"

Kairi babbles and stammers like the idiot loser piece of trash she is. "S-she ruined my chances."

"You've had plenty of chances, Kairi," Riku tells her sternly. I can hear the stress in his voice. I kind of wonder if he's going to hit her and pray to God he doesn't because someone would complain about it.

"Hey, what's going on…in…here?" Sora walks in at the _wrongest_ wrong moment that he ever could. He stops at the kitchen's entrance and stays dead in his tracks, unmoving. His eyes pop open wide. I lift my head slowly so I can watch, the tears still coming down. Sora looks shocked.

"Sora, stay out of this," Demyx warns him more cautiously than threateningly. It's like he's trying to protect Sora from the inevitable, which _will_ happen knowing the brunet.

To my surprise though, he backs out of the room. I see a head of dusty blond hair flip and a pair of oceanic blue eyes watching me sadly before the person turns away and follows Sora. Of course he would; they're family after all.

I sway as I stand up, determined to get the last word in in this argument. Kairi stares at me, utterly awestruck. Riku and Xigbar watch as well, both with concern weighted in their eyes.

I clap a few halfhearted times. "Way to go, Kairi… You always know how to ruin my life."

Kairi gets closer to me like she's going to try hurting me again, but Demyx immediately leads me out of the room, out of the house, and out to the car. The last thing I see are Riku and Xigbar blocking her from leaving and both put her in her place with words as opposed to physical violence. I'm relatively happy it didn't resort to that, but I wish I could've hurt her just a little bit more for everything she's done to me.

"Naminé…" Demyx's soothing voice comforts me. He has me lean against the car he, Xigbar, and Riku showed up in and rubs my back consolingly. He allows me to rest my head on his shoulder.

Right now I wish I could just die.

I fall asleep on Dem's shoulder, which is better than the alternative. But it's all hollow.

It's all just tears…and pain…and hatred…and one major question.

_Where were you?_

* * *

**A/N: **THREE DAYS IN A ROW! YEAH BABY, WHO'S ON A ROLL? I AM, THAT'S RIGHT. AND WHO CALLED IT? WHO CALLED THE FUHKIN DRAMA? I DID. AGAIN. YEEEAH, BABY!

So what'd you think of THAT? Was THAT satisfying for your dramatic needs? Was that what you wanted? Because it was another long chapter and I've already started working on the next, kids. I'm really excited now because the next chapter is like a continuation of this chapter. I just didn't want a 6,000 word chapter. Can't stand 'em that long without breaks, but these are kind of scenes, so... And anyway I had waaaay too much fun writing this chapter, especially Namsy's most badass moment. Then she just broke. Don't call it unrealistic, because it happens. A lot. You suddenly realize something and everything comes crashing down on you? Yeah, that's what happened.

To the anonymous reviewers that are so lovely and sweet to me: you don't have to be afraid if you don't have an account. I just _really_ wish I could talk to you guys and remind you of how much you're appreciated ^.^  
And thanks to all you lovely reviewers that sign in, as well. There were seven reviews on the last chapter in less than 24 hours and that made me so very happy you have no idea.

W/Love, Scotty :]


	12. The Aftermath

**Twelve  
**_Aftermath_

_His hand lightly caresses my cheek, tracing over all my imperfections and not seeming to mind a single one of them. His eyes wash me over with a sense of calm and I have the strangest sense of being eye-raped. He takes one hand, locks it on the back of my head, and plays with my hair a little before pulling me into the most perfect, beautiful kiss imaginable, and we're flying. I feel like I never have before and even though my eyes are wide in shock, there's nothing to it. _

_It's soft. _

_It's sweet._

_I would expect nothing less from him. He pulls back the slightest bit and presses his forehead to mine, our noses ghosting over each other teasingly, Eskimo kissing back and forth. Finally, after all this time waiting, the words are whispered to me._

_"Naminé… Wake up…" _

_Hey wait, those aren't the words he's supposed to say!_

_"You have to change…"_

_I don't want to change!_

_"Wake up, Nams. You have to change."_

_I remember I am still asleep and frown in both my dream and reality._

Who the hell is daring to tell me to change?

"The hell's your problem?" I yell, being woken up abruptly from an awesome dream. He was just about to confess his love for me! I was just about to hear someone tell me they loved me! Who in fucking _hell_ had the nerve to ruin that?

"…Nothing?"

Oh wait, it's just Sora. I groan and rub my eyes tiredly. They open slowly, mostly because they don't want to open at all. The first thing I see is a set of red numbers on an alarm clock reading 1:08 am. They're coming out of pitch black and it's disturbing my eyes.

I roll over and face my friend. Even in the darkness I can see he has 'sorrow' written all over his face. "Baby what's wrong?" I ask, forcing myself to sit up. My back cracks in three places. I wince at the pain then return my attention to Sora. His hair is straight down and I assume he just took a shower. I rest a hand on his shoulder and find myself subconsciously rubbing it. I'm tired. I don't care. I just want to go back to sleep.

"You can't sleep in Roxas's clothes, so I brought you something from your grandma's house…" he tells me mildly.

I raise an eyebrow and yawn, stretching out my aching back in the process. I scratch my head, nodding like I get what is going on. "How'd you know where my grandma lives?"

"…Roxas told me. It's apparently just _known_ that you live there."

I nod again, only less this time because I yawn midway through. "Alright, lemme at it." He hands me a pile of what I presume is clothing. Mindlessly I start stripping, not caring who sees or what happens because of it.

When I'm sitting around in girl-boxers and my bra I begin to redress. Turns out he brought me my favorite pair of pajama shorts- that I know purely by the feel –that are black and white and checkered along with a camisole- another one of my favorites that's white. I lie back down on the bed (I think it might be a futon) and pat the large empty space beside me. Sora sighs and reluctantly lies down next to me.

I roll over to face him, lying comfortably on my side, and ask what the matter is.

"I… I just wish she would've told me, you know?" His tone is already battered and broken by the end of that first sentence. Opposed to complaining about Kairi like I normally would, I just nod my head and encourage him to let it all out. "If she doesn't like me like that she didn't have to lead me on back home. She doesn't have to pretend she likes me, y'know? And it really sucks because I've liked her since… since as long as I've known you two. Do you _know _what it's like to see someone you've liked for so long just start going with someone you care about?"

I blink a few times and chuckle to myself. "As a matter of fact…"

Sora inhales sharply and starts apologizing a billion times over. "I'm sorry. I forgot about him for a second. I am _so_ sorry."

I shake my head. "Nah, it's no big deal." I add under my breath, "It's not like I had a shot anyway…"

Sora sighs. "No, don't say that, Naminé. You of all people deserve a chance with him. You've liked him for so long a-and you've always created great artwork inspired by your feelings for him. Remember during the school year when you did that piece for Mr. Mason that earned you the tech award?"

I smile softly in reminiscence. It was my best work ever.

It started with a simple drawing of a basketball and slowly, slowly it became so much more. The basketball was going into the net, but the net was made of vines that had more thorns than flowers budding on them. The rim was made of wood. The backboard was made of a waterfall, part of which was iced over. The basketball transformed as well; it was no longer orange, but it was a glowing pale blue like it had iced over like the backboard. All the colors that weren't water related were dark purples, greens, reds, browns… I think the most important thing about the piece is the fact that in the background there were streaks of sunlight against trees. The lighting I had created put shadows to the letters carved in the trees, which when you look at is as a whole reads _Roxas.**(AN)**_

I'm a sucker for subtle hints at emotion.

I had worked a total of 27 hours on it—half an hour a day out of each class period for over half of the semester before I finished. I had won not only tech award, but an A+ on my final and the digital art award as well.

"Yeah… I remember," I assure Sora dreamily. If only I could show Roxas how hard I worked on that. Maybe he'd realize how hard I'm willing to work toward an 'us'…

"See? You had called it _Swish_, I think. And you told me that one day, when you finally claim Roxas for your own…"

"That's the day… I'll get my _swish_…" I finish for him, tears teeming in the ducts of my eyes. A couple spill over and roll down my cheeks. I remember that hope I had. I remember it so vividly.

It was all crushed so quickly… like the Twin Towers on 9/11.

Sora nods, his hair rustling against the pillow. He grasps one of my hands reassuringly with his own and gives it a snug squeeze. I can hear him smiling. Through it all, he's still smiling. "You'll get your swish. I promise."

I yawn. I am starting to feel drowsy again. My lids are heavy, pleading to close them. I don't let them. Not yet. "What…about you?"

I hear him shrug. I think I hear him whimper softly too. "Not sure," he admits, yawning. (Yawning is definitely contagious.) "I will when you do…"

"Why can't you go first?" I whine, my eyes finally shutting. My breathing steadies.

"Because," he says, shifting a little, "Kairi doesn't deserve to get her swish."

"And I do?" I ask.

"More than anyone else."

Those are the last words I cohere before falling back asleep into beautiful dreams that warp reality to what I want—to what I _need_, to how things _should_ be but are not. And all I can think is a silent thank-you to Sora to being the best brother I never had.

-(NC)-

Afternoon comes too rapidly. I feel like I got two hours of sleep yet it's already _noon._ I never sleep in this late. I feel like a wreck to boot and I could really use a hug right now. I could have sworn I fell asleep next to Sora, but he must be up because I'm alone.

I'm alone… Aren't I always?

I swing my legs over the side of the bed. I feel a pain in my stomach from yesterday when Kairi kicked me. Istand up, and shuffle over to the door. Does it ever occur to me that I am not in my house? Yeah, but I feel dead right now. I can't form a single vocal word separate from my thoughts, my heart has been shredded into more pieces than humanly possible, and I wish something would just kill me right now.

Right outside the door is a set of stairs I almost miss. Literally, if I didn't blink when I did I would be falling down them right now. I lazily trail down them at a frustratingly slow pace. A turtle's pace.

That's me: Naminé the dead turtle.

I blink some more, rub my eyes, scratch my foot, and sniff. I smell pancakes. Homemade chocolate chip pancakes that are fresh and possibly topped with whipped cream. Oh God, I could really go for those right now, but if I burst in all hungry like a pig that would give the wrong impression. I'm obviously not at my grandmother's house. I mean this place does look familiar, but…

Oh. It's _his_ house.

The devil's house.

The house of the boy who broke my heart like a mirror on Friday the thirteenth.

Roxas's house.

I don't hear a lot of noise coming from the kitchen- more from the dining room. I think everyone must be worn out from yesterday. It was a horrible day. Sure, I got my first kiss with a guy and it was a good-looking guy, but… That good-looking guy didn't protest when I got in a physical fight with my sister and broke her nose. He didn't interfere. My friends—the people that truly deserve my first kisses but can no longer have—protected me from both Kairi and myself.

Gosh… I wasted my first kiss on the wrong person. I know I should've waited and kissing might not seem like a big deal to some people, but it is to me. I had one 'relationship' prior to this sort-of thing I have with Axel and it was with a girl and she was abusive. She physically, mentally, and emotionally abused me in all possible ways. She beat me. She insulted me. She reminded me how worthless I am. She was the only person I had ever kissed before now… and I had thought I loved her.

Here I am now, wishing with all my heart that I _hadn't_ kissed Axel because he couldn't be the kind of guy I needed. I guess it has been no-strings-attached; he obviously has a _real_ thing for that blonde girl from the party. What was her name? Larxene..?

I could've had any of my guy friends, even the ever-gay Demyx, give me my first meaningful kiss, but I had to waste it in the midst of a sweet moment. I was destroyed after it anyway because of how… I don't want to think about it. I don't want to think about Kairi kissing Roxas.

I just… I can't anymore.

I… I give up…

I take silent steps into the kitchen, taking great care in going unnoticed. The last thing I want is attention.

Yet of course I get it from Aqua faster than you can say 'ignore me'. She gives me this look that is mostly pity, but partially empathy. I don't know what she thinks she knows about the situation, but I think she thinks she knows it has something to do with her son. If she thinks that, she's definitely on the right track.

"Good morning, Naminé," she meets me with that motherly twinkle in her eye. I wonder how she feels about some random girl staying here. I guess I'm not all that random since I've known her since I was in elementary school. How could anyone forget those warm blue eyes and her crazily colored hair that she _always_ dyes and re-dyes blue?

"'Morning, Aqua…" I whisper. I don't think I could talk any louder if I tried. It would cause me to fall over in my moment of major weakness. I would break down crying. I would lose it.

"Would you like pancakes, sweetheart?" Aqua asks me. She lifts the pan and shows off an 8-inch pancake like she's proud of it. It has melted chocolate chips sticking out of it and I undeniably want some.

I nod.

"One or two?"

I hold up two fingers and find my way to the dining room. Roxas's dad—his name is Ventus, I think, and he's identical to his son—is sitting at a rectangular, oak table's head. To his left is Roxas and across from Roxas on the other side of Ventus is Sora. Ventus is flipping through Sports Illustrated. Sora looks enamored by his pancakes. Roxas just looks… well… in the best way I know how to put it, he looks almost as bad as I feel.

Almost.

Remember: horseshoes and hand grenades.

I stumble, tripping on the edge of the tile when it morphs into carpet. I stop myself from falling on top of Roxas and circle around to the other side of the table, next to Sora. He acknowledges me with a sensitive smile and returns to his captivating pancakes.

I say nothing, just stare at the oak. I start tracing the strange patterns in it and end up doing so until Aqua comes in with a platter of two pancakes that really are captivating. They're topped with whipped cream, just like I was hoping. She also sets down a glass of pulp-free orange juice for me. Good. I don't like pulp. I don't like having to _chew_ a beverage.

"Eat up, okay? There's always more," Aqua tells me in this very host-like way. She even plasters on a ditzy smile solely for the purpose of emphasizing that effect. I try to smile back, but it only lasts a millisecond.

Paper slams against the oak. I convulse, shocked by the broken quiet. Ventus stands up. He says, "I'm going to the gym. Make yourself at home while you're here, Naminé."

I nod. It's become my standard response for the afternoon. Sora and Roxas mutter good-byes.

I listen when Sora asks Roxas, "Why was your mom making pancakes at noon? Shouldn't this be breakfast?"

Roxas shrugs. "None of us woke up before eleven-thirty other than her and dad…" he answers tiredly. I peek up at him through my shield of bangs and drink his appearance with my eyes. He's in a red wife-beater and most likely a pair of boxers. His hair is sticking out in every-which-way, which means it looks like it normally does for him. His heartbreaking blue eyes have bags and rings under them, making me inquisitive as to how much sleep he got.

Sora nods and continues digging into his pancakes. I swear food always makes that boy feel better. He's acting like nothing's wrong. His body language gives him away though; it gives all three of us away. All three of us together can't stand the idea of breaking the silent pact that's come between us.

And to think… I'm only going to be out here for one more week before I have to return to New Hampshire… I think I'll go back with Sora, Riku and them. I'd rather drive than spend time with Kairi.

Times from this past week are flashing through my head: the Rec Center, the Homedays, the karaoke, the swimming pool incident where I almost died, Sora showing up and turning out to be Roxas's cousin, the basketball game, my friends showing up and surprising me to the point that I cried, and finally… my largest blowout with Kairi in the history of my life. So much has happened… it's been a very eventful week.

"And I only get one more before going home…" I don't mean to let the words slip from my lips, but it's the first sentence I've said since last night.

Sora doesn't tear his eyes from his pancakes but Roxas's thoughtfulness is swiftly shot in my direction. "One more what..?" he inquires.

I gulp down a bite of the most amazing, melt-in-your-mouth, homemade pancakes ever to be supplied or demanded. The chips are warm and gooey, the cake is fluffy, and it's way past perfection on Aqua's part.

"One more week…" I say, trying to make my voice louder than a whisper but failing. It just makes my throat sore from all the yelling. "I go home a week from today."

I don't know how to describe the emotions that flash in Roxas's eyes after I say that because there are so many I don't know how to pick apart one from another. I see hatred first… then I see mild anger and irritation. Then those become guilt and pity and remorse. Those morph into curiosity and wonder and finally… his eyes are void of visible emotion because he rubs them both.

"Only a week…" he repeats.

The infamous nodding on my part occurs.

Roxas, appearing defeated, returns to his pancakes with a nod mimicking the pathetic feebleness of my own. He takes a few bites of the world's best pancakes.

Realizing there will be no further conversation, I eat my pancakes in silence.

Who knows… maybe he's contemplating how to get Kairi back before we leave. Maybe he's thinking of what he's going to do once my slutty sister is gone. All I know is that the glimmer of regret that's now settled in his eyes is gut-wrenching and I wish I was never given this chance to be close to him. My heart is already destroyed. I don't need his shame bringing guilt into this on my part. Me? I regret nothing.

Heh… the most contradictory lie in the world. Au contraire, children; I regret it all. I regret meeting Roxas Colton in second grade. I regret wasting my thoughts on him. I regret wasting my feelings on him. I regret wasting my artwork on him.

I guess I don't regret it all. Just Roxas Colton.

Yeah. He's something very special alright…

* * *

**_(AN)_** I bet you noticed that when it randomly appeared in the story. That's because I have something to ask.  
If you're good at drawing or CG or art of any type, I want to see your interpretation of that. I mean, I'd really like you to make a version of that. Then just dA it pB it, whatever it is you do, let me know it's up there and who it's under, that kinda thing. I'm going to be doing an interpretation of it as well and I want to see what **YOU** saw when you read that.

Namely it's because I'm surprised this story is so-apparently-loved but no one's done anything like that. Not gonna lie; I'm jealous of those stories that have extremely devoted fans. Like... Like _City Girl Dreamer_. Ever read her stuff? I'm jealous of her. I want to be like her. And so I am trying to make this the best I can so I can beat her in my twisted, mental, one-sided competition I have going on in my head. Also, I think it'd be funny if she read this story and found this note. I have a feeling she'd be like, 'wtf...?' That'd amuse me greatly.

**A/N:** Four days. FOUR DAYS in a row for you prostitutes. Is it me, or am I being extremely nice this week? I have another chapter written up for tomorrow because I'm out/I _was _out today. And y'know what? I didn't even wait for late tonight to post this so if it comes later tomorrow, don't be gettin' all snarky on me.

Could anyone else see that Namine is sinking into the depression? I don't think I swore once in this chapter. I tried changing how she acts and her personality because she's so worn out. Is it visible? I mean, does it _work_? Because if it works I want to know. Can you feel it, Mr. Krabs? Well? Can you?

You guys are... what can I say? You're extremely nice to me and I love that about each of you. And you _know_ I get back to most of you with review responses and if I don't I'm sorry. In that case you're probably anonymous or I didn't have time. (_Random KH Fan Girl, this means you. Yes you. YOU. WITH THE FACE, YOU. Along with the other lovely anons._) I'm just... I feel like... See, writing is legitimatelly my life. It's the only thing I ever want to do with my time and life. Knowing that people are enjoying what I'm writing... It just... it brings tears to my eyes and joy to my heart. So thank you for your amazingly wonderful support and sorry of the terribly long AN. You can go now.

Love. Always. :)  
Scottttty


	13. ABCs of Doom

**Thirteen  
**_The ABCs of Hell_

The awkward morning (with the pancakes) was two days ago, meaning I still have five days left on my trip. I haven't found it anywhere in my heart to leave the Colton residence. It's more like an unspoken known fact that I'm staying there. Aqua adores me and Ventus… doesn't mind me, I guess. He's a nice enough guy but he doesn't talk much. Yesterday was rather interesting and let me tell you why. I call it, Naminé's ABCs of Hell (replace with 'havoc' for clean-minded people).

**A**t six in the morning Sora woke me up because a spider was on crawling on him.

**B**ecause of this, I had only gotten four hours of sleep _and _had to kill the bug.

**C**ompared to the previous day this was great.

**D**uring breakfast I spoke to Roxas for the first time in a normal peoples' conversation.

**E**ven if we were discussing basketball teams and games and stats, including his own team's, it was still an actual conversation… no matter how much it pained me to have it.

**F**inals, too; he's very excited that he and the guys are going to the semis. I think they'll win in the finals this year.

**G**ood thing I won't be there to see the game because I would die if I had to see Roxas running around the court all sweaty and desirable. I _really_ don't want that.

**H**ell broke loose when Sora and I met up with Riku, Demyx, and Xigbar at the gazebo outside the library around one. We all sat in there talking about things we didn't really care about. The previous day's part incident was not mentioned until Dem made a stupid comment about it.

**I**t really pissed off Riku. He almost blew a fuse but kept it quiet and merely gave a firm warning that things happened there that should not be spoken of. Well, they can be…

**J**ust not around me. They can talk about it, but not around me because they know I'll continue to sink into this depression I've gotten myself into. It's nothing short of a slump at it sucks.

**K**airi better be happy she got what she wanted; she beat me, I lost. She got the time with Roxas that I wanted and I am jealous to no end, but there's nothing I can do about it no matter how much I like him.

**L**ike… at that point I decided that I don't exactly 'like' Roxas. I've 'liked' him for so long that it's evolved into something totally different. It's a monster- an evil, conniving monster with a death grip on my broken heart.

**M**aybe that monster's name is 'love'. But what do I know? I was practically mute as of the day before this all happened.

**N**o one brought up the party after that. Except Axel, who texted me a few times throughout the day wondering what my problem was. I was tempted to text back and cuss him out for even daring to bring up that party, but I ended up telling him that we should really just be friends.

**O**h, how fun that one was. He called me while I was sitting there with my posse of friend-boys and started asking me all these questions about why I was saying what I was saying. I told him we would be better as friends because that's all we are anyway. He agreed eventually.

**P**lease Lord, let Larxene have better luck with that guy than I ever will.

**Q**uietly around six pm after a day of loitering with the guys, we all decided to go our separate ways. Sora returned to Roxas's house. Demyx and Xigbar went wherever they've been staying.

**R**iku refused to let me go a different way. He invited me out. I went back to the Colton house, changed into something slightly more feminine (as in a simple white dress down to my mid-thigh and a pair of white Converses), and rejoined him outside the house. Roxas had bid me a quiet farewell from the stoop, which he'd been sitting on thoughtfully for a while.

**S**o Riku took me out on a legitimate date-like date to the Olive Garden. He was a total perfect gentleman, pulled my chair out, paid the whole tab even though _I_ wanted to go Dutch… It was the ideal date.

**T**he only problem was that I wasn't on it with my ideal guy. I say 'my' ideal guy because Riku is 'the' ideal guy. As much as I would love to be friends with benefits or something with him, I can't see him as my boyfriend. We're just… We're too good of friends.

**U**sually when you have something with someone, you expect it to grow and blossom. Sometimes it because something more. Under that assumption, friends become lovers, et cetera. Riku and I can _never_ be more than friends. We have to be friends, FWBs, whatever. But we can't be more than friends because I just don't like him like that. I can't like him like that. It's like… liking a step-relative in a way, only less creepy.

**V**ery shortly after our _amazing_ date—which was perfect conversationally, too; there was never a break in conversation and it all flowed perfectly—Riku dropped me back off at the Colton house, where he asked me the strangest thing.

**"W**ell? Did you get it out yet?" he asked me. I questioned him on what he meant. He simply told me, "Your urge to go against how you're really feeling."

E**x**cuse me? I had no idea what he meant by that. I didn't know what to make of it. Knowing how cryptic he sounded it probably had something to do with Roxas. To humor him, I gave him the answer I knew he wanted.

**"Y**es." Something about saying that word was freeing as I skipped up to the doorstep. I waved good-bye to Riku. He drove away.

**Z**ealously I opened the door, feeling a hell of a lot better than I had before, only to find Sora sitting there with _my_ cellphone in _his_ hand.

"Dude, why do you have my phone?" I asked him.

He turned his head to me slowly. He was crying. I immediately rushed to sit beside him to comfort him with whatever was going on. I honestly had no idea, so I looked at him with all seriousness and made sure he knew that was sympathy on my face, not Olive Garden breadstick.

"Sora, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

He nodded. He was biting his lip. My good mood started to sink right then and I should've realized it would only get worse from there. Sora handed me my phone with shaky hands. He had the voicemail number dialed. I held the device up to my ear.

"_To replay this message, press star._"

I pressed the asterisk key, just below the seven and beside the zero.

"_Hello, Naminé. This is Morgan, Marluxia's mom? I-I'm calling to tell you that h-he was in a plane crash during his training to go into the Air Force. I-I wanted to let you know that… you won't be seeing him when you return from your trip. Oh dear… this is difficult. I told myself I wouldn't cry… M-Marluxia had something he wanted me to give you, so I'll be sending it in the mail today. I hope you don't mind that I looked up your grandmother's address to send it to you… It needs to get there as fast as possible a-and I'm sorry. The dates of the funeral are…"_

…I didn't listen to any more after that.

I couldn't bring myself to the point of _not _throwing my phone right across the Colton's living room. I couldn't bring myself to the point of _not_ punching pillows and tearing at my hair and screaming and crying. I couldn't stop the volcano of emotions erupting within me. It was anger. It was hate. It was pain. It was sadness. It was remorse. It was all of the above and it was terrible.

I looked at Sora, who had nothing more to say than an informative point that the message was from yesterday late afternoon and I had missed it. I almost killed him right there I was so upset.

Marluxia, with his dyed hair and innocent demeanor. Marluxia with his love for all things naturally beautiful. Marluxia… who wanted so badly to get away from the cards he was dealt that he risked his life in a reshuffle and was dealt a worse hand than before.

Marluxia who was dead.

My friend was dead.

I couldn't think for the rest of the day after that. I couldn't really talk because it just made me cry. I didn't want to think about how angry I was that he did this to himself. At the same time I was anxious to see what it was he wanted his mother to give me that was so damn important.

That night, the night before the day I started this… this memoir of thoughts at—the day after the day following the party… That night I cried. Also that night I became a little more me again. Because the last words I whispered before curling up in the sheets and praying for sleep? Those words were 'fuck my life'. And never had I been so articulate in speaking them.

* * *

**A/N:** O.o ...it's short... very short... And I apologize for the shortness, but this is how it had to be to flow into the next chapter. -.- AND I'm spoiling you because next chapter I'm finally putting Roxy and Nams together. I'm getting sick of them being so platonic. And also, that chapter is the REAL longest one in the story. I believe it cracked 4,000 words and I was so proud that I wrote it all in one sitting. On the other upside, Namine's depression is coming to an end next chapter, as the mood lightens and she shall start being lively again for the final stretch of the story. :D

Thanks to _Kiome-Yasha_ and the staff of Four Colors of Love for including this story in that community. :') I'm so happy it's worthy. Just yesterday even, I think I noticed seven people favorite-storied this and I'm just like, WOW. HOLY FRICK. YOU. ARE. AMAZING.

Your reviews are too kind for words and you're all wonderful. I'm sorry if I don't respond to some of them, but I do try to get to all of them. Anony reviewers, I really wish I had the chance to talk to you. Signed-in peeps, you're awesome. Who am I kidding, you're all awesome and I love you. :3

Love, (See, I told you I love you!)  
Scottttty


	14. Relapse and Recovery

**Suggested listening for this chapter:**

_Scars by Papa Roach_ _  
The Kill by 30 Seconds to Mars  
Candle (Sick and Tired) by The White Tie Affair  
Someone Like You by Safetysuit_

Listen to each to whatever point you see fit, but Safetysuit should be listened to through Roxas's confession. It just fits.  
Sorry for the random note. I wanted to let you know of this wonderful list of songs before you read the chapter.

**Fourteen**  
_Relapse & Recovery_

"…"

"…"

That's the sound of me having a stare-down against Roxas's dad. You know, Ventus? Roxas, Aqua, and Sora are all outside in the backyard. I don't feel like going outside and Ventus is drying off from his post-workout shower at the Rec Center. His hair is still wet. I guess that's what Roxas's would look like if his was wet. They _are_ identical.

Unlike how I would be with Roxas though, I'm not freaked out by having a staring contest with his dad. I have one eyebrow raised lazily, like I'm daring him to blink. I haven't blinked in three minutes. Neither has he. It's pretty amusing, if you ask me. I bet I look frightening, though; when I looked in a mirror this morning my eyes weren't blue. They were gray. Cold, iron gray. Dead. Steel. Empty. Void.

Ventus's eyes are the same color as Roxas's. It's no doubt where Roxas gets his looks from. He's not a girl so it couldn't be Aqua anyway. His dad—I'm not creepy for saying this, just remember that—is _very_ attractive.

I don't want to lose this staring contest at all. I know it's weird to get obsessive over something insignificant, but I feel like this is keeping me… visible? Like if someone isn't acknowledging that I exist, in that one moment I don't have attention I'm going to fade way—disappear like a sock in the dryer, vanish like a creamsicle, evaporate like the water in a small pond during a drought in the middle of summer. That is what will happen to me if I go unnoticed. I will die.

Maybe not _die_, but in those few nano-moments I will find an escape hatch and jump ship out of this life and into the next one. I want to get out. More than anything I want out of this cage and I'll do anything to break the bars. I have no pride left to defend, no morals left to hold myself to. Marluxia is dead, Kairi is ignoring me and not in the slightest trying to make up for what she did, Roxas is… he's Roxas. He's been getting ready for the semifinals. The first game of those is today. I think it's an away game, too. I wasn't planning on going, even though I really want to…

I want to see the MVP play one more game before I go home no matter how much it's going to kill me inside to watch.

Tears are poking at my ducts and I'm trying not to cry. I keep telling myself I'm not in the presence of someone who would understand- who would cease from judging me for my tears. Forgetting about the staring contest, I wipe my eyes and sniff.

Ventus blinks. I think he does it on purpose. He asks me with concern in his raspy voice, "Why are you crying?"

I shake my head. "It…it's nothing. Nothing important."

"If it's making you cry it's obviously important…" he tells me, turning his body on the couch so he's fully looking at me. I'm sitting in the chair to the left of the couch that is a very comfortable recliner. My bare feet are hanging off the edge. My arms are thrown lazily over opposite rests. "If you think I'm going to tell anyone…"

I shake my head. I try to talk, but no words can seem to come out. So I just give him a pleading look and beg him to understand.

In that _fatherly_ way I only believe _fathers_ (I wouldn't know for sure) can do, Ventus nods. His eyes shut. I'm faced with this loneliness and desire to see the eyes that remind me _so much_ of Roxas's. I wish that this was Roxas I am being mute toward instead of Ventus. I just want to talk to Roxas.

Is it pathetic that he's always on my mind..?

"Out of curiosity, does this have to do with my son?" Ventus asks. It's not an angry question or a nosy question. It's just… curious. I genuinely trust him when he says it's purely out of curiosity that he asks. His eyes open and he looks at me.

I think my cheeks turn pink. Nothing more than a baby pink, but they change from pale and washed-out to colored and somewhat bright the moment he asks me that. Are all dad's this good or is just a _Colton_-thing to be this amazing? If it's not just a Colton family trait, I wouldn't mind the idea of a father figure. I might not hate my stepfather so much. I might not want to die whenever I'm around him.

I admit my guilt as-charged to Ventus by nodding simply and averting my gaze from his eyes. Those eyes… are so much like his son's… it kills me to see them and know they don't belong to Roxas. I'm starting to forgive him for not doing anything at that party. I wouldn't have wanted to interfere either if I saw a fight like mine and Kairi's. None of us wanted him and Sora involved anyway. It just adds to the not talking about it. I don't think it bothers me anymore. I don't care that I haven't had much time to recuperate from the incident, but I don't think it matters. Do I have to hold a grudge? Does it have to irk me? He's not with Kairi. He doesn't hate me. I'm living under his roof in a room I discovered is right next to his.

To me that sounds like a respectable deal. I have more wins than losses… I guess…

I glance carefully back at Ventus, who appears to be in thought. His eyes are closed lightly, the tanned lids twitching subtly. His mouth is horizontal and this peculiar serenity is drawn into the situation because of this. He mildly says, "He's not a bad kid, you know…"

My eyes go wide. I shake my head furiously. "I-I know that!" I never even said anything, so why in the world would he make an assumption? Oh gosh I'm being mortified. Someone just shoot me.

"You have some tension between the two of you…"

I flush. "…It's that noticeable…?"

A goofy smile cracks on Ventus's face. He looks so much like his son it really does kill. "Yes. It is. I just think you should know a couple things about Roxas…"

_He wants to tell me something about his son? Is it me or is that rather weird that he wants to talk to me about his kid? What if he tells me something important?_

"He's not…" Ventus scratches his head in a clueless manner. He looks so youthful. "I know he acts a like a prick, but he's…" He sighs, looking for the right words. "He hasn't had luck with girls. He can never pick the right one and because of it he's kind of become a… Well, you see, he's…" He grumbles and rubs his eyes. "Look, basic gist is that he keeps going out with girls both Aqua and I obviously don't approve of and we both know he doesn't _really_ like them."

I raise an eyebrow. _What is he talking about? What is this supposed to mean?_

"You have my full permission to go into his room."

I blush. "Uh…"

Ventus's eyes go wide. He flushes like he's going to be sick. "No, not like that! I mean, in his nightstand he has binder. It's like a scrapbook with pictures from every year since we've moved to Brook Park. He and his friend Axel work on it with some help from the other guys on the team. I give you full permission to go into his room and look through it."

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. _Did I really just get authorization to go into Roxas's room and examine his belongings? Isn't that a little wrong?_ My face is hot and I know I'm blushing. This is insanely out of character for me, but I feel… happy? Guilty or…Nosy?

Yeah, I'm feeling very meddlesome.

"Mr. Colton, I…"

Ventus holds up his hand. It silences me. He says, "Don't worry about it. It's just like a giant timeline."

"And you want me to see this… because?" I ask unsurely. I really would like to know the point of all this.

"Just trust me on this one. You might learn something new." Ventus just gives me this smile of assurance that I can't not trust.

I think I start crying because I'm so thankful and so happy and so… relieved that someone is concerned enough for me to bother talking about this stuff. "Thank you, Mr. Colton," I whisper, wiping my eyes.

"Please, call me Ventus or Ven. 'Mr. Colton' makes me feel old."

I laugh quietly to myself. _Now where have I heard something like that before..?_

_"Just call me Aqua," she insisted. "I don't like feeling so old when people call me 'Ms. Colton.' My name is Aqua anyway…"_

I see why the two of them are good together. I see why they are married and I see why they have a son together; they're flawless as a couple. And I can't help wondering that, if something like that became of me and Roxas, would it be that… _beautiful_?

-(NC)-

I waited until everyone was out of the house other than me to go into Roxas's room. I feel so dirty going in here, but at the same time I don't mind because I'm just looking to find one thing then get out.

I throw open his door and walk in confidently. _No backing down now, I guess. _I manage to get a good look at his room. The carpet is navy blue and the walls are off-white. The organization is immaculate and everything is spotless. There are no clothes on the floor. There _are_ numerous basketball trophies, medals, and even a couple soccer medals. He has a few posters: one is Chuck Norris fact list, one Devil Wears Prada, and one of LeBron James (before his move against the Cavs). His bed is the only thing messy and that's because it's undone. It has red plaid sheets.

I spot the wooden nightstand and sharply pull open the top drawer, rifle through it, then do the same to the middle and bottom drawer. The bottom one is the only one with something that resembles a binder in it. It has a light blue cover and in black marker is drawn an edgy heart with wings and two keys going through it. They're pretty cool looking, I think.

I stare at Roxas's door. What if someone just comes in and finds me here? I should really close the door…

I do so, sit down on his unmade bed, and open to the first page.

It starts with three blocky letters: BPK. There's a picture of his team below the letters and his parents above it. With that, I begin flipping through the years, starting with 2002—our second-grade year; his first year here.

I learn that he used to like art and didn't like sports. He was still best friends with Axel. Kairi wasn't in that class with us, so she wasn't in the class photo. He was so short and cute back then. He was so adorable and huggable. It's too bad I didn't like him in the beginning of that year, because at the end of the grade two section was a picture I remember so vividly. It was of me looking irritated, Anastasia my old best friend, Roxas with his arm thrown around my neck, and Axel leaning on Asia's shoulder. Roxas was winking, Asia was blushing. Axel was grinning. I was half-smirking.

I smile at the fondness of the memory and go onto third grade. I remember Kairi being in my class that year, so she was in it with Roxas and Axel as well. Most of these pictures were of his first soccer team, him and his parents, him at Six Flags, or him with Axel. There weren't any of me in there, thankfully.

Fourth grade meant Kairi was still in our class. I was annoyed at that point because she liked him so much. There are pictures of Roxas with Axel, some other guys I don't remember, his first basketball team, and a couple of him looking very cute.

Fifth grade comes along. Oh gosh, that was the year Roxas first found out I liked him. It took him that long to figure it out and that fact always amused me. I recollect the day he approached me and simply said, "I know you like me." I almost exploded, but I didn't admit _or_ deny it. This was also the year his popularity skyrocketed, Kairi joined that kind of crew, and I started to slink into the tomboy class with the other jock girls. I had joined my first soccer team this year. It used to be my favorite sport.

All through fifth grade are pictures of his memories and whatnot that I find interesting. There are a couple with girls he seemed to have liked. His arms around them, him kissing them… I was insanely jealous. I think I'm more jealous now than I was back then. But right in the middle of the pictures of all these girls is a page with purple paper and smack dab in the center of it is a picture from the fieldtrip to Amish Country. It's… It's a picture of me and Kairi taken when we weren't looking.

_Why would he haves something like this…?_

I flip through sixth grade as fast as possible because I know that most of the pictures are from the grade trip when we went to Camp Mi-Bro-Be, which a giant camp is held for one week where you live there. It's weird for suburban kids to go somewhere like that because it's right in the middle of the woods. There are so many pictures of this trip I almost get sick.

And I almost get even sicker when I recognize a picture of Roxas dancing with me during one of the nighttime dances. Every night at Mi-Bro-Be there was a dance with fun music and they taught us to square dance and things like that, but there were also slow dances and more romantic songs. We were dancing together to one of those songs.

Ha… He was so collected when he asked me to dance. I got tons of death-glares from other girls, but I was in my heaven. I'm guessing Axel took this picture because I have my arms around Roxas's neck and Roxas has his arms around my waist. Under the picture is a quote from the song we danced to.

_"I just want you to know who I am…"_

Iris, by the Goo Goo Dolls was the song and it was the most striking three minutes of my life. I had never been happier.

After that are a couple photos of Roxas and Axel beating each other up.

I hear a door click and voices from downstairs. My eyes snap to the door. "Oh crap…" I mutter. I begin to flip through his seventh and eighth and ninth grade as fast as possible. I notice throughout those years that with all the girls he's in pictures with, he looks more and more empty. He looks sadder and sadder. He starts to look lost, no matter how many pictures are of him and his team he still in the end looks upset.

And then I finally hit this summer.

Never have I seen more pictures of myself before—not on Facebook, not in my house, not at my grandma's house, _nowhere_. There's a picture of me shooting hoops at the Rec with Axel and one of me shooting a half-court shot, a mass of really artsy shots that make me look gorgeous from the Homedays, a few from the karaoke bar and a couple from his basketball game that same day. There are also four, I think, of me at the party dancing on the table with Xigbar.

My face is bright red. _Is he stalking me? Holy hell! Holy fucking hell!_

And at the end of this summer thus far is one more shot from the Homedays of me on the Ferris Wheel when I was looking away. The shot showcases me tucking my hair behind my ear and his hand on mind. Across the page is a quote that I presume is from a song.

_"She's finding me out. It's bringing me down cuz nothing's as hard as the first time. I'm losing myself. She'll never be mine. It's too late now."_

The most important thing I notice about this entire binder with my involvement is that Kairi only shows up in pictures with me in them.

It's at that moment that I realize something important.

They say when you dream of someone they went to sleep thinking of you that night. When I had my dream about Roxas, he was thinking of me. So maybe there's a chance that he likes me…?

Maybe… I have a chance?

The door opens and standing there is a shocked Roxas with a deep red blush on his cheeks. He doesn't look at all angry at me, more like he's trying too hard to look mad because he's really not.

"What're you doing in my room and why do you…" He stops when he notices what, exactly, is in my hands.

I flush. "I-I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, Roxas. I didn't mean to… I mean… I didn't… Oh god this is… I'm sorry…" I slam the binder shut and hit my head against it repeatedly. _Shit this is so embarrassing!_

I hear the footsteps getting closer to me. His hand curls over the top of the binder and gently pulls it away from my face. He kneels down to my eye-level. I hang my head and avoid looking at him. I try to keep using my bangs as a blanket over my eyes. Roxas then proceeds to make me blush more by cupping the side of my face with one of his large, surprisingly smooth hands. He lifts my face and scans my face.

"Did you see?" he asks.

"Did I see what?" I utter out quickly and near inaudibly.

"You saw the pictures from this summer, didn't you?"

I admit to my shame by nodding and pushing his hand away so I can hide my face. "I'm sorry, Roxas. I came in here looking for my hat and I got nosy and went through your stuff to find it but I found this and it just sort-of happened…"

Roxas sighs and runs a hand through his sandy blond hair. "So what's the problem?"

My gaze shoots up to meet his. "W-what?"

"What's the problem? You saw. Do you get it?" he asks like he's talking to a child. A light blush begins to tint my cheeks. I press my legs together tightly and clasp my hands shut. I don't respond to his question, so he repeats it. I shake my head nervously. Then the weirdest thing, he smiles.

He _smiles_ at me. Not just with those pearly whites, but with the ocean blue, sparkling eyes. "I was going to wait for a better time, but now's a good a time as any." He inhales and in one breath he says three simple words. "I like you."

And then two extra words when he says, "I like you a lot."

And then I stop counting because he begins on this… this _confession_ that sounds like nothing short of poetry. "I've _always_ liked you. Even when you didn't like me I liked you. I always thought you were so unique and awesome. At first I just wanted nothing more than to be friends with you. Then when I found out you liked me I started thinking about it. Like, _what if_? When you moved away to New Hampshire, I… I totally fucking lost my mind. I went insane. I was so upset after you left and I thought I'd never see you again."

Did I mention I'm crying by this point?

"Then over the past couple summers I caught glimpses of you and then that day at the Rec last week when you were there…" He whistles lowly. "I was so shocked to see you. I didn't know what to do. I became an idiot for you. And I… I am _so sorry_ I made out with Kairi. I don't like her like that. I don't like her _at all_. I just remember Axel telling me that he liked you and I was so upset and I had to let him have you. I didn't want to, but I did because I'm a wimp and a loser and a dumbass. And all this time I just wanted…" He pauses and takes a breath. "I really want you, Nams. More than I've wanted any hotter or more popular girl."

I find myself giggling and tease him by saying, "Gee thanks…"

He blushes and smiles sheepishly. "Sorry. I said that as if there _is_ a hotter girl out there. But I don't think _hot_ works for you. You're charming and adorable." He strokes the side of my face. "You're funny and have the best personality in the world." He grimaces and rubs the back of his head awkwardly. "What I'm trying to say is that… I don't think I like you. I think there's a chance I might love you. I wouldn't know. I've never been in love. But if I was, I think this is what'd feel like."

"I…feel the exact same way," I tell him nervously, feeling this amazing swelling in my chest that's making me happy and giddy and smiley. "I think there's a chance I might love you too."

This stupid, goofy, Sora-like smile (that proves that they're related somehow) makes its way onto his face. Then he starts acting like an idiot. "I-I'm still sorry for what I did. I treated you like shit and I lead you on and—"

I interrupt him with the first thing that comes to mind. "Just shut up and kiss me already!" I demand.

And he settles his hands on my hips, leans in a hundred percent of the way, and kisses me with an amazing ferocity. It's like I just learned how to kiss in the past few days because I end up moving my mouth against his and it feels perfect.

It's more medication than I will ever need for depression.

Just like that, I'm me again. All it took was getting my _swish_.

Just. Like. That.

* * *

**A/N:** :3 Finally. I was so sick of not having them together. I want them to be together for the rest of her trip because it'll make the ending and epilogue I have planned out way cuter. But... ANYWAYS. This chapter really flowed when I wrote it. Out of curiosity, was it fluffy enough? Was it cute enough? Was it good enough? Important questions! :O

This is the longest chapter I've cranked out for this story thus far. I'm not sure if any will be longer but I'm proud of the ever-growing word count. Your reviews are the light in my dark, guys. Seriously, thank you. This story is coming up to the end soon and I'm going to hate finishing it because it's probably been my best story and having you all follow it so faithfully just... It brings tears to my dry eyes. (Now that I think about it I don't think I've cried since my trip to Ohio o.O) And just because I'm constantly updating doesn't mean you shouldn't _reviiiiiieeew_ because I still thrive off of feedback. **Also**, I most likely will _not _update tomorrow. So savor this chapter. :P

There it is.

Scotty


	15. Author's Note on Endings

**A/N: **Hai kids. This is **just going to be an author's note **and I'm sorry for that. :\ It's not an update. Boo-hoo. I apologize for getting your hopes up, but there are some things I'd really like to get across about the coming ending. Also, there's a review thanks list in this. In which all of you shall be listed. All's of you who reviewed, anyway. I don't have the attention span to add the alerted and faved people who've been following this story. This story... I'm flabbergasted. It's gotten to the point where on days I post chapters, it's getting over 100 views a day and for three days in a row over 200! I mean... HOLY EFF, MAN! Thank you all _so_ much for sticking with this. For me, that's _a lot_ of views and all your reviews are so sweet. :3

Speaking of which, here's the list in **no particular order **other than who I see on the page. So it's most to least recent.

_MyRealNameIsHiding, Random KH Fan Girl _(Who still needs a freaking user...),_ The Silence Will Set Me Free, Handwritten, _(The one that's supposed to be here was anon with no name)_, an1991656, GreyPurpleBlack, XxOoSolanaSkylarXxOo, purpleeninjaaa., coobearrocks, meeeee, Chakyyyy_ (SWSMF anon), _shoang, Tbaby13, anonymous_ (Amazing name, btw.),_ Ciel Denali, Sovereign Beta, smileydomino_**, **_shadowlysa5m, Daisha, Murkle Mugs, BlackButterfly9, xxStaticLove, lauffincookie11, TheMelodiousNocturne, Thehia _(JUNKERRRR!),_ One Sky-One Dream-One Destiny, king of hope._

I'm pretty sure that's it. o.o Took a while to type all those... So thanks to you guys. Peeps who faved and alerted don't go unnoticed either. I love them too.

**Here's the important part of this AN**.

There's something strange about the set-up of the ending of this story and how it's going to be. I'm writing 3 endings.  
(Gasp, THREE? WHY?)

Because, dear random person talking in parentheses, there are three endings I'd like to tell, each one curbing the needs of a specific type of fangirl.  
(YAAAAAY FANGIRLISM!)

'Kay, you can just shut the hell up now.  
(Sorry... D:)

The First Ending is the standard Namixas ending we've all wanted. It's chappy 15 and it's already almost done. So I should have it by tomorrow. (Huzzah!) That one is called _Steady Ground_ and if that's what you want, the adorable Namixas ending, then that's the one to read.

The Second Ending is the SoKai ending where Sora and Kairi end up together despite all the stupid shat that happened. This is more of an 'out of curiosity' thing to read if you wanted to know if they got together and how it happened. It's not gonna be my favorite to write, but whatever. It fits the story and could follow both the first _and_ third ending, but it doesn't have to. Take it how you want. This is how it'll be.

The Third Ending is the _second_ Namixas ending. (:O 'the hell? Why do you need TWO for them?) Because it's an amazing pairing and each of the endings has a different outcome in their relationship. The other one was cute and fluffy and idealist. _This_ ending is the realistic one that's actually what would've happened. It's also probably going to be the shortest. This is for the readers **that want** to know what would really happen when Nams went back to NH.

The Fourth Ending (WHAT THE HELL YOU SAID THERE WAS THREE!) I know what I said, but I contradict myself a lot so it doesn't matter now, does it? No, I don't think so. Basically, the fourth ending is the ending for a different pairing that I got more PMs about than I would've thought. You hid this from the reviewing, guys? Ah. I guess you didn't want to ruin the Namine/Roxas thing going on. But ending four is the _Namine/Sora _ending. YES. IT WILL EXIST. Don't cry. And don't get mad, either, because the way it happens makes totally perfect sense.

**Okaaay...**

That's it, kids. Thanks for reading this. You don't have to review this stupid little author's note (though I would totally like it if you did) but if you do, tell me which ending you want to see first and I shall post them accordingly. :) Alsooo, the different endings are going to be dedicated to certain people. (:O ME?) ...no, not you. But there will be reasoning behind each of my choices. So don't think twice about fair or unfair. (When she says reasoning she means 'it's random bitch.')

Yeah. What that one said.

Love,  
Scotttteh. :3


	16. Steady Ground

**Fifteen  
**_Ending One: Steady Ground_

Roxas's POV

So I bet you're wondering what happened to Naminé after the whole scrapbook incident. I'm here to tell you because her days were rather repetitive until I showed up. And now I can tell you that the rest of her trip was fucking amazing… at least from my eyes it was fucking amazing. She made me so happy I couldn't stand it. My team even one the semifinal game I had that day I first got to kiss. We moved onto the finals, which were only days away. Just keep your eyes going down the page and you'll see a timeline of her last few days with me.

**T-Minus 4 Days**

I jacked my dad's car for the day and Naminé and I went on a day-long joyride. We drove around randomly and ended up six hours away from my house and into Pennsylvania. We hadn't prepared for anything at all. I turned the car around and headed toward Erie, where this awesome indoor waterpark called Splash Lagoon is. I pulled into the parking lot and she laughed.

"Where in hell are we?" she asked me, running her long fingers through her silky flaxen hair. At least she fiddled with the curtains that weren't hidden beneath her Hurley hat. Her baggy purple Fox Riders shirt has black splatter paint patterns on it. Her shorts are small and light blue.

I smirked at her, enjoying the way her lips turned up into a quirky smile. I found myself staring at her. "Erie PA," I told her.

"What are we doing here?" She scratched her forehead and folded her arms when I turned off the car. Her eyes were glued to the massive building in front of us with open and closed waterslides coming out of it like worms out of an apple.

"No idea," I admitted sheepishly. She giggled. I blushed a little. "But would you have an issue staying here tonight? It's a hotel and I don't want to drive anymore…"

"Is this your idea of romantic?"

_Admittedly, in a way yes._

I chuckled awkwardly and rubbed the back of my neck. "…What if it is?"

Naminé leaned over and kissed me sweetly on the cheek. I almost fainted from the slightest touch of hers. She's just so… and so… and her _eyes_ are so..! Gosh she's amazing. And her voice when she tells me that something like this is definitely quixotic.

We decided that the two of us would spend the night here at Splash Lagoon. I used my credit card to take care of everything. We bought bathing suits and extra clothes for tomorrow.

Our day together was amazing. We went swimming and went down the different slides. It was a long day and we didn't leave the pool area until seven. It was a long day before we ordered dinner in and watched TV in the room. The room only had one bed so we shared. I remember when she fell asleep how cute and serendipitous she looked. I fell asleep with my arm around her and the TV on.

**T-Minus 3 Days**

We arrived back at my house. The first thing either of us noticed was the disbelieving look we were receiving from my parents. The drive back was long and difficult, and she did most of the driving that time. When we showed up at my front door with her fingers laced with mine, my mom had this soft smile and my dad is laughing.

"Took you long enough," he muttered.

I turned bright red and Naminé just made it worse. She turned my cheek to face her and kissed me. Right in front of my parents. I almost passed out right then. She tasted so good and the moment was perfect. My parents didn't even mind her kissing me in front of them. She dragged me up the stairs and toward my room. I didn't miss the mouthed 'thank-you' she passed onto my dad. I wondered what that was about.

**T-Minus 2 Days**

We went to the park and acted like little kids. I pushed her on the swings when she asked me to. She was sitting there still, looking at me expectantly until I came up behind her. Instead of wrapping my hands around the chains, I wrapped them around her hands that were _gripping_ the chain. She leaned back into my chest and beamed up at me dazzlingly.

"You're so cute when you're my bitch," she giggles.

I press my lips to her forehead gently. "You're so cute when you _think_ I'm your bitch."

She rolls her eyes and huffs cutely. "Forget it, Roxy. You're whipped."

I pressed my forehead against hers and buried my face in her hair, smelling it and being enraptured by her scent. She snuggles against me. "I'm not whipped," I muttered. I closed my eyes and continued enjoying her presence.

"_Of course not_," she sarcastically said, poking her fingers out from between mine. "I leave tomorrow, you know…" she reminded me needlessly.

I frowned and trie not to go whipped and start crying or break down like the nervous wreck I am. I didn't want her to leave. I didn't want her to go anywhere. I wished she could just move back here and stay here with me.

"So what's your point?" I managed to squeak out weakly.

She suddenly twisted the swing around. I shuddered, startled a little as she faced me. My head was hung disgracefully and she tilted her head. She began rubbing my fingers with her own through the cracks between them. "Roxas… Don't be sad. You'll make _me_ sad and then we'll be acting like stupid sappy idiots that don't know what to do without each other."

I almost said, 'But we _are_ stupid sappy idiots that don't know what to do without each other," but I thought it might turn out to be one-sided and I would embarrass myself in front of her or offend her or something like that. I just don't want to look like a jerk after waiting all this time. Know what I mean? I waited so long for this and I don't want to lose it by being a jackass. What is 'this' exactly? _This_ is Naminé Cruise: girl with a rack, a fine piece of ass, and totally bang-worthy.

Whoops. I spoke to much _male-testosterone_ there. What I was trying to say was that she's intelligent, unique, and stunning. (If only more guys knew how to redeem themselves like I do. I just think I have mad skills.)

"Rox… Come on… Don't give me that look…" she pleaded, kicking her feet like a child not getting her way.

"What way?" I pouted.

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "_That_ way."

"What way?"

"THE WAY YOU'RE LOOKING RIGHT NOW! You look like a helpless puppy. Please don't do that in front of me."

Knowing what was irritating her, I purposely enhanced the puppy effect to see how she would react. I wondered if she was going to hit me for this. "What, you mean _this_?" I pressed my forehead against hers and looked into her eyes as if I was about to start crying.

Her excited breathing slowed down. Her eyes scanned mine then dropped to my mouth. I did the work and kissed her (because I knew she wanted it, of course). She tasted like chocolate and… sadness? She tasted like salty tears. I pulled back to see her crying. What an interesting turn of events. I fake cry, she _actually_ cries. God damn the fact that I don't know how to comfort a crying girl very well that isn't my mom and my mom doesn't count as a girl.

I slipped my hands out from under Naminé's carefully. I then pulled her into my arms in a lifelong embrace from which I never wanted to let go. She wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her face in the crook of it, nuzzling against the skin of my collar and throat. Her hair was so soft it tickled a little but felt so good; like satin sheets on a cool spring evening.

"I… I don't want to leave, Rox…" she whispered. Her voice was shattered like a mirror that received a rock to the face. "I wish we could stay like this forever."

I was now struggling to be the man—to hold back tears. I wanted to cry because I was going to lose something I held so dear for so long. Not completely lose it, but she was going to leave and I was going to be alone again. I didn't know how long a long-distance relationship with me in it could last. I didn't want to wait until the end of high school to stay with her.

"Ditto," I told her solemnly, kissing her ear lightly. "I wish, too."

She half-laughed into me and said, "11:11 pm hasn't happened yet. We can wish then."

"One of us will have to wish for something different," I point out. "Because if we have the same wish then we'll know what the other person wished for and that would cancel it out."

"Oh really…" she whispered disappointedly.

I assured her, "I'll make the other wish. I already have something in mind." Which was true. I did already have an idea.

"What is it?" she asked nosily.

I patted the small of her narrow back affectionately and chuckled. "If I told you it wouldn't come true."

**T-Minus 1 Day**

I helped her pack today.

Needless to say it broke my heart. She was leaving the next day.

Let's just hope 11:11 wishes really do mean something.

**The Day**

It was slightly more than an unfortunate coincidence that my first game in the basketball finals was the same day that Naminé had to leave to go back to New Hampshire. Her and the guys had a plan to drive back one half today, spend a night in a hotel (damn lucky guys spending that kind of alone time with her…), then finish the drive the next day. They were doing six hours today and had to leave around three. My game was at two.

We had already known she wasn't going to get to see the whole thing. She, Sora, and her other two friends the weird prematurely gray dude, the ditzy blond with ADD, and the kid that looked like he was going to _kill_ the ditzy blond with ADD all sat on the front row of the bleachers to watch the game up close and personal. I didn't know where Kairi was and I didn't care. She could fuck herself for all I cared. She was a bitch to my woman.

_My woman…_

Man, I _love_ the sound of that!

My team was doing fantastically. It was the end of the first quarter and we were ahead by seven points. At the end of the quarter Axel ended up going off to make out with his girl Larxene. I've known her for a while and I think she's great for him. They're both assholes. It works completely.

The coach- who's still my dad for those of you who forgot –switched me out for John so I could say goodbye to Naminé. She was going to have to leave soon.

She scooted over and made room for me to sit next to her, but I shook my head. I wanted to be alone with her. I wanted to spend alone time with her and not share her. She was mine. Mine, mine, mine. "What's the rush?" she asked me with an eyebrow raised.

"You have to leave in half an hour," I remind her. A glimmer of hope hits me and I wish she was staying.

She sighs and waves her hand dismissively. "Whatever, we can stay until the end of the game. I want to see you win your championship." She smiled brilliantly.

I melted inside. Just the way I flopped down next to her all weak in the knees like the whipped sonofabitch I am gave away how much she smoldered me. There, I said it: I am whipped. I, Roxas Colton, am whipped.

I was called back in during the second half of the third quarter, all of the fourth quarter, and the first overtime. Now we were going into double overtime, tied at 73 points each. This team was good. I was beat, tired, dying on the vine. But I didn't want to stop playing. I wanted her to be proud of me. I wanted her to remember me as the boyfriend that rocked basketball _and_ her world.

My dad looked at me worriedly as I downed my fifth bottle of water throughout the game. I hadn't had to go to the bathroom once and for that I was thankful.

"Are you sure you can play this?" he asked me. His arms were folded sternly across that broad chest of his that I tried to sculpt mine after. He always looked so good and I wanted to be a looker just like my dad. He was also amazing at this sport. It ran in the family.

I took deep breaths and nodded. "I'm… not… giving… up," I told him between lead breaths. I caught a glimpse of Naminé laughing along with her friends over my shoulder. I was so jealous that I wasn't the one putting the smile on her face. I had to do this. "I'm playing."

"Roxas…"

"Coach, I can do this." I met his stare head-on with a stubborn determination that wasn't going to die out. "We're going to win this time."

"Are you sure about this, Colton?" he asked me one more time speculatively. I knew he didn't want to put me in again, but I wasn't going to take no for an answer. I was the MVP for the team anyway. This was part of my job. I wanted to be the best.

I sighed and rubbed my sweaty hair, fanning out drops of water and splattering them on my benched teammates. "She has to leave soon, Coach Ventus. I'm going to make watching the end of the game worth her while."

I think he knew I was really addressing him man-to-man, mano y mano when I said that. He knew that I meant business. That fatherly twinkle in his eye said more to me than he could make come out of his open mouth. He just closed his eyes, wiped a tear from one, and called all the team over.

All fifteen of us, including the benchwarmers, stood together. "We've got ten minutes left on the clock, team. We've got _ten minutes_ to kick some ass and put those pussies in their place," Ventus told us all. I think I started to turn red. Leave it to dad to say something that embarrassing. "Roxas, Axel, John, Lea, Xaldin, Luxord, Ian, and Tim are manning this session. The rest of you sit your asses down at wait this out."

I smiled meekly at my dad and shrugged. "…Thanks."

He winked subtly as if to say _no problem._

The game commenced without a hitch. We were all off and running, well rested after our five minute break between overtimes. The clock was running out and we were 78 to 76, us down by two. None of us could keep playing anymore. If we wanted to win, one of us would have to pull a three-pointer out of our ass to claim the title.

And guess who the best three-point shooter on the team is? Unlucky number 17: Me. I'm thinking I should change to 13 after this. The number suits me better.

The clock was running out. Xaldin had the ball and was bringing it up the court toward the other team's hoop. He was blocked at the half-court line. It looked like he wasn't going to be able to get through. He looked at me with these distressed eyes and I gulped. Fifteen seconds left and I was probably the only chance we had. He chucked me the ball.

I ran up court to the line, bounced the ball three times and avoided letting any of the members of the opposing take it by passing it between my legs. I then swallowed down any pride I had, aimed, and shot. But right as I shot someone jumped, trying to reach the ball. I clamped my eyes shut. I didn't want to see this hideous loss. I didn't want to see us lose another championship.

The buzzer sounded.

Silence…

Silence…

Then… cheering? From our side?

I opened one eye nervously and found the members of my team flabbergasted and proud, all flipping shits and freaking out. The stands were in a total uproar. I made the shot..?

Scoreboard read 78-79, BPK in the lead with zero seconds left. We finally won the finals. We were first at regional level and would get to play states. _State level!_

I was standing still with my mouth agape and my head in the clouds. I couldn't believe it. I absolutely could not believe it.

A pair of arms was thrown around me and at first I thought it was Naminé, but it turned out to be Axel leaning down awkwardly to squeeze me to death. The rest of the team followed until everyone was attacking me. I screamed for help, laughing and shoving. We won. We were celebrating. We earned it.

Well, _I_ earned it. But let's not tell them that part.

Later on after all the excitement died down, Sora stood at the car the other guys had rented with his single duffel bag of stuff. I had no idea how they all fit their luggage in the trunk without it overflowing, but they did it. Naminé hadn't put hers in yet. I offered to help her but she just shook her head and lead me out to the car so I could bid everyone farewell.

She stood on the sidewalk hugging Sora. They cried on each other and made all these weird promises like they weren't going to see each other again. She did the same for her other friends. Even that creepy gray haired guy (who I now know is Riku) welled up with tears when he hugged her. I didn't understand what was going on when Sora, Riku, and the other two guys were in the car but Naminé wasn't.

"Aren't you going with them?" I asked more curiously than in a way that made me sound like I wanted to get rid of her.

She turned this cute shade of bright pink and shook her head. "I forgot to tell you…"

"She's staying here!" Sora called out, leaning over Riku to yell out the driver's side window. Riku rolled his eyes and shoved Sora out of the way.

_What_?

I looked at Naminé and dead seriously asked her if she was staying.

She smiled breathtakingly. "I gave my parents an offer they couldn't refuse and they said I could live here. They're going to send guardianship papers to Aqua and Ventus within the weeks before school so I can go to Midpark."

…

What?

I couldn't talk. I couldn't breathe. In the background I heard Sora and them leave. They sped off down the street toward Brookgate. Brookgate was where the highway let on and I guessed that's how they were getting home. Kairi was probably taking a plane, the high maintenance bitch.

"Uh… Roxas?" Naminé waved her hand in front of my face, snapped her fingers, tried every trick in the book before I responded.

Like a cheesy scene from a romance movie, I kissed her and swung her around. She kept her arms tightly around my neck until we stopped. It wasn't that romantic because I was sweaty and she was dressed tomboyish and whatnot in one of my jerseys and a pair of jean shorts with her Hurley hat turned backwards, but as far as I was concerned it was the sweetest thing in the world.

By the way her face lit up when we pulled apart, I guess you could say she was thinking the same exact thing. Who knows? I think this is the most serious I've ever been with a girl and the most serious girl I'll ever be with. If I have to be with anyone else I might fall over and die because Naminé Cruise is just… She's someone very special. Nothing will ever change that.

* * *

**A/N:** HA! I went all fluffy on you guys with the stupid cuteness and whatnot with this chapter. At first I was stuck on _T-Minus 3_ but after that everything just came out so easily. This is the ending that most people will probably prefer and adore because it IS Namixas and it _is_ cannon and it _is_ the happiest ending that'll be written. I figured I treat you to this one first. Now just because this is one of them doesn't mean you shouldn't read the others. :| If you don't I might cry and think I should've saved this for last. It would've been better strategizing.

I'm thinking about writing a spin-off of this ending... Maybe a collab with someone? I don't know yet. Probably not. And see, you didn't even have to wait that long for this x]

Hope you enjoyed ending numero uno. Dos will be the SoKai ending, which is a part of this ending in a way. It's like when Sora and them all get back home. The other two endings are coupled as well, I suppose you could say. But that's the format for the rest of this.


	17. Our Phases

**Sixteen  
**_Ending Two: Our Phases  
Sora/Namine_

Sora's POV

I was nothing short of heartbroken when Naminé started dating Roxas over summer. And I hate to admit it, but I was happy when they realized the _long-distance relationship_ thing wasn't working out and they decided to stay friends. I know I always liked Kairi, but once I found out about what she did with Roxas, going behind Nam's back? I was hurt. Not just by her, but by Roxas. Then he got together with Naminé and I was _infuriated_. He did not deserve her. _I_ deserved a girl like her. I wanted her. And eventually, I _did_ get her.

I know. I bet you're wondering how the hell that happened. How did the so-in-love _Roxas _and _Naminé_ turn into a single Roxas and a very pleasant _Sora_ and Naminé? Well, it happened in a few simple phases.

**Phase 1**

It started as soon as Naminé got back to New Hampshire. Her first full day back Riku and I went over her house to visit. We showed up after her parents went to work. Kairi left early; as we were arriving she left. I didn't care that she was there. In fact, the sight of her face disgusted me. I thought she had liked me all that time but I was wrong. I was so wrong. I was just a little toy to her, someone she could flirt with and tease and never feel bad about. I was so _used_.

Riku and I showed up at ten in the morning, knocked on the door, and waited for five minutes until we gave up and snuck around to the back of her house. Or… I did anyway. _I_ snuck around and left Riku out front. I stood outside one of the windows I've learned that are hers. The curtains to one of them were open and I could see in clearly. She was awake on her bed, curled up. I think she was crying because her knees were up and her head was between them. I watched her for a little while she listened to music. It bothered me to see her so upset. It really upset me.

I knocked on her window. I knew it was cold, but I couldn't feel it. I had on a half-glove on. It was simple and black. With it I wore my favorite pair of dark-wash jeans and a black shirt with a white collar. My shoes were wet because it was raining outside- starting to pour, too. Rain was coming down, my hair was clinging to every part of my face and head, and I had water in places I wish water wasn't.

Her bright blue eyes shoot in my direction. They lock with mine and I see shock and joy and maybe even excitement. She rushes over to the window and throws it open after unlocking it.

"Sora, what're you doing here?" she yells over the rain. "Never mind, just get in here!" She holds out her hand.

I take it, scale the side of her house, and dive in through the window, painfully landing flat on my face. "Ouch…" I groan, rubbing the back of my head. I hear the window shut and the locks click.

"Sora, are you stupid? It's pouring out!" she needlessly reminds me, tapping me in the side with her foot.

I mutter some things about falling, rain, and Romeo & Juliet. I also add that I came to see her and that made it completely worth it. "You didn't text me yesterday," I tell her. "I was worried and I wanted to see you." I push myself off the ground and get on my feet. I dust off some fuzzes and scratch my head. I don't know whether or not I should dry off or if I should be embarrassed of my words.

She blushed and smiled softly, tucking strands of her silky blonde hair behind her ear. She giggled adorably, causing me to smile in return solely from the sound of hers. "That's sweet of you, Sora… I'll keep this in mind next time I'm lonely on a rainy day."

I beamed and shrugged my shoulders. I wanted to touch her. I mean, not like _that_, but… I mean, I _do_ want to touch her like that, but just when the timing is better. Now is not that time. First she had to break up with Roxas. Then she would have to like _me_. And then we have to start going out and then spend some time together and _then_ we can go at it. God knows I'd love to go at it like rabbits with her.

"You should." I assure her that, "You could call any time and I'd pick up."

**Phase 2**

I talked to Roxas today about long-distance relationships and explained to him how difficult it is to keep them up. He sounded really miserable toward the concept of not being with her and I guess you could say that this was the day I sabotaged their relationship. I basically undermined the two of them here and didn't feel bad about it at all. I was so angry at him for all the times I saw his lips on hers. He deserved to suffer. Sure he always treated her right, thanked her for supporting him, and acted like she was a princess.

I was still convinced I could do better. I knew I could. You know why? Because _I_ was supposed to be with Naminé, not Roxas. She should have been mine. And I know it took me a while to realize how I felt for her, but when I realized it I realized that _damn_ I feel for her. It was after this phone call that I decided that to lie and cheat my own cousin like this, I must _really _like her. And I don't think I just like her. It was here that I considered that I might just love her.

Lucky for me they broke up a week later.

After this day, I made sure I waited patiently for Naminé to come around. She had to eventually, right? So I waited and waited, slowly getting closer to her emotionally. Physically, we upped things to where she held my hand in public, to my pleasure, and when we hung out she would kiss me goodbye or goodnight.

**Phase 3**

The next large event was the Homecoming Dance a month after the school year began. Our school was weird and had a strange invitation thing going on where they would set up something for you that made it easier to ask them out. They also sold flowers of many types, which was nice. But you couldn't blame me for not buying flowers from them. No, I drove out of my way by forty minutes to go to a videogame store to pick something up for her as a surprise and went ten _more_ minutes out of my way to get her flowers.

I'm getting the vibe that I'm whipped.

What I did was unconventional. I stuffed her in my car after school, drove her to the local lake at sunset. We got out of the car and took seats on a bench. I remembered that I had something to give to her then dashed back to the car to get it. I grabbed the game and the flowers and took my place back next to her.

Her baby blue eyes were complimented by a blue t-shirt. It had a cartoon of a carton of milk with a carton of eggs. An egg was dead on the bottom and the shirt said, 'When good milk goes bad.' Her jeans were a dark gray. Her new Converses she got for school were lavender. She dyed a couple strands of her lovely flaxen hair ice blue, which I must admit brought her eyes out even more. She was just one lovable bundle of blue.

"So Naminé…" I scratched the back of my head and averted my eyes, refusing to stare at her for one more second. I wouldn't have been surprised if she already thought I was creeping.

"Yeah?" Her fists rested on her knees. They bounced as she childishly watched a couple ducks waddle by. A smile crossed her face.

"Homecoming is at the end of this week," I told her stupidly. Way to go Sora. You say that as if she doesn't already know.

"I never would've guessed," she snorted.

I chuckled awkwardly at myself. "Ha. Yeah… Anyway, do you have a date yet?" I asked her.

She frowned and shook her head forlornly. Her bright eyes dimmed. It appeared that she was about to cry. "A-a few people asked me to go, but I rejected them. I'm still getting over Roxas and it just wouldn't be the same."

Of course she was not over Roxas yet. Suffice to say it totally obliterated my plans and tore them to shreds. I was devastated when I heard that.

But then she beamed, pushed hair behind her delicate ears. "Sora, were you about to ask me to the dance..?"

I flushed and my whole face paled then turning bright red. She found me out alright. She got me pegged so easily. How did she do that? Ugh. Now I was really mortified and nervous. I started to talk like an idiot. "N-no… I mean, I guess…" I sighed and gave up. "Yes, I was about to ask you. But you just said you're not over Roxas, so—"

"Sora." She interrupted me. She kissed me lightly on the corner of my mouth and I got the feeling she intended on doing that and didn't in fact miss my lips. "I'd like that."

-(S)-

At Homecoming, she looked stunning. It was white, but I'll leave the rest to your imagination. She was sexy, she was beautiful, she was _gorgeous. _She was everything I wanted to see in her. It was interesting to see her without a hat and instead wearing makeup. She was just so… _wow_.

It was official. I was in love.

**Phase 4**

The final phase of my diabolical plan occurred when I went over her house at night. Her parents were home so I parked in the driveway on the other side of the forked road. I snuck over to her house, to the back window I was growing accustom to climbing in through. I pulled out my phone and texted her.

_To: Naminé (heart)_

_Message: Open your windoooooow!_

I waited, leaning against the outside of her room.

_From: Naminé (heart)_

_Message: Wtf, are you randomly here again, Sor?_

_To: Naminé (heart)_

_Damn straight ;) _

_From: Naminé (heart)_

_Message: …you're lucky that everyone is out of town this weekend._

Her curtains opened and I was met with a grimace. I smiled sheepishly and tapped on the glass, hoping she would let me in. She gave a sigh of annoyance and grudgingly let me in.

"You're crazy, ya know that?"

I just smiled dumbly back at her and shrugged. I stood there in an extremely close proximity as she closed the window. I bet she could've felt my breath on her neck. And by the way she shuddered from a sudden chill, I'd say she enjoyed it.

In her room, one lamp was turned on. It gave the room a certain ambiance. She had an iPod speaker pillow that was currently hooked up to her iPod and playing the third Silverstein album, _Arrivals and Departures_. It was eleven at night, the rest of the house was quiet, and we were alone in her room.

"I generally peg you for the girl who sleeps in the living room for the sake of falling asleep to 90s sitcom reruns," I inform her.

She giggles and elbows me playfully. "I was just about to do that, actually. Care to join me?" I nodded _way_ too eagerly. "Cool. Grab one of my stuffed animals for me, two fuzzy blankets, and my phone. I'll go get us food and stuff like that."

Me- being the whipped bitch I am –followed her orders. I piled up two micro-fleece blankets (one red, one blue), her oldest stuffed animal (aptly named Rattle Bear), and her cellphone in my arms. I carried it out to the palatial, hexagonal living room. Much like her room, only one lamp was on. I wondered which couch I was going to inhabit for the night. Probably the one with the worse view of the TV. I separated our things, took off my sweatshirt then my regular shirt, and was left with a pile of shirts and my socks. I still had on a wife beater though. Not that I would ever beat my wife. That's just wrong, man. That's just _so_ wrong.

Naminé came into the living room and turned on the TV from the remote while carrying two large bottled waters, popcorn, chocolate (ZOMG CHOCOLATE), and a bag of barbecue chips. She set everything down on the coffee table. "I'll be right back. Have to change into my pajamas."

Unbeknownst to her though, my hormones were raging and I ended up following her to her room. I didn't watch her change per say, but I did throw open the door randomly and surprise her once she was decent.

She smoldered me with her leer. "I'd have killed you if you saw anything."

I pshawed. "No you wouldn't. You love me too much."

"You know it."

I stared at her massive pile of stuffed animals. There are five hundred there, I think. I never thought she was weird for it. In fact, her obsession with keeping keepsakes from her youth to retain some sense of 'young' is something I find admirable. And even though it's creepy I still think it's… kind of cute. She has so many strange animals like hippos and bats and manatees and elephants, unicorns, dolphins, cows, moose… a soccer ball…

"Don't be hating my stuffed animals or else," she threatened.

I peeked over my shoulder to see her glaring at me with her thin arms folded across her (WOW) noticeable chest. A pair of white shorts and a light blue spaghetti-strap shirt? Lord help me.

She tells me, "I sleep with one every night because I'm afraid of being alone. So don't hurt any of them. It'll leave a huge gaping hole in my heart."

I look at her and say the dumbest, most retarded thing I could've ever possibly said in the history of stupid things.

"If I injected myself with stuffing and fluff like would you sleep with me?"

There was a moment of silence before she started laughing. She patted me on the shoulder and led me back to the living room. "Even without the stuffing and fluff I would, Sora. Even without it."

The red from the past couple months returned to my cheeks when she placed a light kiss on one of them. She reached down and held my hand, laced our fingers. I get this strange tingling feeling and I hear butterflies roaring in my stomach. I never felt this when I liked Kairi. Or any other girl for that matter. Naminé is just… she's something pretty special.

She turned off her bedroom light.

_I wouldn't have this any other way._

* * *

**A/N: ***gasps for air as if coming up from water* GAH! I'M ALIVE, EVERYONE! I usually satisfied you with such quick updates that this must seem like forever. I mean a whole week? If you're still alive, I'm sorry this took me so long. I had no inspiration at _all_ until my friend came over today. We were wrestling and he came up with that 'injected myself with stuffing and fluff would you sleep with me' thing. That was him. And I can't take credit for it even though I thought it was adorable. So it's all thanks to my buddy that this chapter was cranked out. Too bad it sucks, right? :\

Yeah, he's far less descriptive than Roxas. But I said so little about Sora and still really wanted to write this ending that I had to make do with what I could. It's ass compared to the other SVS chapters and possibly to the next ending (realistic Namixas). I don't know. I haven't started it yet. Damn. I'm really falling behind. I'm sorry guys. Things are just difficult for me right now. If I've gotten in a real PM conversation with you, you probably already know what's going on with my book and my depression and school and yadadadada it's just all bull. I'm sick of it, but I'm up and moving so there must be something worth doing.

I've been trying to take a small break from writing because I don't want to wear out all my ideas or die from writing too much. I bet it's possible. Just give me two more years.

Sorry for the wait guys. And **THANK YOU** for all your wonderful reviews you've given, your kind words, criticism, thoughtfulness, and faithfulness. It really touches my heart.

Scotty :3


	18. Wishful Thinking

**Seventeen  
**_Final Ending: Wishful Thinking_

Naminé's POV

I fight with Roxas's vice-grip on my wrist, refusing to look at his face. Refusing to look at him at all in general. I don't want to see his teary eyes. I don't want to see him plead for me to stay.

I tell him, "I can't stay." And he tells me he doesn't believe that; like I'm just bullshitting in an attempt to get away from him. Has he not realized how testing this is for me? Has he not seen the tracks of tears striping my cheeks? He talks like I'm choosing to leave him. Does he really think I would _choose_ to end the greatest days of my life? Because my greatest moments are within the few days I truly got to _be_ with Roxas Colton and nothing will ever change just how good it feels to know that I succeeded. I finally got my swish. Why would I ever go back by my own accord?

"You don't _have_ to go," he tries to convince me.

I shake my head. He's so deep in denial that I almost pity him. Stupid Roxas. Stupid Roxas with stupidly eloquent eyes and stupid soft spikey hair and stupid… stupidity. He's stupid. So very stupid. So stupid in fact that I might consider staying just to teach him how to not be so stupid. Or… perhaps it's _not_ stupidity. Maybe he's naïve. Maybe he's 'blinded by love' or whatever that painfully cheesy saying is (though if he is I'd probably kill him for being so disgustingly sappy).

"What do you expect me to do?" I ask him, finally wrenching my hand away and rubbing my wrist. "I worked for years to build up the life I have there. I have more friends there than I ever would have here. I can't just throw that away."

"I'm not asking you to throw it away," he informs me. "I'm asking you to give _this_ a chance."

I raise an eyebrow skeptically. "But Roxas, this _was_ the chance. And now it's over."

Shit. That came out wrong.

His arms dangle loosely at his sides now, and he's looking at me disbelievingly. "Are you… breaking up with me?"

I shake my head vehemently. "No, Roxas, that's not what I meant…"

"You _are_ breaking up with me, aren't you?"

I exhale gruffly. "No. I'm not. I'm just saying that this trip was my chance to be with you. We have lives to go back to once I'm gone. You won't see me every day. You won't talk to me every day. And it won't matter because I wouldn't have been around anyway."

He folds his arms over his chest then cracks out his back. "I would've expected better from you, Naminé Cruise. I always expected better. But _this_? You wait all this time… get what you want, then throw it away? If I didn't know any better I'd say that you like the _idea_ of me. Not me."

Gosh, I have to get away. I feel like I'm about to throw up. I have to say something to make him stop. I feel fucking sick and I'm going to pass out. My head is pounding. My chest is aching. Dear God, please make it stop. Stop this, please. I can't take it. I said the wrong thing. I always screw this stuff up and ruin it and make it so much more difficult on everyone around me because I'm terrible at life and love. I finally almost have love, and look what happens: I FUCK IT UP.

Well… Sometimes there's nothing left to do but prove yourself.

I inhale deeply. "Roxas," I begin, "I can honestly tell you that it's not the idea of you that I love. In fact, people like you generally piss me off. It's **you**. It's been you since I was a little kid. When everyone started noticing you, I had already accepted you as a part of my life. I told myself that one day, even if so far off that it doesn't even happen, I would be close to you. I would earn my place in your world and I would keep it no matter what. But you see," I tell him, "Things don't work out quite the way I plan. Ever. It's why I don't make plans; they always fall through. I would stay here with you if I could. I swear on my life that I would much rather be here than back in Scenic Nowhere. But I don't have a choice and it's not my choice to make. **I love you, Roxas**. I would give anything to keep this going, but it's just not going to work over the distance…"

"What the hell makes you think that? You don't trust me, you don't tell me shit because of it? Why didn't you tell me this shit sooner?" He sounds infuriated. He's got his fists clenched and jaw locked.

And I'm not scared…

"You knew I had to go home at the end of my trip. And right now, I don't think I _should_ trust you with how badly you're reacting to something you already knew was going to happen!"

"I didn't think it'd make you break up with me!" he screams, throwing his fist at a cement wall. When the two collide, he has no expression on his face other than anger. "I didn't think that I'd only get a few fucking days. I wait all that time that's all I get? How is that fair to me?"

"**Life isn't fair!**" I remind him. "Life has never _been_ fair and never _will_ be fair. It's not meant to be fair. Shit happens! We just have to get over it and move on with our lives."

"So you expect me to go back to my life like I didn't lose you? Like I didn't get my hopes up just to have them torn down so quickly and easily?"

When I was a little girl I used to want to be a pro soccer player.

Imagine how fast that dream went down.

"You didn't lose me. You know where I'll be."

He whips his head around and snarls at me. "Not with me."

…

I think I was just dumped.

At first, the effect of the words doesn't sink in. I just stand there and leer for a few seconds before nodding carefully. I take it in stride, even though it feels like I was just punched in the stomach by brass knuckles.

"…Then that's fine with me…" I force myself to lie through grit teeth. "I'm sorry this didn't work out the way you were hoping it would."

He shrugs. Three words break my heart. "I'm over it."

-(NC)-

For a long week or two after that I would come home, lie on my bed, and stare at my ceiling through teary eyes. When released, little droplets of water would leave fiery trails down my cheeks. I would laugh mildly and wipe them away with fondness. I would lie there and think about Roxas _this_ and Roxas _that_ and Roxas's _smile_ and Roxas's _eyes_ and how much fun I had being his friend. Being his girlfriend was great, too, but I think that the friendship was all I truly wanted. I loved the idea of someone like him. But I also loved him. And those feelings have yet to go away; I doubt they ever will. The first love is the one that you have a soft spot for the rest of your life, right? If anyone deserves that spot, it's Roxas Colton.

I'd like to say that we ended up friends again. We talked and got closer over the internet once more, reverted to texting each other like friends would and that we never brought up that we were together. I'd love to say that at some point on one of my trips I visited him once more and we rekindled; that at Christmastime he fell so far head over heels for me that he moved up to my area to be with me.

I'd love to say that, but I would be lying. None of that happened.

The only significant event _was_ around Christmas though. I went out on my annual trip to visit my family for the holidays. I went up to the Rec Center at some point to practice because I had gotten shabby at my sport shortly after returning home. When I was up there, I played my heart out. No one else was there. Kairi was with the fam. I was settled on trying to master three-point shots. So I did.

I backed up to the line, dribbled, and shot. The brown ball hit the rim and bounced off in a direction I didn't feel like following it. I collapsed on the floor and took shaky breaths to calm myself. I was so good at this before, but somehow New Hampshire fucked me up.

Fabulous.

I closed my eyes, began to calm myself down.

_Swish_.

A ball when straight through a net, bounced once, then stopped. I didn't hear it again. I opened one eye shiftily and who else do I see but Roxas standing there cradling my basketball in his arms.

"Your follow-through was off," he informed me.

I nodded. "Yeah. I know. I lost my focus."

He turned around, looking about. "You're the only one in here. What's there to lose focus on?"

_You, now that you're here, obviously_.

I shrugged. "I got a little lost in thought."

"If you want to be great at basketball you have to learn to forget the shit and go through with the game. Play it so that when the final buzzer goes off you have no regrets."

I tried my best not to laugh. "Did you seriously just quote _Grown Ups_? I'm as much an Adam Sandler fan as the next guy but _seriously_?"

Roxas pursed his lips, which twitched as if a smile was being repressed. "I wanted to sound philosophical and that's the first thing that came to mind."

"When did you see it?" I asked him.

"Couple nights ago on Netflix; Axel came over."

I gave him a lazy thumbs-up. "Awesome."

He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably and inadvertently began to dribble the basketball he had gotten on my rebound. "So… How've you been..?"

I smirked. I knew he was awkward, but not _this_ awkward. I can handle things like this better than anyone. I know how to roll it because shit, I'm not just a bitch, I am _tha _bitch.

I leaped to my feet and stole the ball. "One-on-one. Loser buys lunch."

Roxas's face lit up in that way that only Roxas Colton's face could. His eyes gleamed with challenge and interest. His dazzling smile broke free from iron latches. "Deal." We shook on it.

I pushed myself to the limit facing him off. I had always wanted to impress him, ever since I was a kid. I finally had my chance. This was it. This was when I would prove to myself and to him that I was the one Roxas Colton should be with because I'm the one who will challenge him, push him to the edge.

I tried, I succeeded, he bought me lunch. We talked for a while after that, and I'd like to think that we did rekindle. The spark was still there. Chemistry doesn't just _poof_ and disappear. It was still there. And that's what I would rely on as we rebuilt the castle we had built together.

This castle now has impenetrable walls of impossible scales. Nothing can climb over them. Nothing can break through them. These walls took silent years of childhood to build secretly on our own. Each of us were building walls; they just took some time to meet up. The walls had been knocked down, but for some reason they were easier to build up this time. The castle kept us safe.

I said that I belong with Roxas Colton because I'm the one who can push him to the edge. I could push him _off_ the edge before other people got him anywhere _near_ said edge. But if he stumbles or falls, I'll always pull him away from the edge and back into my arms.

_"The End"_

* * *

**A/N:** Hello, My name is Scotty/Cara and I am the biggest bitch in the world. :'( I am so fucking sorry this took me so long. This is **the end** of this story. I'm not writing any more for it because HAI this is the last ending. I said I would do the SoKai, but there's no way in hell I'm going to. You're so lucky I even finished this one. I thought I would never write it. But in light of the recent troubles I've been having with my boyfriend I have decided that I would finish this story because I need to feel like I accomplished something.

On the upside, my book will be on the market within the next couple weeks. :D

On the downside, it's under my real name. :X Not Scotty. So when you all read it you'll probably feel somewhat betrayed. (Yes. I'm horrible. I know.) I'll probably put a link-type-thing to where you can find it on my profile or in a new chapter for my chapter stories. Not sure yet. It's only if you want to read it, though. You don't have to buy it... But it'd be nice if you supported the Struggling Writer (as opposed to Starving Artist).

Thank you so much for all your support on My SVS. I honestly wouldn't have written this without the inspiration of the one formerly known as Random KH Fangirl. ;) I couldn't have done it without any of you. Thank you for forcing me along and giving me reason to keep writing, even when words seem to fail me I have always found something to write because I know someone, somewhere out there, cares. And it's that care that pushed me this far.

**I **fucking **love you all.**

xxx


	19. Author's Note! SHE'S BACK!

**The A/N to End all A/Ns**

**A/N**: It's been… a long time since I've worked with FFN to say the least. It's been a long time since I've written quite a few of these stories. So to do everyone a favor, I'm going to put this note up on all the old stories that were going to be updated and mention the condition of each. Sounds like a plan to me. In the meantime, I'd like to thank everyone who's ever taken the time to review a LIT story. It's been a decent road that I hope to hop back on this season, inspired by my good friend _FreeKiwi_. If you've never read his stories, you should. They're sights for sore eyes, lemme tell ya.

Anyway, I'm sure a lot of the people that used to read my stories are gone by now and it might only be new people that read this note, but no matter who you are it doesn't matter. Because we all have one thing in common…

FAAAANFICTIOOOONNNN. (Trollolololzors?)

Without further ado, I give you the plans! Going in order from oldest update to newest with these stories. Blasts from the past are win!

**X**

Shades of Destiny: 99.999% chance this will never be updated again. Marking it as complete as I have a new videogame love that is NOT Riku sadly. This story was fun for a little bit but I didn't even like it's parallel-sequel that I'd written first so to be honest it's probably better that it never gets updated.

80 Days of You: I'd originally been writing this with a friend of mine whom I'm not longer in close contact with. I miss her terribly since she's moved but I guess this is just the way things go. Marking it as complete, never updating.

Defining Alive: Our Pact: This story was the _definition_ of planning and not following through. Believe me…I have an entire outline for the series sitting somewhere on my computer. If you want the outline for the series or would like to take the outline and write the story from here on out the way you'd like, feel free to inbox me and be my guest. It was a good idea but the odds of me updating it are low… Then again since I've been a twisted fuck lately it might come back. Who knows.

Muse: Marking as complete. Not updating. Nuff said.

Or Never: I'm relatively sure that this story, if this note gets read, will be the only thing anyone cares about. It was a good run of a story, but my writing style has changed a lot since the original _Matchstick Houses_ and even _Or Never_ itself. I can't guarantee I won't come back and try to fix the whole thing or come back and finish it in my new style. Not marking it as complete because in my head it's not. It still hasn't reached the end. QQ

Fad: I didn't even like writing this. Marking as complete. Never updating.

Ink: See above.

Country Gentleman: I liked this idea. Might come back to it. The short chapters meant I could write it in short spurts and not feel guilty about it.

My SVS: And here's where you'll start thinking, "BUT CARA/SCOTTY/WHOEVER THE HELL YOU ARE! I THOUGHT SVS WAS OVER!" I'll be more than obliged to say, "Yes, random awkward fan, it is. But it's very, _very_ possible I'll continue with the story based off of the true ending, _Wishful Thinking_ (if anyone remembers that. It's been a fucking year). Everyone thought that the first ending was the legitimate one. So did I, to be honest. But looking back on it, if I want to continue this story it _will _be, for a fact through the final ending that I offered of the story. Shit. I already have plans.

New Stories to Possibly Come!

_Perfect World:_ While I've been gone, I've been playing Perfect World International and private servers of PWI. If you know anything about it, I'm on Dreamweaver for PWI, PWBD, and PWV as well as PWR. _In a Perfect World_ would essentially be the true stories of what I did over Summer 2011 and my time on PWBD. It's actually rather dramatic, sad, and heartwarming. You'd be surprised. o.o So I think that'd be a fun tale to share with the world.

_Final Fantasy X/X-2:_ I don't have a title because I haven't really worked on it much yet. It's kind of something I dabble with between hours of fighting Evrae e.e But it could easily become more than that and most likely will.

_Kingdom Hearts:_ YEAH BABY. That's what you wanted to hear, right? It's all about Kingdom fucking Hearts, man. Is it going to be yaoi? Probably not. The relationship I'm currently in reminds me a lot of Roxas and Namine when it comes to characters. So if I come back the stories most likely _won't_ be the AkuRoku you know and love. D: And since I actually dislike Kairi odds are there won't be a SoKai going on there. She reminds me of a typical teenage dumb bitch and it's _so_ aggravating!

**X**

Thank you so much for reading this note if you did. I hope to reconnect with the FF community and see what's been going on. I went back and read some old stories recently that reminded me what it was all about and why I enjoyed it so much.

Authors that managed to do this without even realizing it include **Verovex, FreeKiwi, **and **XShiori-chanX. **Gosh I don't even know if two out of the three are still on here anymore :( It's been so long.

See you on the other side, readers. And if you ARE reading this note, thank you. I love you. o.o


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